Please help - blood test result is bad

[LouiseAndy]

I know it's hard and I've had times myself where I've had to wait for tests/results but sometimes all you can do is wait and carry on the best you can until the day comes. Will be thinking of you x

[pulisa]

When my daughter had severe neutropenia she had to go into immediate isolation and I was rung in the early hours of the morning by the lab.

You have got this situation completely out of proportion, Cattia. Why are you so intent on torturing yourself?

[Dying_Swan]

Waiting is always hard, and I've done similar things to you (phoning up) to seek reassurance, and then felt worse. The thing is, your GP can't say categorically you do or don't have xyz. What they can and are doing is giving you their best very-educated guess, based on years and years of training and experience. Has your doctor has told you to stay off work?

[cattia]

Thanks, no my Dr didn't mention staying off work, he offered to sign me off because of my anxiety but I don't know that it will help. My dad has given me a firm talking to and told me I have to deal with the accumulated stress that has caused this situation. He's right but of course I can't think straight and am thinking I've left it all too late or given myself cancer through being so stressed my whole life. But yeah I have to try to get some perspective. I am going to juice some fruit and veg seeing as I am struggling to eat and losing more weight.

[Carys]

Thanks, no my Dr didn't mention staying off work

...and why do you think that is ? (could it be as Pulisa said above, you have this totally out of proportion)

[pulisa]

Cattia, do you really think your Dad would have given you a "firm talking to" if he truly thought you were very ill with a blood cancer? He would be first in line to get you a second opinion and would be pushing for urgent medical attention but he knows you and how your HA presents and how you resist a logical explanation and go all out for the worst case scenario catastrophe.

You CAN think straight and have control over your HA if you put your mind to it and if you have a doctor who knows how to manage HA.

[cattia]

Thank you Pulisa. My dad doesn't believe I am ill, nobody does apart from me. I so want to believe them but the bottom line is I won't know until next week. I hope your daughter is OK.

[cattia]

Also I want to thank you all for your support. Looking back through this thread I can see how annoying I am and how it seems like there is no getting through to me. My husband is sick of me. I feel Iike I'm on my own apart from one friend who understands and my online friends. I feel very low and have even had thoughts about self harm (I won't act on these thoughts because I am aware that they are just thoughts and that won't help) but it's a long time since my mental health was that bad. I am just going to try now to make it through to next week and get the information then at least I will know where I stand.

[pulisa]

If you are reassured by the blood tests results next week will you know where you stand? What would it take for you to be reassured? I think facts are all important but I understand that facts are never facts when in the grip of HA and you can always find an alternative to "evidence" if you allow/persuade yourself to.

[Dying_Swan]

Well you're not annoying me Cattia. I know only too well how it feels to be caught up in a spiral of worry where however much people try to reassure you, you can't see the wood for the trees. I'm sure that goes for most of us on this site. You are not alone, however much you feel like that. If things feel really hard, don't forget the Samaritans 116 123.