Can NHS direct refer you to crisis team?

[Carnation]

I agree with Carys and Joe.
Even a little time getting up and doing something normal will help with the depression.
Stick on one of those cheesy Christmas films, wrap yourself up in a blanket with a box of tissues, the kids will be none the wiser if you cry. x

We all know how meds can make you worse before they kick in. Maybe not a good idea to try at the moment considering the way you are. x

[MamaCass]

Ankietyjoe....again not to be rude but just curious. What actually qualifies for a "crisis" as im pretty suicidal at the moment as much as i hate that word. When i had gone to A&E the last time. We sat next to a mother and daughter. After talking to the mother as the daughter couldnt lift her head up! We found out that the daughter had taken an overdose of vallium and coedine and a lot of it! There were no ambulances available so she had to get a taxi from 20 miles away and was left severely drugged in the main waiting area for 5 hours without being seen. The girl had bad mental health after the death of her own brother in march due to overdose. How can they just leave people like her in that state. The mother told us there was no mental health access for her. So what hope have i got?

[Carnation]

That's why you have to look after yourself Cass.
You've not been eating properly, sleeping properly and the meds didn't agree with you.
You need to change your routine.
I don't want to hear you were dumped in A & E to lie around not getting attention. x

[MamaCass]

I know hun. Thats what kicked this off bad again. A few days before it i was decorating my 22ft kitchen all by myself singing along to the radio. Then all this nonsense started again x

Cass, you cyst has gone now, that proves it wasn't what you thought it was. x

[ankietyjoe]

Ankietyjoe....again not to be rude but just curious. What actually qualifies for a "crisis" as im pretty suicidal at the moment as much as i hate that word. When i had gone to A&E the last time. We sat next to a mother and daughter. After talking to the mother as the daughter couldnt lift her head up! We found out that the daughter had taken an overdose of vallium and coedine and a lot of it! There were no ambulances available so she had to get a taxi from 20 miles away and was left severely drugged in the main waiting area for 5 hours without being seen. The girl had bad mental health after the death of her own brother in march due to overdose. How can they just leave people like her in that state. The mother told us there was no mental health access for her. So what hope have i got?

The hope you've got is that a lot of what you're suffering is self made. That's not to be critical, but that's how it works for a lot of us (myself included at one point).

Checking symptoms, reading Google, staying in bed and convincing yourself you have cancer, that's all on you. And that's what YOU need to change.

Telling yourself there's no hope, that's not helping. Anecdotal comparative stories aren't helping either.

Trust me, I know how bad you feel because I've done exactly the same thing as you, but try and listen to people who have recovered from it. At it's core, HA is a habit that you have the control over to break. It's not easy, but start now.

Why not order a pizza tonight and sit up and watch a film with the family? Your heart may be pounding, you may feel like crying, but do it anyway. Honestly, this is the only way to break the habit. You break habits by doing something different for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks, until your brain gets it.

[Carys]

Cass, I'm going to cut to the chase here. I don't think you do 'want to die', I think that voice is actually one of complete desperation at how anxious and low you are and the total fear you are experiencing (I know it well, where all that is left is a feeling of primal pain and a feeling of complete entrapment in your own world of extreme suffering). I think you want a way out and that voice is crying out for help and doesn't know how to get it hence the talk of 'doing something to yourself'. You are scared of cancer and dying, and you certainly want to be alive and well. You know life can be better, you know things HAVE been better, you love your children and want to be with them now, today and in the future. Not being here at all isn't a way out, you actually are very aware of this, So -

- if you feel as bad as you do today, and desperately want some help (and I'm not denying you do feel a complete mess today)- get your husband to ring the surgery, get him to take you and go and discuss/advocate alongside you ? OR If you don't want to do that and if you think you are able to take some steps on your own, small ones, and get up and do something to get yourself moving, active and engaged, then do that. It doesn't matter what it is, stand in the garden and breathe in some fresh air for 5 minutes). Go and eat something small, anything (your blood sugars will be low and causing anxiety alone!) - a banana, a couple of biscuits, anything. PLan to sit and watch a programme, I recommend the new David Attenborough on catchup, tonight with everybody else.

This will pass. It sounds like, from what Carnation is saying, some recent medication has destabilised your thinking very recently. You know we are all here, round and about to help you through this blip

[MamaCass]

Thanks. Appreciate it.

[ankietyjoe]

Thanks. Appreciate it.

If you can get Papa Johns where you are, they're doing pigs in blankets as a side dish tonight. There's disgusting, but also not

Just sayin'.....

[Carys]

So, whats your plan Cass ?

[MamaCass]

I havnt eaten for a week let alone a pizza. My stomach would expire if i did with my gut issues the way they are. I retch just thinking about food.

To be honest Cerys i dont have one. Will just have to stick it out. Nobody to go with me. Story of my life.