Catastrophic fear (first post in ages)

[Elsa_Alkaseltzer]

Hi, everyone. I am a longtime h/a sufferer. I used to frequent some of the older boards as TheWorrier and MyWorldofWorry. Been quite a while since I posted on here. I have a new symptom that is just sending me over the edge. My hope is others have experienced it and that it’s no big deal. My fear, of course, is that’s not the case.

Apologies for the TMI: Recently, I started having small bladder leaks out of nowhere. I’m almost 40 and have two kids; the youngest is 6. I never had leaks with either of my pregnancies or after giving birth. I know it’s not that uncommon for moms to leak a little when they laugh/sneeze/exercise. But that’s not what’s happening with me. Sorry again for the TMI, but the drops just seem to come out randomly without a reason, even overnight. It’s not like I’ve lost full control; it’s just small drops. But it really is scaring me. It has triggered my OCD big time. I check constantly for drops and can’t function normally anymore. It’s impacting every aspect of my life.

I went to my family doctor. Urine cultures, a pelvic exam, a pelvic ultrasound and a transvaginal ultrasound did not provide any answers. There is no prolapse, no uterine fibroids, no obvious answers. And the ultrasound showed that my bladder emptied normally. Now I am scheduled to go to a urogynecologist, and I’m scared to death. There are a couple diseases I’ve really been fearing lately that this could be another sign of. I have other health issues, too, that have never been explained.

I’m so exhausted with worry. I can’t eat, sleep or do anything normally. I am so worried about having something life threatening that will take me from my kids.

Please no suggestions of what diseases would cause this, as I’m too fragile. I just need some words of support as the worrying and obsessing is out of control. Thank you for listening. I truly appreciate it.

[travelgirl77]

I know you are scared, but honestly this is likely to be a benign, middle life issue. When I turned 40 I swear my body was like, "Oh boy let's have some fun for the second half of your life." It is worse because of anxiety, which also reared its head as I approached mid-life. I have strange bumps and lumps, my periods are wonky, and I have a legitimate health issue that I need surgery for. All this to say that being 40 and having two pregnancies has likely changed your body and things begin to change. The Urogyno is a great person to go to and I will bet you anything that they will suggest that you go to a pelvic PT to work on those muscles. There may also be an easy laparoscopic fix in addition to pelvic therapy. We have no idea how much we engage our pelvis every hour of every day. I am confident that there is nothing at all horribly wrong with you. Do you have close female friends or family you can speak to? I am sure you will find that many have gone down this same road. I hope you find some peace.

[maryjane91]

Stress can also cause tight/hypertonic pelvic floor muscles, which can cause all sorts of problems including incontinence. It's quite common among women with stress and anxiety disorders.
Hope you feel better soon!

[Elsa_Alkaseltzer]

Thank you, both. I really appreciate your kind words. I do hope you’re right that it turns out OK.

[jojo2316]

I am 43 and I have this problem too. Random leaks, as well as “urge incontinence”. I am hoping/assuming it is down to child birth and age. What are you concerned about?

[NancyW]

Elsa.. around our 40's hormones start changing, mus les change as well.. sadly the changes are loosening, ok yep, sagging. lol

All of this could very well be just that.. a normal part of aging. Have you thought of trying kegels? I feel very sure they could help you.

I'm a bit older than you and through menopause. Looking back I see the changes that were all related to it but when going through it, every little change was a crisis. (Thank you HA)

[Elsa_Alkaseltzer]

I am 43 and I have this problem too. Random leaks, as well as “urge incontinence”. I am hoping/assuming it is down to child birth and age. What are you concerned about?

I just have a certain illness I’ve been hung up on for a while, so I have a bad habit of connecting everything to it. :( Do you leak even when there are no clear triggers? Like when you’re just sitting around not laughing/coughing etc. It’s usually so small I don’t really feel it happen, but I see the drops afterward. Hate it! :(

[Elsa_Alkaseltzer]

Thanks, Nancy. It’s so fun getting older.

[Elsa_Alkaseltzer]

Saw the urogynecologist today. He doesn't think it's anything serious ... just from having kids / getting a bit older. Although he did admit my presentation is atypical since that kind of leaking usually happens with coughing/sneezing/laughing/exercising etc. But he still doesn't think it's related to anything bad. He did a thorough exam that showed no issues and said he could order more bladder tests for my peace of mind but didn't necessarily think they were needed ... or I could try pelvic physical therapy first and see if it helps. So I'm going to try the latter. Here's hoping for the best.

[ErinKC]

Elsa, this literally just started happening to me a few weeks ago! I do have very large fibroids, so I mostly blame them, but I keep track of those and nothing has suddenly changed with them. I'm 36 and my period has gotten wonky and hormones are definitely starting to get out of whack. My leaking can just happen randomly, too. When it first started I was hyper-focused on it too since I was worried about it when I was out of the house, but now that I've stopped thinking about it all the time I don't even notice. I've noticed that it's a bit more common right before my period, so that why I think it's either hormonal or the part of my cycle affects where my fibroids press. Either way, I'm glad the doctor said you're in the clear!