Health anxiety and waiting for biopsy results for my wife.

[Aaronoid]

Thank you Carys.

[Carys]

Its tough Aaronoid, especially if you life is filled with fears about health already, but part of living is sometimes about accepting that these things can and do happen. We all need to be thankful we live in an age of vastly improved and effective medical aid, my strength during this time was after hearing the words from my consultant ' we will sort it out'. There is of course the possibility that the results are inconclusive (depends exact location of the problematic area that the cells were taken from) or that it was something benign that just had the look of suspicious (its not unheard of there have been cases I've seen where it looks as if its definite BC and then its not), but generally if a biopsy is taken then the radiographer has sufficient knowledge of the tissues they are viewing to ascertain that something isn't right. Share, if you can, the situation with anyone who is able to offer support in real life, as this waiting game is really hard. :(

[Aaronoid]

So today we got the bad news, it's been a complete blur and a lot to take in. The nurse and consultant seem positive so that's a good thing.

[Carys]

Hiyer, I'm really really sorry (I have to say your description of the type of thing your wife had found, her symptoms, sounded so like mine that I was pretty sure from what you said that it would be this news), but there is indeed every reason to be positive. The nurse and consultant aren't just being 'false positive' with you, honestly, despite how terrifying it feels to you right now. If you want to talk through anything on here, then I am happy to do so; anything - the type of diagnosis, the treatment plan, things they told you or said, your feelings, anything..... These few days will be hard, it feels almost like the world has stopped and I can remember even going outside and finding it strange that people were talking and laughing - it all felt so alien. I assure you though that if you just let yourself feel whatever emotions you need to, and it can be a roller coaster, you will come out the other side and be ready and calmer once the treatment plan starts. Its all new , the terminology, the situation, the sudden feelings that overcome you, but please remember that so many thousands have been before your wife and are just fine.

Do remember that the breast cancer nurses are there for support, or any queries at anytime, and you have can use all the services on Breast Cancer Now too.

[Carys]

There is another guy on here, called Kestral, who I have been talking with on the forum. His wife was diagnosed quite a few months ago, and they've now come to the end of the treatment and she's discharged and are onto 6 monthly checks and she's cancer-free. I tell you this, so you realise that this is the norm

If you'd rather not talk publically on the forum, you can PM me.

[Aaronoid]

Hi Carys
Thank you again for your replies. The consultant was waiting for another test result to come back but the consultant and nurse were suggesting there may not be a need for chemo and that a mastectomy and meds may be all that is required. I thought that sounded positive. Obviously this still needs to be confirmed.
I've managed better than I had anticipated and together with my wife we seem in an optimistic state. There is lots to sort out in terms of practicalities of managing life whilst having the treatment, work, child care, finances etc. But these are secondary to the treatment.

[Carys]

HIyer,

I'm glad you've done better than anticipated, and I think preparing yourselves for the likely news was helpful (as much as it can be of course in hearing bad news). It does sound very encouraging indeed if it is a two step treatment plan, and chemo can be avoided. No radiotherapy after mastectomy ? Don't be surprised though if there are minor changes to things as you go along, sometimes after surgery they change things marginally based on the full biopsy of tumour - at the least just the paperwork giving the 'tumour stats'. Did they tell you the stage and type of BC at all, it sounds like its a hormonally driven one if they are talking 'tablets'.- or was that something that was too much to take in at the time ? I know I went back to my biopsy results much later, when I understood things better about the 'world of bc', so don't feel you have to answer that. Today has been enough in itself and will take time to process. I am very glad you are in that optimistic state, that is the right way to be, but be prepared there may be times that things get ontop of you and you find it harder to deal with the emotions - let them happen, there is no right or wrong way to feel at the moment.

On the website I sent you details of there are stacks and stacks of leaflets which are downloadable, they are the people who produce all the hospital leaflets that you are given as well. There are some you might find useful, like about 'how to tell children' if you are finding that is something you aren't sure about how to tackle.

Wish your wife well from me.

[Carys]

Sorry its just been me replying - those with HA avoid the 'actual illness' threads I'm afraid.

[katniss]

Wishing you and your wife all the best! So glad that the consultant and nurse sound positive. You guys will make it through this!

[Aaronoid]

As expected things have changed but only in terms of the type of surgery that my wife will have. Surgery is booked for the 27th so at least we can have a Xmas with our children before the treatment starts. My wife met with the head surgeon and again things seem positive. I now need to arrange time off from work whilst my wife recovers and have other practical things to sort out. Trying to stay strong for my wife and children is tough especially when I don't feel strong enough for myself.