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Thread: Various Health Fears

  1. #641
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    I am so sorry for your loss. My mum died suddenly back in February and it's been a very tough time since then.

    It's early days for you but there are organisations out there that can help. Cruse is one of them. Don't be afraid to contact them if you need to, it's incredibly hard coping with grief on your own.

    My sincere condolences to you and your family.

  2. #642
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    Mar 2016
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    Quote Originally Posted by MrLurcher View Post
    Hi all, not sure why I'm writing on here about this, but I count people on here as my friends.

    My father passed away yesterday, 3 hours away on a trip to meet up with old friends. Suspected heart attack.

    I've never felt such emptiness, he was like a brother or best friend to me. My heart is absolutely broken, and I'll miss him forever. He's so far away right now. This feels like a nightmare.
    Mr Lurcher, I'm so very sorry to hear this.

    I lost my dad when I was 26. He was my best friend too, so I understand how you're feeling right now.

    I thought my heart would never heal, but it did, and so will yours. It just doesn't feel that way at the moment..

    If it helps any, I am reading that your dad died doing something nice? That will be of comfort to you one day..

    Meanwhile, you have to be strong for your mum, and I'm sure you will be..

    Sometime soon (if you haven't already) you'll be looking through photographs. Choose one of you and your dad and keep it close by so that you can remember the good times. I have one of me and my dad in Port Isaac in Cornwall (where they film Doc Martin). I'm about 4 years old and Dad has the BIGGEST set of side-burns ever! I look miserable but that was my standard photograph face. Dad has his arms around me and looks to be saying something to me? Most likely bribing me with an ice-cream lol. I look at it every day, and have done for 25 years. Mum's picture joined his 10 years ago, and I loved my parents so much that I want to be reminded of them every day, and that's as good a goal as I can think of..

    It won't always hurt this much, I promise..
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

  3. #643
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    Oct 2016
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    Oh MrL what an awful shock, I’m so very sorry.
    Sending you lots of love x


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  4. #644
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    May 2008
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    I am so so so sorry to hear this Mr L. You must be utterly devastated. You are in my thoughts .xxxxx

  5. #645
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    Hi all, everything just feels fuzzy right now. I just can't believe he's gone and only 5 weeks after my uncle's death.

    Sorry to hear about that Catkins, hope you're feeling better now.

    And sorry to hear Nora you lost your dad at 26, that's very young. I'm 35 now and never imagined I would lose one of my parents at this age. My dad was 65 and both his parents lived into their 90's as well as my mothers parents living into their 80's. My uncle who passed away 5 weeks ago used to always tell me what great family genes we have - not anymore. Those words haunt me now.

    I won't mention his name, but my dad was quite a well known figure within the Welsh language music and media industry and there's been news reports on TV, Radio and all over social media - hearing and seeing him is very upsetting.

    On top of the emotion, I'm wrecked with guilt. I noticed last year my dad had slowed down. Only 5 years or so ago me and him would walk up the hill by their home - its a 3 mile round walk up to the top and back. I took him out 2 months ago to get him out of the house during my uncle's illness, and he only managed to walk a 1/4 of a mile before having to turn back. I also noticed last year he had quite bad swelling around his lower legs. He was overweight at around 17/18 stone, and only 5ft 8, but there are fatter people. Me and my brother tried our best to get him to cut back on takeaways - he loved chinese and Indian, and also to try and exercise more. But he wouldn't have it. He was on 2 sets of medication for bipolar so maybe those played a part. We still don't know what happened yet though, and he's due a post mortem on Wednesday, which will also be his birthday. Unreal. You couldn't have written this.

  6. #646
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    You'll know more after Wednesday of course but just to warn you that the contents of a post mortem report are pretty stark and upsetting so you may prefer to avoid reading it and just be told the cause?

    You'll be ruminating about what you/he could have done differently but as you say..he wouldn't listen. It must be awful to endure the media's reporting of his death along with trying to cope with your own raw grief and distress. I'm so very sorry, Mr L..

  7. #647
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    You'll know more after Wednesday of course but just to warn you that the contents of a post mortem report are pretty stark and upsetting so you may prefer to avoid reading it and just be told the cause?

    You'll be ruminating about what you/he could have done differently but as you say..he wouldn't listen. It must be awful to endure the media's reporting of his death along with trying to cope with your own raw grief and distress. I'm so very sorry, Mr L..

    Is it? I thought it would just state the cause. What gets said in it out of interest? Nothing much can hurt as much as this, so I think I can handle it.

    I even want to see him before the funeral, although a lot of people have told me not to. I just want to see him and say goodbye, talk to him one more time.

  8. #648
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    No it doesn't just state the cause.

    It's your choice whether you go to see him and only yours so you must do what you need to do. If you want some private time with him to talk to him then you must go or else you will regret it.

  9. #649
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    May 2021
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    You have to do what you think is best for you at the moment. Don't feel bad for feeling bad and don't feel like you have to the strong one, you don't.

    Grieving takes a hell of a long time, you won't suddenly feel better. Just be kind to yourself.

  10. #650
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    Mar 2016
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    Re: Various Health Fears

    Quote Originally Posted by MrLurcher View Post
    We still don't know what happened yet though, and he's due a post mortem on Wednesday, which will also be his birthday. Unreal. You couldn't have written this.
    My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer on my 26th birthday and he died five months later on Christmas Day, so now I can't hear Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody without seeing my dad - life extinct.

    Life really kicks us in the flaps/balls sometimes doesn't it?
    __________________
    A thought is harmless unless we believe it.

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