Flying Fear How do I cope?

[Frosty97]

Hello All,

I am currently in Hungary for 6 days on holiday visiting my girlfriends family and I went on a plane for the first time in 15 years this Tuesday.

I was very nervous about flying as I HATE rides and things that mess with my balance and sense of control and being 35000 feet in the air made me feel terrified. Upon take off the plane changed direction and the feeling of the motion gave me a huge panic attack which lasted the whole of the flight. Landing was very much the same with the feeling of the plane turning to land on the runway but the landing itself didn't bother me as it does for many others. I can only explain this feeling as a vertigo when the plane turns which sends me into panic mode.

As I looked around the plane everyone seemed very calm even some on their laptops and sleeping whilst I was freaking out from the feeling of dropping and sinking, literally having a full blown panic attack next to my girlfriend. The whole flight I was just worried about the imbalance.

How can I deal with this as I need to take the 2 hour flight home back to the UK this coming Tuesday and I really want to be able to deal with it better and maybe even enjoy it.

[Carys]

I can relate entirely! Firstly huge congratulations on tackling your fear and doing the first flight, thats a great achievement after 15 years ! I wrote a post to someone else who asked for 'tips to get through' and I'll see if I can find it. I'm a freaking flier too, and I understand the feeling of losing balance as part of it - I can recall quite clearly gripping my seat, hyperventilating and looking at my husband with watering eyes, only to have him say back to me 'what ? we are only turning !'.....but I found a few things that helped me this summer. The one thing I do recall is that I found that sitting by the window and using google maps with location on (and GPS) helped me. I was able to track progress and see on the map when we were turning, so it gave me some perspective on what was happening. I was also able to engage with what physical sights we might see below us, as some form of distraction AND importantly see that we were making progress to the destination. My daughter and husband I'm sure were irritated by my running commentary 'soon we are going to be going over the ....x' but hey ho.

[venusbluejeans]

The way I see it is that you have to face it if you want to or not there is no alternative. Keep telling yourself everything will be fine and milions of people fly each week and nothing happenes to them...... have lots of things to distract yourself a film, a game anything that you normally use you to distract yourself.... and think to yourself "It is only 2 hours.... I can do that"

[WiredIncorrectly]

You got on a plane, you did the ride, it landed, and you're safe and well The only thing that went wrong was your brain getting out of control and making the whole situation seem worse than it is. Trust me my friend, I would be exactly like you on a plane, but look at the positives here.

Doctors will prescribe diazepam to ease nerves. If you really can't do the flight home you're in an EU country, so seeing a doctor over there should not be an issue. Here's some information on getting healthcare in Hungary as a tourist: https://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp...intPageId=1740

They may charge you extortionate fees for a measly 10mg of diazepam mind you so might not be worth it. And honestly, you can do this. I only listed the above as a last resort that you shouldn't really need.

Read a book. I read Lee Child books when I have to go on journeys. Lots of books at the airport. Put some music in your ears and relax.

That's about as much help as I can give. Hope that helps

[Carys]

Ok, found what I wrote in the summer, hope it helps a bit....

So, the 2 1/2 hour flight is done, there and back, and I feel pride as it was tough to keep myself together - but I can't rest on this now. I need to get more used to flying again and not leave it so many years,I don't want my life to contain fear of going to the amazing places around the world. It is the gap I've had of many years which built this into a massive fear and I will make sure that I fly again within 12 months!

Tips for anyone with a fear of flying -

1. With your phone on flight mode, use google maps and GPS and track your route whilst in the air. (you need to probably be near the window for this as I lost signal even in the middle seat) You can watch your progress over the land below, it provides distraction and shows that you are moving forward and all the time getting to your destination.

2. If possible use a much smaller UK airport to leave from, it is less stressful, feels more 'personal' and takes much less time, thus reducing the time you are sweating and panicking.

3. When you are scared of 'that noise', or the turbulence or any other strange sensation - watch the flight attendants. This worked really well for me, seeing that they were just carrying on with the roles, with no fear or concern on their faces provided the reassurance to me that there was actually NOTHING wrong at all.

[Dying_Swan]

Well done for getting back on a plane! I'm not keen either and the balance thing gets me too, so I usually make sure I go to the loo as close to boarding as possible, so I don't have to get up. I wrote the following tips to someone else and maybe you might find them helpful:


Book a seat with extra leg room. You'll pay more but it's less claustrophobic. Be aware that these tend to be exit rows and you must be in good health to sit there for takeoff and landing.

It can be worth paying for priority boarding to avoid standing in queues getting stressed.

Tell the cabin crew you're nervous when you board. They're always kind and will keep an extra eye on you. The only thing with this is they can get a bit tetchy about you sitting in an exit row, although I just tell them it's fine, and I've never been moved. Don't be afraid to call them during the flight if you're panicking about something. They can explain noises and bumps and things which seem scary if you don't know what they are.

Distraction is key. Take stuff in your cabin bag to keep you entertained, but nothing that needs much concentration. Music, magazines, puzzles etc. I've found it reassuring to download relaxation exercises before the flight so I know I have them if needed.

If you feel nervous during the flight, look at others, especially the cabin crew. Mostly you'll find they're walking about, totally calm. If I'm feeling anxious and I see the crew handing out coffees, it reminds me they wouldn't be doing that if there was an imminent catastrophe.

Avoid too much caffeine or alcohol. Caffeine can increase your heart rate, making you feel more panicky (and makes you pee more), and in my experience, booze makes you feel even less in control. Drink plenty of water as the dry air is dehydrating.

Know what's helped me? Youtube videos on flying. There are loads about fear of flying, and mostly just people's flight experiences. I think having watched them makes it feel less alien, especially when I've not flown in a while.

[Dying_Swan]

Carys, I love your Google maps hint. I didn't know you could do that. Definitely going to try it next time. Thanks!

[keta]

https://www.healthline.com/health/box-breathing
hi
I feel your pain , I did 4 hour flight in summer and my anxiety hit the roof. Above is link for some square breathing technique you can try . I do that to calm me down sometimes and also pray a lot.
I hope your flight back will go ok.

[Carys]

Carys, I love your Google maps hint. I didn't know you could do that. Definitely going to try it next time. Thanks!

The only trouble is, you do keep losing GPS at times and have to keep reloading again by holding the phone right up to the window - but that in itself keeps you busy LOL Watching that little blue arrow zip along did me a lot of good.

[WiredIncorrectly]

The only trouble is, you do keep losing GPS at times and have to keep reloading again by holding the phone right up to the window - but that in itself keeps you busy LOL Watching that little blue arrow zip along did me a lot of good.

That's genius!