So I been having bad reflux acid. I appeare to get it when I drink my favorite juces! lemonade. I been watering it down to take some of the acidity out though. It still gets me though. I woke up with a irritated throat today, somewhat stif neck the neck thing is gone but throat is still a little irritated. When I got up out of bed I felt weired like Im in a dream or something and freaked out! my ears are clogged a little although I was still able to manage mixing a record I was working on. I worked on my music partially to try and block out the anxiety, and to do something to keep me busy. It is less noticeable than when I fisrt got up earlier I woke up about around 9. It is 12 here now. I had some patches of emotioning/catastrofizing/crying thinking negative things are going to happen and it doesn't help its a cloudy day. I just keep worrying I will get very ill and have a severe illness and that whatever I had will turn into some dangerous thing! I don't feel like vomiting or anything I had a mcdonalds burger and some orange juce my mom and sister woke me up with this morning haha. Honestly probably wasn't too much a good idea to have the orange juce. I am worried I will develop a stricture for neglecting to take my PPIs and will have a rupture or internal bleed cause of this thing! When I go to equalize my ears (nose trick,) I hear a squeaky noise! WTH is going on with me Im so worried! I feel the weiredness in my head and everything, but not exactly feeling sick. My anxiety kept spiraling out of controle! It will say "you will be fine." then it will synthesize these other horrible posabilities like "you might have brain aneurism, tumour, some rare uncurable thing!" arrrg! Im so angry at this stupid anxiety, angry for having to suffer from this reflux, and angry for having my OCD on top of all this!
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