As someone that suffers with health anxiety I'm really struggling with trying to stay positive for my wife. She has had a biopsy on a breast lump and has been called back to discuss the results. Having an anxious mind makes me think it's going to be the worst possible outcome. I'm really struggling mentally with the situation and feel horribly selfish.
Intermediate Member
You aren’t selfish. It’s okay to be worried. But, don’t let your worries consume to the point where your wife has to console you. You will have to be strong for her as she is probably going through a plethora of emotions. Also, you still don’t know whether it is something bad or not! It could just be a number of benign things. All the best to you guys! Please let us know how it turns out. Keeping everything crossed that it’s good news!
I'm able to keep my anxieties away from my wife, the last thing she needs is to have to contend with my crap too. The fact that a previous letter said if they need to discuss something she will go back to the consultant, which she has to next week, makes me think it's only going to be bad news. Trying to stay positive for her and continue as normal for my children's sake is exhausting and has let my own health anxiety take over. I've got armpit pain which I've not stopped stressing over for the last few weeks.
Senior Member
Hiyer Aaronoid,
I'm so sorry you are facing this worry, and yes, I can totally see why you might be thinking they are calling your wife in to discuss the possibility that the biopsy showed cancerous cells. I have responded to many breast cancer fears on this forum (I had it myself 3 1/2 years ago), and statistics bear out that most cases of recalls are for benign reasons. However, of course, with it being a very common female cancer, there are some who will sadly be the unlucky ones. I wish I could say 'oh it'll be nothing' 'it'll be fine' but we know that this isn't always the case. HOWEVER, I wanted you to know that IF this turns out to be a form of BC then for the huge vast majority of women this is treatable with modern, targeted and individual treatment plans, with a team behind your wife ensuring that she has optimum care. There is one thread on here that I began with another partner of a woman who was diagnosed, and they have just got to the end of the 'bc journey' successfully as nearly all women do nowadays. IF it turns out to be something that needs treating then you will have so much support; there is www.breastcancercare.org which has a helpline, forums, the 'someone like me' email and telephone service where they match you with someone who had breast cancer and all sorts of information. There will also be a breast cancer nurse assigned and there are local groups and many other ways that you and your wife would be supported. It is a frightening what you are possibly facing, and I hope for both of you that there isn't the type of diagnosis you are fearing, but if there is then you can and will get through it. It plunges you into emotions which are awful, but there will be a way though.
I am presuming your wife found the breast tissue anomally herself and went straight to the GP ?
There are women all around you, at work, in the supermarket, on the tube, everywhere, who have had and been treated for BC - after all you don't see 1 in 8 women disappearing from your street ;0) They are getting on with life after BC.
I am happy to continue to chat on here...
Hi Carys
Thank you for your post and the information you have provided.
My wife found the lump when she checked herself and said it was not there when she has checked six weeks prior. It is quite large, roughly and inch in size and hard. It had caused her discomfort when she lays on her front. At her appointment she had a mammogram, scan and biopsy one after the other and the lady that took the biopsy said she was suspicious hence why we are both expecting the worst.
Senior Member
Hiyer, you went to the 'one stop clinic', same as I did and had the 'full works'. Thats the best way to do it, very good practice and a very good sign for any future treatment if necessary, as it means they do things quickly and with thought to the mental health of the patient.
I am very glad your wife found this quickly, and knew it was something to get checked, as this would mean early stage treatment - which is the very best that you can do. If they said 'suspicious' then, yes, I think I would mentally be preparing myself for the fact this could be diagnosis of BC. (Sorry, it would be unfair of me to say otherwise) However, it is time to focus on the fact now that 'the worst' doesn't mean that this isn't entirely treatable and you and your wife and family will move on from this after a treatment plan is completed. Over 90 percent of women can expect effective treatment and non-recurrence, but this can vary from the high 90s to the 80s percentage-wise (there are many different types of BC actually, all with slightly different tumour markers and patterns of growth). It will push you psychologically into places that make HA seem a breeze, but it can and does make you stronger at the end. It is terrifying, but IF there is a diagnosis I promise you that this is the worst you will be feeling now and in the days after seeing the consultant - after that things settle and you start concentrating on the necessary steps to getting rid of it ! When are you and your wife due to return to the consultant ?
The appointment with the consultant is on the 26th at 10am. So still a long wait. This is due the fact that the consultant is not at work this week
Senior Member
Oh gosh, I'm sorry, that is agonising for you both - is there no way that you could ring and request another consultant sees you both earlier ? (although I have to say that my call back was delayed for 2 weeks by Easter holidays and it was blindingly tough)
My wife rang the clinic yesterday and they wouldn't move the appointment, only to delay it.
Senior Member
Oh ok. Well, you know you have the number you can call at any time to talk things through with their advisors . I made an error earlier, their new name (as very recently joined with another charity) is Breast Cancer Now.
https://breastcancernow.org/
The number is at the top of the page. To reassure you, they are there for any concerns, not just people who are diagnosed.
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