A break

[Scass]

Glad you saw your gp and that you’re trying something new! Keep us posted x

[LouiseAndy]

Glad you saw your gp and that you’re trying something new! Keep us posted x

Thanks Scass, I'm just truly feeling rubbish and looking forward to trying the tablets. Just hoping they help because I'm really at a loss of what to do.

[LouiseAndy]

I'm really struggling tonight, I feel like such a burden and waste of space. Like I had a test done in the a&e, my gp listened to everything today and said everything was okay. Yet I'm struggling to breath, my limbs are feel so heavy, my hearts racing. I can't sleep in fear, I feel so sick. I'm scared to start my tablets tomorrow. I'm so weak, I thought I came so far. I'm menat to be going on hols on Sunday but how can I like this? I want to go, I want to all these things yet I'm so weak. I know this place may not be the best for me but I feel like I'm putting a burden on my friends and family.....I feel like there sick of me. They have the right to be.

Oh I also don't have a boyfriend anymore lol gonna take that as a good thing though

[LouiseAndy]

Just taken my first dose of Lexapro, hoping this works! I've never faired well with tablets

[LouiseAndy]

So, today was really hard. I got dumped for going on meds, I don't think it's really hit me yet. It was a long term thing and he was a great support but I guess enough is enough sometimes. I know I can be a burden, so I can't complain to much.

The meds are rough, I didn't get any sleep last night, It's been a whole week since I got sleep.

I had a ecg and yet I still feel like I'm going to have a heart attack or something.

I just want to sleep, I just want to do alot of things, I broken down to my therapist and she's trying to help me rebuild myself but god I feel so lost and I'm in dead of consonantly feeling like my heart gonna give out.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Louise,

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment If you feel it best not to be here then that's totally ok but if you need this place it's here for you too.

Your BF calling you that is obviously ignorant but only you guys know how the relationship is and in times of stress we all flip at people. However, getting dumped for going on meds is stupid on his part as you are trying to help yourself. Maybe it is his way out? Maybe it's too much for him and, whilst that's awful for you as you need all the support you can get, you will get yourself sorted and other relationships will happen (and a more understanding BF may be on the horizon for you). In times like this the strength of relationships is highlighted so perhaps he's just not the right guy for you and perhaps that's more about him?

Yeah, I think we all would understand that feeling of being useless as an adult in this situation. I'm older than you but had to ask my dad to take me to the doctors to get myself some help. But perhaps we need to forget about this stigma side of things and remember that's what loved ones are for? If it was something physical wouldn't we get support from them? We may even take them with us for support.

As for the helpline, as others have said it happens here too. We once had a support GP for the area (not one of our own) sent out by our helpline and he was quite negative about the poor quality from them. The paramedics were sent for my mum because she was having back pain and being elderly with asthma they obviously take no chances. But they told my brother she was having a heart attack (after 20 minutes on the phone!) and when the paramedics turned up they had something totally different recorded as the reason they were sent out. This was when the doctor turned up and was a bit annoyed at them.

They tend to get heavy on the legal side and send tons of people to A&E. In your case this was a really big mistake as it would obviously scare the life out of you at a time when you are already in that state.

[LouiseAndy]

Louise,

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment If you feel it best not to be here then that's totally ok but if you need this place it's here for you too.

Your BF calling you that is obviously ignorant but only you guys know how the relationship is and in times of stress we all flip at people. However, getting dumped for going on meds is stupid on his part as you are trying to help yourself. Maybe it is his way out? Maybe it's too much for him and, whilst that's awful for you as you need all the support you can get, you will get yourself sorted and other relationships will happen (and a more understanding BF may be on the horizon for you). In times like this the strength of relationships is highlighted so perhaps he's just not the right guy for you and perhaps that's more about him?

Yeah, I think we all would understand that feeling of being useless as an adult in this situation. I'm older than you but had to ask my dad to take me to the doctors to get myself some help. But perhaps we need to forget about this stigma side of things and remember that's what loved ones are for? If it was something physical wouldn't we get support from them? We may even take them with us for support.

As for the helpline, as others have said it happens here too. We once had a support GP for the area (not one of our own) sent out by our helpline and he was quite negative about the poor quality from them. The paramedics were sent for my mum because she was having back pain and being elderly with asthma they obviously take no chances. But they told my brother she was having a heart attack (after 20 minutes on the phone!) and when the paramedics turned up they had something totally different recorded as the reason they were sent out. This was when the doctor turned up and was a bit annoyed at them.

They tend to get heavy on the legal side and send tons of people to A&E. In your case this was a really big mistake as it would obviously scare the life out of you at a time when you are already in that state.

Hi Terry,

Thank you so much for taking the life to reply. I'm truly feeling lost and alone at the moment.

I feel guilty for panicking my Mam so much, that I'm not in a better place for her. That I should be in a better place after all this time I have spent going to therapy and such. My Mam has her own issues, I feel like I'm such a burden to her and wish I was so much better for her.

As of with my ex, I can say I understand. He had go through alot of things with me, maybe he didn't phrase it the best way but I think everyone has their limit and he reached his. After dealing with me and my issues for so long, I guess he couldn't take anymore. He always said to me that I had come so far, so maybe this set back was to much for him.

I understand that they have to send you to A&e with certain issues right away, like they can't take a chance....but I feel like helpless right now. I just want to cry and cry. I feel like (I know with is very HA thoughts) everything is put down to my anxiety and I'm not being listened to at times. I just feel unwell mentally and physically. I can feel attack coming on right now.

I feel so useless- but thank you for giving me the time to reply.

[LouiseAndy]

I just want to add, I know that the center of my issues is I tried to take my life in the past so it's gets overwhelming the fear of death- but mainly that I didn't take a chance of life when I had it. That I wasted my time, so every time when I get into the panic it's like "Oh f*ck this is the end." I'm trying my best to push past it all. I'm sure a ecg can tell you alot and I'm over-thinking it all.

[LouiseAndy]

I manged to get a hour or two of sleep before waking up with a pounding heart rate. Like I was total breathless and it was scary. I manged to sit up and semi calm myself. I'm struggling Abit now but I'm not crying mess either. This is quite hard but I'm trying.

[Dasani95]

Louise -
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through all of this. I too have gone through extreme periods of anxiety. Over a period of time I learned what coping methods help me.
Exercise is one, whether it’s going to the gym or simply a walk around the block.
I also think that you sharing on this website helps, almost as a form of a journal. Being in community is great.

Please keep us posted.