My Current Numerous Worries

[WiseMonkey]

This irrational anxiety has it's roots in the inability to be confident enough (in oneself) to discern the difference between a simple benign symptom v a serious one. In this situation common sense and the ability to 'hold still' flies out the window and panic ensues. HA then sees danger/death around every corner and views the world as an unsafe place.

HA is usually a learned/conditioned way of responding so it's familiar. More often than not it also has it's roots in an individuals upbringing ie a troubled parent (had similar issues) or a significant traumatic event in a young life.

Recognising where the anxiety (and the pattern of responding) comes from the is the first step, then reprogramming your self beliefs (and your way of responding) is the next and it's the hardest part.

Many of us with HA issues can't do it alone, many need professional help usually from a psychologist. Many of us know what to do but don't know how to do it. We need to learn how to have the inner confidence to respond to health adversity in a more rational, calm appropriate way and to feel safe while we are doing it.

Our human bodies don't run to clockwork and we can't always control what happens to them. They are ever changing in a myriad of ways and most of these changes are quite harmless, they're just blips along the way.

I hope in a small way that this will help

[pulisa]

It sounds as though your psychologist is helping you to manage your HA, WM but you have always worked very hard yourself and I think that this is essential if you want to have a better quality of life.

[helenhoo]

Thank you Wise, my parents were in a toxic violent relationship and I heard a lot of the 'fights' I believe this is the cause. Plus when my HA started, months prior a close family member was diagnosed with cancer. Since got the all clear but I at the time I was positive for this family member, it was only months after my HA started when I received my first smear test letter.

[helenhoo]

I have often said I wish I could ungoogle. My friend has had dodgy periods for months and isn't slightly fazed. If that was me I'd be in doctors the next day. I worry I'll l never get to the logical side again. Without sounding defeatist I don't see how I can stop this irrationality and it worries me for my child.

[AntsyVee]

Did you put a sign by the computer like I told you to?

[utrocket09]

I have often said I wish I could ungoogle. My friend has had dodgy periods for months and isn't slightly fazed. If that was me I'd be in doctors the next day. I worry I'll l never get to the logical side again. Without sounding defeatist I don't see how I can stop this irrationality and it worries me for my child.

The thing is Helen, if you continue down this path, you are teaching your child to be afraid of every little health sensation. Anxiety is seen to be genetic.

[ErinKC]

I have often said I wish I could ungoogle. My friend has had dodgy periods for months and isn't slightly fazed. If that was me I'd be in doctors the next day. I worry I'll l never get to the logical side again. Without sounding defeatist I don't see how I can stop this irrationality and it worries me for my child.

What happened with your CBT? I still don't understand how therapy works in the UK. Is there an option to just find a therapist and go to them? I was just as bad as you and therapy did wonders for me. It's not cheap here, but it was essential to my health and the wellbeing of my family so we put it on a credit card. Sucks, but that was certainly better than be being debilitated with anxiety. It wasn't even CBT, just talk therapy consistently over many months with check ins. Then I realized I really need to go consistently so now I still go once a month even when I feel fine.

And what about medication? Your anxiety is severe but it's an illness with a cure. You never seem to follow through with treatment and that's why you aren't getting back to your logical side.

[ErinKC]

The thing is Helen, if you continue down this path, you are teaching your child to be afraid of every little health sensation. Anxiety is seen to be genetic.

And yes, I got my HA from my mother. She never got over hers. She's lived with it since she was a teenager and is now nearly 67. It's such a shame and it's always pretty bad, no real breaks. Multiple times a day she mentions something she's worrying about - a spot on her arm, a feeling in her body. It's constant and it's how I grew up. My therapist told me that my mother taught me that the world is not a safe place and that even the smallest sensation could be catastrophic. This is one of the biggest reasons I've spent so much time/money getting well. And I spend a lot of time explaining my anxiety to my daughter and how it works/why there's no real danger, etc... But it's so so important to be aware of how it affects our children because they learn from us.

[WiseMonkey]

It sounds as though your psychologist is helping you to manage your HA, WM but you have always worked very hard yourself and I think that this is essential if you want to have a better quality of life.

Thanks pulisa, but I can't see her until next year, I'm on a waiting list!! These are just my understandings of HA and it's origins...as you might guess, I know what to do but am working on the how ie strategies and how to use them. I've also got bits of OCD as well!

Helenhoo My mother had a personality disorder (NPD) and had an obsession with cancer. She used to tell me about her fears and that she had stomach cancer etc and she was going to die etc. I was about 3 years old when she started this. I later discovered that it was just a ruse she used to get attention, my father wasn't interested (he'd heard it all before) so she used me (I was the eldest)!! So I grew up anxious and frightened of everything and thinking that my mother would die! She was always in my face with something negative.

When I was eleven I took a book and went and hid in the bushes to get some space for myself. When I arrived back my mother was so angry, she threatened to kill herself if I ever did this again! I think this was truly the real beginning of my HA, I felt that I had to protect myself so that she would be safe. It was a role reversal where I had to be the mother and she was the child. My father was a lovely gentle man but he was no match for our mother and he didn't protect us in the way he should have. So he was negligent and she was down right emotionally and psychologically abusive.

I'm not relating this for sympathy but just to show how crazy dysfunctional parent/s can affect/ruin their off springs lives. Luckily for me (through my teaching) I'd learned not to show anxiety around my children so they don't suffer from HA, but they do have some OCD (which they both know about)!

ps. My mother died last year at 91 (of old age) !! She drove all those rest home nurses crazy with her perceived ailments such was her need for attention

[lofwyr]

Very true, I've been a licensed cosmetologist for 40 years, we have loads of training in diseases and disorders of the skin, hair and nails. Nails and hair become porous the older they get. This is normal from daily wear and tear, because of the porosity both can absorb stains from various things, most common for both hair and nails is yellow. But why would I bother to explain that to Helen when she doesn't appreciate or accept the help?

If I am honest, I didn't see who the original post is from or that there were already three pages of responses or I likely wouldn't have bothered.

Not trying to be cruel at all, just noting a lack of response to anything I posted in the past.