Various Health Fears

[pulisa]

She's just been to the toilet and there was a whole bunch of undigested blueberries in it that she ate only lunchtime.

Does she mind you inspecting her poo, Mr L? Do you think you are stressing her out by monitoring her around the clock?

[MrLurcher]

Does she mind you inspecting her poo, Mr L? Do you think you are stressing her out by monitoring her around the clock?

Possibly, but it's not normal to poo undigested food like that, and lots of it.

It's quite obvious now it's some sort of serious gastro issue, god help us.

Thank you life.

[NotDeadYet]

It has always been a philosophy of mine while on this forum not to comment on serial posts because it generally does no good but, Mr. L you are behaving in a way that can be quite damaging to your daughter. It sounds like your partner is operating in a rational space and you should really defer to them at this moment. Continually checking her poo, asking her how she’s feeling, and monitoring her every bite is probably causing her quite a bit of stress. She’s 5 and the amount of food you listed in a previous post sounds like an adequate amount for a 5 year old to be eating. Also, non digested blueberries are normal.

I believe scass has provided some amazing advice regarding your own mental well being. There seems to be a lot you need to process and unfortunately you are projecting your worries on your children. I apologize if this is coming across and unempathetic or shameful but Mr. L, you’ve got to spend just a few moments in the present reality.

Best Wishes

[pulisa]

It has always been a philosophy of mine while on this forum not to comment on serial posts because it generally does no good but, Mr. L you are behaving in a way that can be quite damaging to your daughter. It sounds like your partner is operating in a rational space and you should really defer to them at this moment. Continually checking her poo, asking her how she’s feeling, and monitoring her every bite is probably causing her quite a bit of stress. She’s 5 and the amount of food you listed in a previous post sounds like an adequate amount for a 5 year old to be eating. Also, non digested blueberries are normal.

I believe scass has provided some amazing advice regarding your own mental well being. There seems to be a lot you need to process and unfortunately you are projecting your worries on your children. I apologize if this is coming across and unempathetic or shameful but Mr. L, you’ve got to spend just a few moments in the present reality.

Best Wishes

I agree completely. You have always admitted to a morbid fascination with illnesses but you can't project your own HA onto your young children.

[Scass]

But blueberries have skin and don’t digest well do they? I have no idea as I don’t inspect my poo. I don’t inspect my daughters either. I don’t think this is a healthy behaviour for you really. Maybe check the colour / consistency every once in a while, but I don’t think you need to pull it apart.

If you keep asking about her aches and pains you are only serving to reassurance check for yourself. It does no favours for either of you, because now every time she has a slight pain she will tell you, and you will worry and then keep asking her if she still has it, until she doesn’t and you feel better. It’s not helping her, it’s supposedly helping you - and it’s not helping you either because your anxiety is heightened. I know this because I have been through it too, and I made a very conscious effort to stop. Once I stopped it helped both of us.

Your other daughter has covid, I suspect if your daughter has a temperature then she may have covid too. It makes sense ok? Why don’t you stop catastrophising.

Your wife isn’t panicking about this because she doesn’t have health anxiety, plus she is trying extra hard to deal with a partner that panics over health related problems so I imagine she is used to evaluating the situation first.

Sometimes when I am unsure, I ask for my partners opinion as to whether I am being rational or not.


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[utrocket09]

Possibly, but it's not normal to poo undigested food like that, and lots of it.

It's quite obvious now it's some sort of serious gastro issue, god help us.

Thank you life.

Actually it can be normal to do that time and again, and what proof do you actually have that she has something serious ?

[pulisa]

We are trying to help you, Mr L. You have to stop this need to catastrophise. I appreciate that your dad's sudden and unexpected death has really traumatised you but you can't allow this distress to impact on your young daughters because they won't know how to process your anxieties and constant vigilance and it will really unnerve them.

Please consider getting some help for yourself now? For the good of your family as well?

[MrLurcher]

I know people are trying to help, and I really appreciate all the replies, especially when I'm this distressed over something.

But does anyone else not feel that my daughters' symptoms require a doctor visit? Not eating well for over a week, much more tired than usual, has had a temperature past few days too now, and possibly (although I cant be 100% certain) had a tiny bit if blood on her stool yesterday.

I am going to get help for myself. I know that I'm in a bad place and have been again for months now, and living like this is not fun for me and other people. However I REALLY do think that something is going on with her this time.

[BlueIris]

I think you need to listen to your partner.

[MrLurcher]

So my partner has just told me that our daughter woke up at 6 this morning and had diarrhoea, then went back to sleep. Not good at all, that's classic IBD behaviour.

She didn't check her poo closely for blood or anything which she should have done.

I read a few threads on netmums about young children with crohns and it's scaring me big time now. She is still looking very tired today, and has shown no interest in food since breakfast.

My poor little girl, this isn't fair. We don't deserve this after what we've been through.

My partner basically said last night she is going to have to walk away if I carry on because I'm scaring her with all my worries about my daughter, and it's affecting her mentally.

I told her I'd take a step back this week and leave them to eating times, but I'm pretty, pretty sure she has something serious going on. I just don't know what to do, nobody will listen to me anymore.

I feel like I just want to end it all now because I just cannot take this stress and worry, it's all too much. I'm not strong enough.