Hello there!
Honestly, I don't know how to begin this...
I am in my mid 20's, and I have been suffering from anxiety (particularly health anxiety and OCD) throughout my whole life, basically. I am an extreme introvert, too, and I can go for days without going out of my house. I still live with my parents but I have done a lot of freelance work in the last years. Because of my anxiety, I have not been able to hold a job more than a year. I just stopped showing and I was constantly calling in sick.
Sometimes I am afraid that I am just lazy and unworthy. I don't think I could ever work a full time job. I don't want to live that way, it is just too much for me.
Currently I am working part time and even though I like my job and it is well paid, I feel like I may drop out soon. I don't drive and it is far away from home, so I have to use the public transport, here where I live it is getting cold and I am just very very anxious when I have to prepare for work. Some days I feel like just staying and home and doing nothing, and I am constantly having panic attacks before going to work. I am not depressed, I am just afraid. I don't know of what, exactly. The whole process is just too much for me at the moment.
I have a bachelor and a masters degree, currently I am working on my PhD. I really enjoy going to lectures and I feel fine there.
I can say that the only thing that I enjoy is academic work and research, but it is hard to find such a job here nowadays.
Please help. I know I will have to work some day but I just wanted to get this off my chest...