So, I've been struggling alot in the last few moments- it all came to a head tonight. I had a huge panic attack, I couldn't breath. Like I was actually on my knees gasping for air, I called my Mam and she didn't know to do so she called the helpline who told her I wasn't having a panic attack and to get me to hospital because I was probs having a heart attack. That the hospital had to do loads of tests, that she was shocked my doctor hadn't given me a 24 hour monitor for my symptoms

Sitting in the waiting room of the a&e I thought I was going to die, like I was sure of it. After my Mam told me what the helpline said, I was sure of my death. I couldn't breath and all I could hear was my heart racing. So they did a ecg, took my blood pressure. Waited a few hours to see the doctor, he said he didn't think it was anything. That the ecg showed nothing, that my heart was kinda high but grand. So five hours later, I'm at home and at a loss.

The help-line reminded me of a gp (who I had seen when my doctor was on hols) also sent me in to the hospital at once telling me I probably had a life or death infection in March 2018 after a test at her office and telling her all the issues I had. The hospital said there was nothing and I'm still here- so that might be here my doubt comes from sometimes. My Mam also said she wants to make a complaint about that helpline- but I guess anything about the heart they have to send you in. Maybe she was just over the top about it.

The helpline had me dead, the hospital did like one test and that was enough. I'm all out of types, I know I did a post here earlier but I'm going to take a break from here. I need to focus on my mental well being 100%, that means off the internet fully as I tend to find things to get me worked up alot. Also when I thought I was dying in the waiting room, I was so upset because there was so much more I wanted to do. Wanted to see and I havne't done it. So I want to work on that.

Thank you and Goodnight, I'm going to try and really kick myself up the bum about this. Use it as a push for myself. Not fall into the whole "Oh no what if the hospital was wrong and I'm dying!" gap.