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Thread: Big flashback after a period of being well :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011

    Big flashback after a period of being well :(

    I've been doing well lately, I've been keeping busy and have had my wobbles w/low mood and anxiety, but overall not bad.

    My car has been in the garage for 6 days and tonight I got a courtesy car.. When I got in it a certain radio station was on and there was kind of a smell of cigarettes and it was an older car, it just reminded me of some of the cars of my abusers and I had about three flashbacks, one of them was really big and real and awful. I'm a mess RN. I feel very tense and anxious. My biggest worry is that I have a busy day tomorrow and I know that once I'm triggered like this I struggle and it can take me a while to come back.

    Tomorrow AM I've got to get my big kids to childcare at around 7.45am and then my youngest to my friends around 8ish.. Then I have to get my brother and go to uni for one two hour seminar 9-11.. After that I'm getting my youngest again, working 12-4pm (with her), going home for a couple of hours and then an emotional well-being course 6-7.30pm for my son. He has some additional needs and this is a short talk for parents to help their kids. How the **** am I going to do all that when I'm so triggered? :( I don't have the physical or emotional energy to keep forcing myself to work but I owe so much money that I have no choice so feel stuck.

    I could defer my year at uni but I love it so much. Since starting in Sept I've had 4, maybe 5, moments of pure 'contentment'.. I've just felt calm and relaxed an happy and like I am where I'm supposed to be. I don't want to give that up.

    I don't know what I want to get from this post, but had to write this somewhere :( I don't want to talk to friends because I feel as though I let everyone down and have no right to come to them if I need someone. Like they'll think I only talk to them when I want something.
    If you can't handle me, that makes two of us.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2016

    Re: Big flashback after a period of being well :(

    Remember, we all have setbacks once in awhile and this all happens to us once in awhile. I just had one myself the other day. Just because you have a setback it doesn't mean you're going backwards or that they're going to continue or that you can't cope. It is what it is, you had a flashback, it sucked, you will survive. Remember, the horrible $hit already happened to you, and you dealt with it fine.
    I'm still a work in progress.
    Currently working on: World Domination

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011

    Re: Big flashback after a period of being well :(

    Sorry to hear that you're having a crap time right now.

    Do you have any trinkets or photographs you can use for grounding? My misses has a selection of small statues, toys and images that she uses to help keep her in the moment.

    It might also be worth trying to confide in just one friend to start with. It's common for people who have suffered abuse to feel a lack of self worth, but you might be surprised at just how receptive people can be once they know you need help. It's human nature to feel compassion, and doing things for people isn't a requirement for received help yourself.

  4. #4

    Re: Big flashback after a period of being well :(

    Thinking of you emma

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