Please help - blood test result is bad

[Carys]

We all have times in life when face uncertainty of various types, and how we deal with it is the important part. Many on here who actually have diagnosed medical problems have scans and checks all the time, its stressful but the wait simply can't be avoided. Nobody can make the blood test come sooner I'm afraid and by the sound of it they are going to do a majorly quick turn-around on giving you your results. The doctor said he 'expects it to have come back up' but instead of that you are reading into it that because he didn't say you didn't have leukaemia, then he thinks you might have it.What else can he do but offer you diazepam ? Maybe your own doctor, and I don't mean this rudely, is just so used to your HA now that he knows the reassurance will make no difference to you.

I don't know what else to say Cattia to be honest.

[cattia]

Thanks, there is nothing anyone can say or do really. I can't see past this and I don't know how to feel better. I feel like every day is a million years long and yet I am too scared to face the results next week. I keep going over everything he said. I know this is my own fault for calling in the first place. I was better before I spoke to him. He said that white cells usually go up in infection but sometimes they can go down. He said that I should try not to worry yet! I am honestly at the end of my rope with all of this. I know my anxiety has led me here but I feel like this is my lowest point yet in all the years dealing with this.

[Carys]

Have you run this all past your Mum ? She was in the appointment with you the other day, but have you told her about your call today ?

Cattia, I know this is horrendous for you right now, but lets be realistic here - if there is something that is causing your white blood cells to be low (other than the virus the other doctor quoted) then surely you need to know and have that reason treated ? Lets not jump to blood cancers here right as there is a myriad of other more likely conditions that can also cause a low white blood count - I'm no doctor but I know they range from vitamin deficiencies to autoimmune conditions, long-term infections and glandular fever with loads of other things in between. I know we can't stop you from worrying and nothing we say will make you feel better at this point, but you really have got to accept that part of getting blood tests done (the deal you sign up for) is to diagnose and treat not just to give you the 'all clear reassurance' every single time. Its the same with any sort of test or scan they don't just exist to give people the stamp of approval that nothing is wrong and all is ok and the chances are at some point in your life that something will not be quite as it should be. You went to the doctor because you felt unwell, so now the process is that they discover and diagnose why you felt /feel unwell. It doesn't mean that you have the absolutely worse case imagined scenario - and your doctor expects it should rise - but you do need them to complete the diagnosis right ?

[cattia]

She's been away for a few days but I have just text her. I honestly wish I had not called the Dr back.

[BlueIris]

What's done is done. Unfortunately, anxiety can make us make really unwise choices.

[Carys]

I honestly wish I had not called the Dr back.

Yeah, I know you were coming from the perspective of needing and wanting more reassurance, but it wasn't of course a great idea - as there was nothing else you could be told right now anyway. The 'fix' you wanted won't exist from anybody at the moment, the miracle words to make you feel better, partly because you will read into the words and bring your own fears and doubts into them.

[cattia]

I'm also thinking should I be off work now as the risk of infection must be high, what if I catch something else?

[BlueIris]

Cattia, for heaven's sake, don't do anything that will leave you to spend more time alone with your thoughts. This would be a Very Bad Idea.

[Carys]

Did your doctor advise that ? Did he say 'you are so immunocompromised that you should not go to work/see other people/go anywhere or do anything'?

[nomorepanic]

All of this stress is actually worse for you then anything else right now so you really do need to get control of that.

Think about what you are putting your body through by being so highly anxious 24x7

If nothing comes of this then you have put yourself through all of this for no reason.

Please start taking control of your thoughts and feelings right now and get on top of this.