This thread will probably be moved to somewhere else haha but I'm having one of my irrational fears in regards to pregnancy. I, for the purposes of my mental health (bad HA) have refrained from sex for the past (brace yourselves) 4 years. I have emetophobia which means pregnancy is a no until I can get over it to deal with morning sickness (my mom was pretty ill with me). Contraception is futile in my mind as a few of my friends have had incidents both with the pill, condoms AND even the coil. Its made me cold towards my ex partners but fortunately the ones Ive been serious with told me theyd wait (one was with me for the duration of 2 years but we did it a few times). 5 weeks ago though I met a guy I was seeing up until 2 weeks ago. Long story short, we started dating very slowly and casually then became official where we ALMOST did it. I opened up to him explaining the situation and he was an angel about it until he started to become quiet and elusive and it was becoming apparent that what he wanted was sex. The very last day I saw him, exactly 2 weeks ago today I'd had a small drink and we got into some (SORRY) pretty rough foreplay. However, I very uncomfortably kept reminding him that I was NOT ready and continuously kept asking him "are we safe?" ... without too much details, there was zero penetration. BUT there was fingering which he said was safe as his hands were clean..aaaand he did finish a few times within the space of a couple of hours within my leg and on top of.
My only worry is that Im due on today and last night I had spotting and the same today but this doesnt usually happen for two days before my period as far as Im aware :/
Im usually 10x worse with paranoia after foreplay but my anxiety has been so out of control this year that Ive had to talk to myself to STOP driving myself insane.
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