breaking down

[tommy1982]

Valium helped me through a very rough patch last year around September and October, I however stayed on a low dose,
I stabilized on typically 2mg for at least 3 months up to August. I then slipped with a big panic episode and have been
fighting to stay on 4mg.

I just slipped again, this week I got a lot of stomach problems, 10 days into being on 4mg, my stomach was on fire and after that
it was constantly bloated, im obessed by it, I think I am going to go to A&E now to have it checked, I believe it could be benzo belly
but i dont think I have pooped in two days so I am extremely paniced.

I even updosed to 15mg of valium which normally really really relax me, I guess they have not kicked in yet its been about 3 hours, I went to
go to bed and I was tripping left to right like I had a temperature

So paniced, so costly to go to A&E really hope I get over this blip and its not something serious or something that runs through the christmas.

I have been on effexor 10 years it was working very very well , messing with valium helps when you go through a rough patch but its so so impossible to get off.

[tommy1982]

went to the doctor yesterday, between taking Solvedine (codeine) and immodium I bascially slowed down my bowl after a bout of heart burn from taco at the start of the week. he gave me a laxitive, as soon as i took it, i had a stool and another this morning.

I am still waiting for the valium to kick in 20 mg yesterday 10 mg today, still very very anxious obsessed about my stomach, just keep thinking what if the valium doesnt work this time and I am left suffering over the Christmas, scarey times, i hope i have not caused effexor poop out, i guess its less than 24 hours since i took the first dose of valium so maybe it just takes time to build up and work.

[tommy1982]

Its sunday evening now, my anxiety was still with me all day questioning and worrying if the valium will kick in, although I am on the coach here relaxing while typing, i guess its not all bad, Please God the valium kicks in and my stomach goes back to normal, I am sure it will all be fine.

I promise next year I will boot that valium I have wrote down a plan and will stick to it, I also came down on the pain killer i am hooked on, i wont feel it due to the valium. Anyway just updating so i can look back at this.

[keta]

Hi Tommy
does the anxiety give you upset stomach and Valium settles it , is that correct?

[tommy1982]

getting really worried now, saturday night i started taking the valium regular doses and its not kicking in like it always does, he has always got me out of the deepest anxious hole, todays tuesday very very uncertain now,

the reality of them not working leaves me with only scarey opitions, talking to a pdoc about the med that has had me stable (effexor for 8 years)

one thing thats a big plus is the anxiety gives me breaks so i get random hours of being out of breakdown mode, in the past anxiety holes have been constant with no rest bite,

its all very confusing and a terrible time of the year for all this to be going on, i still hope if i keep on the valium for a few more days it will fix my anxiety .. if not its going to be a interesting start to the new year, scarey, with lots of messing with my doctor with new meds and no douth months of withdrawal :( :(

[tommy1982]

Thursday morning, have spent Saturday on the valium, its not putting me into recovery.

In very uncharted territory as any blips in the past the valium got me out of the hole and the effexor kicked back in.

Will start reducing the valium on Monday as at that point its not working, and I dont want to end up hooked on it.

the mornings are the worse , when I wake up and have to get out of bed to face the day, later in the day I do tend to get moments of calm, the evening I do get calm I think thats getting me through all this that calm to let my mind rethink and build myself up to get through the situation.

i have reached out to many doctors for help this time of the year is not great as everyone tends to go on holdiays.

getting phobias some pink in my spit in the mornings for example, (health anxiety) probally from the red die of the pills im taking being in my mouth

my other half has been very bad with anxiety also so I am really concerned about her.

After working hard all year I was looking forward to Christmas with my children what a diaster it has turned out to be.

I will battle through, again the periods of calm are helping a lot. what's the next step ? I guess hang in there to see a pdoc and hopefully upping my effexor fixes me, if not they will want to do a med swtich, scarey scarey prospect as effexor is nasty to switch from.

have to be very cautious I dont stay on the valium for too long as detox from a high dose would be a nightmare.

Pray for me and my family its a though time.

tommy

[WiredIncorrectly]

May I ask, are you self medicating with the Valium?

I've had many experiences with benzos. I'm on valium right now. 2mg. Been on them for 7 months now and I sometimes have to self medicate because the mental health team refuse to move me up from 2mg.

the mornings are the worse , when I wake up and have to get out of bed to face the day, later in the day I do tend to get moments of calm, the evening I do get calm I think thats getting me through all this that calm to let my mind rethink and build myself up to get through the situation.

I'm on a small dose, but read my latest thread here. It's literally about not being able to function in the morning. I do think this is a valium thing. Benzo belly is real. I have it now because I haven't taken my valium yet. If I don't take them within the next hour or 2 I'll be an anxious mess and back to square one.

I've had to cold turkey from lorazepam after 6 month. Hell mate. Absolute hell.

I've come to the conclusion that if I need to valium to feel normal than fk it. So be it. Life would be worse without it for me. Whenever I run out of, or refuse to take, my valium my partner has to call my family to let them know so everybody can be prepared for the hell ride. I tend to take everybody on my hell ride with me.

I've been on effexor. They didn't work for me. I'm now on paroxotine. Seems to help, but in terms of withdrawal and side effects they're worse than any other SSRI I've been on.

[WiredIncorrectly]

The reason why I asked if you're self medicating is because if you're doc is giving you 2/4mg and you're taking extra this is going to increase your tolerance making lower doses not work. This can happen fast. Been there lots of times.

[tommy1982]

yes i am self medicating to get through the christmas, as recent as june july august i made it down to 2 mg :( but then slipped

ive decided to take 20 mg for 4 days, so tomorrow down to 15 mg for a couple of days then down to 10, then to 5 to get closer to by phibscriped amount, they did help after the mornings from 2pm to allow me live a normal day, but the mornings where still bad

its very upsetting, i cant stay up on them, as you know being hooked on a big dose would not be good ......... :( :( my only hope is the effexor kicks back in and works again

everyone around me i using the "dont self medicate" term, so i am going to stop, but theres no help at all availible until next year, so i guess just suffer and get through it until then and get the valium back down, so they dont try and wean me off it quickly



from december 1st to about 14th I had been on 4mg of valium, so only up dosed since last Saturday, normally up dosing for a week gets me out of any hole, it didnt , it did make the afternoons and evenings a lot better.

[tommy1982]

So I disappered off here december 21st because my anxiety went!! Guess the valium or effexor up kick in, ive gone back down on the valium to 5mg, its day 6 now and the anxiety just came back, so going to battle through it for a week and hopefully my valium dose will stablize and the anxiety will lift again. One thing for sure I will be keeping to the 5mg of valium for a month and not going up , no way am I ending up hooked on a high dose.

i should be so grateful i got through the festive season and new years literally care free!