Flappy, tube like growths above vaginal/urethral opening

[itsmaliasheart]

First of all, you are not annoying! You have health anxiety and this is currently your focus. I get it. Im exactly the same. It’s so hard to fight and google makes it all so much worse.

I reslly think you have vestibular papillomatosis but understand your concern as they do look like odd growths. As I said previously I have two skin tags as well as these, most sites say skin tags are benign. They can very rarely turn cancerous but most of the time they are not. You would also have some indication as they would become bigger and more painful etc.

You’ve got your appointment in less than a week. Stay strong! Xx

Hi! I’m so happy you’re still replying to me!

Rationally speaking, I know it’s probably VP or just how my skin naturally looks and I’ve only just noticed it. The moment I think that tho, I start focusing on the ring of skin around my vaginal opening and how one side looks rough and bumpy and torn and I can’t help but think things like “it looks so ugly it’s got to be something sinister” or some other condition that could be cancer, like VIN. I don’t remember it looking that way but maybe I’ve just ripped it with a tampon or something but maybe I do have something to worry about, you know?

Everyone keeps saying that I’m too young for it to be something bad, but I just can’t stop thinking that I’m that one person that’s getting cancer at that age.

Thank you for your support, I really, really appreciate it!

[Unicorn1985]

I understand what you are saying. I think exactly the same way and then I spiral. My vaginal opening looks ugly too lol. As I said one side much more lumpy and bumpy, like flappy bits of skin but dr said it was fine. It’s so hard to stop those thoughts creeping in. Even since seeing the dr about my skin tags my brain says what if she’s wrong, what if it’s the start of cancer. My upper back is aching especially on one side, I think metastasis breast cancer. I’ve got some lumps come up under my armpit, my husband adamant they are blocked hair follicles. I’m thinking again breast cancer. The cycle seems never ending.

Are you having any counselling? I’m on a break from mine as I felt it wasn’t really working anymore. Do you know what started your health anxiety? X

[itsmaliasheart]

I understand what you are saying. I think exactly the same way and then I spiral. My vaginal opening looks ugly too lol. As I said one side much more lumpy and bumpy, like flappy bits of skin but dr said it was fine. It’s so hard to stop those thoughts creeping in. Even since seeing the dr about my skin tags my brain says what if she’s wrong, what if it’s the start of cancer. My upper back is aching especially on one side, I think metastasis breast cancer. I’ve got some lumps come up under my armpit, my husband adamant they are blocked hair follicles. I’m thinking again breast cancer. The cycle seems never ending.

Are you having any counselling? I’m on a break from mine as I felt it wasn’t really working anymore. Do you know what started your health anxiety? X

Yeah, I’m also afraid of my appointment because I just know that even if she tells me everything looks fine (she’s had cancer herself so I trust her to know what she has to look out for) and sends me home, I’ll spend the next few weeks thinking that maybe she’s wrong. I’m glad you have your husband to give you a reasonable explanation as to what could be going on. I feel like that means you’ve got support from his side? My family is incredibly patient and supportive of my health anxiety and always encouraging me to think positively but I live a couple hours away from home and don’t always have that access which is why I spiral so easily.

I’ve been to therapy last year but had to stop when I went away for college. If my appointment next week goes well and I’m healthy and not cancer-ridden, I’ll definitely try to find a therapist in the city I study in. I think my health anxiety has always been a struggle for me. I remember being very young when it first started and then it just stopped for a few years and then came back full force about two years ago. It’s been up and down since then but this time is probably one of the worst state of mind i’ve been in since the brain tumor fiasco two years ago. I’m just really tired.

And for your breast cancer worries, I tend to get painful lumps under my armpits a few days after shaving or if I haven’t shaved for a longer time than usual. And they’re not even painful all the time, funny how I don’t worry about that being cancer right? How weird is our brain?

Hope you’re well, x

[itsmaliasheart]

I’m just swinging by to say that my appointment is tomorrow morning and naturally, my nerves are on fire.

I’ve been trying to keep myself busy and distracted and it did work, I guess but I did have moments inbetween where I looked up any kind of cancer revolving around the vagina and I’m just very sad and very tired.

There’s been this slight stinging from time to time that appears randomly and leaves as fast as it came on. I also got some watery discharge and what appears to be the remains of my period, which ended on monday. My bumps still look the same, they don’t itch or burn but they do get a little irritated if I poke at them for too long.

I’ve only ever been to my gyno for talks but I never got looked at so I’m just very scared that she’ll take one look at my vagina and/or cervix and say “yeah that’s cancer”. I’m trying to think positive thoughts but I just feel like I’m falling and all through the week there have been triggers everywhere and I can’t help but feel like the universe is sending me signs that it is, in fact, cancer and I know that sounds crazy but that’s what my mind has been telling me.

I keep going through all the different scenarios in my head and I just keep hearing her say that they’ll need to do a biopsy and further tests and I’m just so worried I can barely eat.

I’m sorry if I’m annoying anyone, I guess this thread became the platform where I can just write down my worries. I’m sorry!

If anyone’s still reading, hope you’re doing well, x

[Unicorn1985]

Sorry I thought I had replied to your last post.

Its natural to be nervous about the appointment even if you didn’t have the vp. It is nerve wracking the first time but you will be fine. Deep and steady breaths help with the nerves and if she does an internal with a speculum take a deep breath as she puts the speculum in. It will stop you from tensing as it will be uncomfortable if you tense up. So nice deep breath as she puts it in but I’m not sure given your age she will need too, I think she will look and say it all looks normal. Thing I’ve learned is that no two vaginas look the same, so you can’t really compare with any that you’ve seen online.



The stinging is likely from you being hyper aware of the area. I’m panicking about my skin tags again and I’ve been feeling funny on the side where the tag is on my vaginal line. When in distracted I’m not noticing it so it must be hyper awareness.

Please do come back and update. I think you are going to be fine but I completely understand the fear and how anxiety convinces you that this is it, the end of the road. I’ve been like this for years now, constant “cancers” in various areas of my body, when I fixated on an area I become obsessive, I poke and prod, every thought is consumed by the current worry, I doubt myself and think the lump or area is bigger than what it is etc. The list goes on, this is health anxiety and irs really hard to live with. You are drained from the anxiety and the worry it creates.

Please also don’t apologise for seeking advice or support. You are not annoying. You have health anxiety and with that comes the need for reassurance. We’ve all been there, I constantly end up back there. This is a draining mental health issue to live with xx

[BAF18]

When I read your posts I can really empathize with you! Not specifically to vulvar cancer but so many other cancers. I know so well what you are feeling and how we get so convinced that we have a certain disease. And then when our fears are proved wrong by testing, it's so easy to start doubting the doctors. I've "had" so many diseases throughout the years and so far none of my fears have proved to be true. Just know that I am thinking of you and said a prayer for you.

[itsmaliasheart]

Hi guys!

I just got back from my appointment. My doctor took one look at my vagina opening and went “that’s just your hymen pls it’s not cancer at all” followed with “this all looks normal to me” and then she stumbled upon those finger-like structures that could be VP and asked me if I’m sexually active, if anyone touched me down there and if I got the HPV vaccine and let me tell you, I just started crying because I immediately believed i had HPV without ever having sex, however, she said that it maybe looks like a wart but she counted 3 and only 1 stood out to her and even that one single growth thing didn’t alarm her at all as it’s “tiny“. She told me it might be warts in the worst case scenario but it’s unlikely and she thinks it’s just how my anatomy works. She gave me a cream (it’s for warts) and told me to check if I got the vaccine and if not, to get it while it’s still free for me.

I came home and immediately checked my little vaccine book and i do have a vaccine called silgard which I googled and it’s for HPV.

I’m a little worried that it’s HPV (but she didn’t recommend any other treatment aside from that one cream bc she thinks it would do me more harm than good) because she didn’t say it’s NOT HPV, but she did assure me at least five times that it’s not cancer at all and she was super sweet and lovely about it. She said “everything’s okay down there” a lot too.

She didn’t want to do the smear test because I’m not sexually active and she doesn’t see the point. She did say that I have to come back once I had sex, for the smear.

I think I’m going to lay my guns down and take this as a win. I’m a little worried it’s a wart but I’m going to try not to consume me and if my doctor isn’t worried, I probably shouldn’t be either. I guess I’m just gonna have to trust her.

I’m very, very thankful for all three of you who replied to my posts and you have no idea how much I appreciate the support.

Have a very good day and try to laugh a lot; it helps! x

[itsmaliasheart]

When I read your posts I can really empathize with you! Not specifically to vulvar cancer but so many other cancers. I know so well what you are feeling and how we get so convinced that we have a certain disease. And then when our fears are proved wrong by testing, it's so easy to start doubting the doctors. I've "had" so many diseases throughout the years and so far none of my fears have proved to be true. Just know that I am thinking of you and said a prayer for you.

I knowww it’s so exhausting, I came out of the doctor’s office and instead of being a lil happy ball of sunshine because she told me i’m fine, I just attached myself to the fact that she didn’t say it’s not HPV and I’m just angry at myself for always being this way. I know the possibility of me being a walking sex disease without ever having any kind of sexual contact is very highly unlikely and I also know many gynaecologists mistake vp for warts and the fact that she gave me a lil cream and send me on my way with a “you’re fine” should tell me to calm down and be happy that i’m not dying. The holidays are coming up and I refuse to let my health anxiety ruin another year for me, so I’m going to stop thinking it’s HPV and trust that it’s just me.

Thank you for praying for me that means so much to me! And if you even need support, please don’t hesitate to hit me up. I hope you’re well, x

[BAF18]

Well I'm glad to hear your doctor wasn't concerned! I hope that eases you're anxiety.
I just recently had a breast ultrasound for an indent in my breast, it came back clear thankfully. But I felt exactly like you, everyone was saying how great it was and I was thinking "well what if something was missed" and wasn't as happy as I felt I should be. Anyways, all this to say that if we let it, health anxiety can ruin our lives!
Be blessed and have a very Merry Christmas!

[Unicorn1985]

It amazes me how many Drs, especially gynaecologist that mistaken vp for warts or don’t know what it is. It’s a normal part of your anatomy. Good thing is it doesn’t resemble cancer and I honestly don’t believe for one second if you never been sexually actively that you have hpv. I really hope you can put this to bed. I bet in six months time it will all look exactly the same down there xx