Re: 4 months lump in underarm. Muscle?
Originally Posted by
Limeslime
Thank you for replying. I don’t really think it is a lymph node...but it still feels like a small mountain protruding from my underarm which freaks me out!
I don’t think the second GP was feeling the right thing either. So the second opinion hasn’t given me the reassurance I needed
With health anxiety, you will never receive enough reassurance. Sure, you may receive some reassurance and feel really great but then your mind will begin thinking of things it may have never thought before. You will then latch on to these thoughts and the cycle begins all over again.
Trust me, I have spent the last 2.5 years working through this exact anxiety. I discovered a lymph node on my neck and went spiraling. I was constantly poking, prodding, and thinking about it. I went to two doctors who both said it was nothing to worry about. I then began looking for other lymph nodes. Lo and behold I found a huge lump in my underarm just like you. I was on a work trip in Kansas City, Missouri and instead of exploring the city and spending time networking, I was in my hotel room freaking out: poking, prodding, looking in the mirror to fully understand what it was. It was large (5 cm), completely immobile, hard and there wasn't something like it on the other arm. I spent the entire night snooping around forums just like this for any reassurance. The entire trip was ruined. You want to know what it was? A MUSCLE!!! A muscle that has been there my entire life (30 years) but I never noticed it because my brain didn't care. I was so frustrated with myself that I allowed my time to be absolutely wasted on something that was nothing.
I finally got into therapy and learned that I will never get better unless I learn to challenge my thinking. Limeslime, you need to pause when an intrusive, scary and very real thought about this lump enters your mind. You need to take several deep breaths and then you need to tell yourself a few things: 1) These are just thoughts. These are just words. These thoughts are not reality and 2) I have been to two doctors who have both said this is not threatening. You have to ground yourself in reality and facts. Unfortunately, if you don't do this, you will continue down the path of repeated doctor visits, tests and eventually madness because you will never receive the reassurance your seeking for something thta is actually nothing to begin with.
Best Wishes.
__________________
I asked myself one day, "What if I actually don't have cancer? What if I'm not really dying? Then surely I'm alive and should be living."
Not a doctor or a psychologist, just a guy who's been to a lot of them.