Wondering if anyone thinks this way.

[Golden]

I sometimes worry that a specific thing in life may not be happening because Something else really bad is coming.

For example. We have been trying to conceive a 3rd child for almost a year. It’s taking a long time. I start to worry that God isn’t giving me a child because maybe I’m going to get (or already have) a terrible disease instead.

Another example- we have had some financial hardship in the past. My husband works very hard and we are trying to rebuild our credit to buy a home and stop renting. But I sometimes think it hasn’t happened or won’t happen because something terrible will happen first. Or I think I’ll die before we ever do. And then I have a hard time focusing on working for our goal because I feel like it’s not going to ever happen anyway.

I also self-sabotaged in this way in college and it kept me from completing my degree. I would get anxious (I didn’t know what it was at the time) start thinking I was going to die young anyway so what was the point of school and then would not be able to focus or work on my goals. Would end up dropping the class because I had gotten behind, etc.

I don’t tell my husband my fears. He doesn’t have anxiety and wouldn’t understand. Writing it out makes it sound irrational but when I’m fearing those things they seem totally plausible. I just want to know if this is part of GAD or if these are OCD thoughts? And if anyone else worries in such a way. Thanks for listening if you got this far. I’ve never really put it out there before.

[sial72]

Hi there
Yes, I have those kind of thoughts but I've got quite good at ignoring them, I call them "rubbish thoughts" so everytime I have them I say to myself...here come my "rubbish thoughts" again and I just make sure to get up and do things to distract myself.
I have to say though that it has taken a bit of practice to get to the point where I can manage to ignore them.
I don't know wether they are GAD or OCD and to me it doesn't really matter, it's all part of the anxious brain, that's for sure.
I hope that if you put this in practice it will help you as much as it's helped me x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Like Sial I think this doesn't have to be anything more than part of the common negative thinking seen across all anxiety disorders. It will likely come under the Magical Thinking theme in OCD but with OCD so much can be found in normal life (or anxiety) therefore it's only OCD when it reaches that point where it warrants a diagnosis as well as having the cycles involved. So, it can easily be part of an existing anxiety disorder.

I have had tons of MT in my OCD crossing into my other themes. As Sial says it takes time to change your relationship with your thoughts so that you hear them and respond without emotion. Try to see them as your subconscious brainstorming out possibilities and like in any brainstorm you decide which are worth pursuing and rule out the nonsense stuff.

So much in anxiety is about reaction. If you retrain yourself not to respond to these thoughts negatively (i.e. fear, panic, worrying, letting them suck you in, etc) and respond with positive/negative responses (learning to give them a "meh", for instance) you will find they don't have as much power. Then they may just bother you when you are already having a blip and you will again learn to adapt to that to reduce them again. I did.

As for the holding back issue, I can appreciate this too. Anxiety is trying to trap us in a false safety bubble. The outcome is a load of building irrational core beliefs about our world around us, the need to shrink back from it and big issues with ambivalence. But it's a false friend seeking to keep itself of value in your life when you don't need it.

So, when you get thoughts about not committing because what's the point remember that thinking can mean you are in the same place in 50 years time. Each week doing something means you get closer to the goal whereas not doing it because you don't know if you will get there only means you won't. You can always stop or change strategy.