Hi everyone. Does anyone else suffer with this? ^
A bit of background info... I'm female, 28 years old and I have two children, aged 4 and 6. I've always been anxious and I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder as well as OCD when I was 18. During my teenage years (from age 15 to 18) I was addicted to alcohol and cannabis and smoked cigarettes and also did cocaine and other hard drugs. I went to rehab at 18 and since then have been leading a healthy lifestyle, though I didn't quit smoking until I got pregnant with my first child at 21. I don't drink any alcohol or do drugs anymore and I eat a healthy plantbased diet, but I still often worry that I did irreversible damage to my health during my teens.
Anyway... After I had children, I started suffering from health anxiety. I am just so afraid that I am going to die and won't be there to see them grow up and be there for them. The thought of them having to grow up without a mum is just too much. I have had many different symptoms over the years and in my head I have had many different diseases... though I obviously have not been diagnosed with anything serious so far. I have tried CBT and I am on Escitalopram (10 mg.)
Lately I have been very stressed for various reasons, one of them being that I just started a new job (at a nursing home). I really like this job, but I am just so very tired all of the time. Every weekend I feel like I am coming down with the flu, but I never really do. However, these past few weeks I have felt quite nauseous, fatigued and ache all over. When I wake up in the morning around 6, I feel hot under my skin and sometimes I am sweating a bit too. I know this is not what night sweats are like, and I know fatigue and nausea are common with anxiety, but... I can't shake the feeling that it might be more than 'just' stress and anxiety. The fatigue is overwhelming at the moment. During the day I alternate between feeling hot and cold. I can't stop crying... I am just so afraid of leaving my kids. :(
I haven't had any blood tests since this time last year, as my doctor is reluctant to do them, because he feels it is not helpful for my anxiety. Last year they were all normal, though and I have had countless blood tests over the years that have all been normal. But none this year. Part of me wants to ask for new blood test, the other part wants to avoid them at all costs, because I am so scared of the results... :/ I have a doctor's appointment next week.
Has anyone else suffered with this overwhelming fatigue, nausea and feeling hot and cold - for more than a few weeks? Just generally feeling ill in a very unspecific way?
Any words of reassurance would be appreciated... I just want to feel better soon and be able to enjoy Christmas with my family. I f*cking hate anxiety.
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