Incredibly stressful few weeks = Anxiety Surge!

[ErinKC]

Ugh, you guys. It's been more than a year since my anxiety was bad. I've been in regular therapy and doing great. I started law school, which was SO good for me because it gave me purpose again (I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years and my daughter started Kindergarten this year). But, the last few weeks have done a number on me!! The end of the semester was tough - I had a really hard paper to write that was all consuming. Then, it was finals week. Right in the middle of studying, my 5 year old got sick with an abscess in a neck lymph node that ultimately put her in the hospital on IV antibiotics for 5 days. I took one final the night before she went to the hospital but was able to defer the second one until this Tuesday, thankfully. But, the hospital stay was REALLY HARD. No sleep, seeing my girl in so much pain, etc... \

In the midst of this, my fibroids seemed to act up. It may have been stress related, but I have a ton of large ones and I had a lot of pain and pressure that is finally now subsiding. But, the last few days I've had so much head pressure/fogginess and get lightheaded when I stretch my body out (like stand up and stretch my torso). I used to get that dizziness with stretching until my fibroids went nutty and flipped my uterus over (long story) in the summer. I hadn't even though about this until I noticed the sensation again this week.

I've got myself worrying that my fibroids shifted position against and are pressing on something that's causing this pressure/dizziness. I know the most likely explanation is obviously anxiety, though, but these fibroids are a constant nag at me. In 2011 I had a giant one become necrotic and require emergency surgery. This trauma made me terrified of surgery but also anxious about just doing nothing with the fibroids. They stayed small for many years and just started growing this past year. They are such a pain in my ass!!

Anyway, I'm frustrated with this anxiety surge because I've been so good for so long.

I'm not sure why I'm posting, haha. Just for some good vibes and commiseration. It sucks that no matter how hard we work this beast is always lurking!!

[LouiseAndy]

Aw hun, I don't have alot to say- besides you've been doing so well. I can understand the feelings of frustration- as I go through it myself. All I say is try to be kind to yourself also, my thearpist said to me once the harder you are on yourself, the harder it can be to get back on track x You've had alot happen in such a short period of time, I'm sending you lots of sportive thoughts for you and I hope your daughters is up and about in no time! Kids can be mad tough when it comes to stuff like this!

[Sparky16]

Wow, having all that happen is enough to make anyone anxious. I hope your daughter is feeling better. Do you get a few weeks break between first and second semester? I agree with LouiseAndy that you need to be kind to yourself after all that.

[Worrywart1234]

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard tine of it at the moment :( I just wanted to say that it happens to me too. My health anxiety usually goes out of control when I have stressful things happening in my life. My psychologist said to me that people with health anxiety are like trucks that are trying to drive on 3 cylinders instead of 4. When everything is easy, like on a flat road, we look like everyone else; but as soon as the road starts getting steep and we are dealing with stress, that’s when anxiety starts to creep in and start affecting your life. It’s certainly true for me..

[Scass]

I suspect that you’re just sort of coming down from the anxiety rush, and subconsciously finding new things to stress about. It’s a very stressful time of year too.
Obviously you know your body, so just be vigilant but hopefully everything will calm down soon x

[ErinKC]

Thanks everyone! i'm feeling much better now after a few days of good sleep! I also finished my second exam today and now have a nice break until January 13. My fuzzy head was a combo of exhaustion, stress, and sinus pressure. Once I took an allergy pill, some ibuprofen, and got some sleep it disappeared!

And yes, Scass - it's like inertia. I was running on so much adrenaline in the hospital to keep myself going that it took a few days for all the stress and exhaustion to catch up with me. It kind of hit me like dominos falling for a few days after we got home. Now that things are more settled and I've had time to breath I'm finally feeling like normal!

[ErinKC]

I cannot stop having panic attack this week, guys. It starts with this prickly, and tingly tightness in my face, then I feel like I can't swallow and my hands and arms feel stiff. This is the fourth day in a row this has happened and it's so incredibly awful. I'm not one for panic attacks even when my anxiety is bad so this is really throwing me off! I've been trying to get meds for panic attacks but my doctor's office keeps messing up and sending the prescription to the wrong place or something. Ughhhh. The panic lasts so long, like hours.

[Scass]

Erin I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Fo your practice relaxation exercises? They’re what helped me through the panic attacks xx

[ErinKC]

Erin I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Fo your practice relaxation exercises? They’re what helped me through the panic attacks xx

Thanks, Scass. I am doing my best with relaxation techniques and they do help a bit. I called the pharmacy against last night and the meds were actually there! So, I took one 0.5mg lorazepam and it helped very fast. I know that most of this is all the tension in my jaw from all the stress of the last few weeks. I'm going to try to rest my jaw as much as possible with soft foods, take naproxen every day for a few days to help with inflammation, and take an allergy pill to keep my ears clear (my TMJ often results in fullness in my hears). Today I can actually feel the aching in my jaw/behind my ear, so I know the origin. And then I start thinking about the sensation and anticipating feeling weird when I eat or swallow, and then there comes the panic!

As much as school did create some of my stress in the end, it's also bad for me being out of school. Starting law school did more to help my anxiety than anything else I've done in the past 5 years because it kept me out of my own head and gave me a sense of self. Now with my daughter sick she's been out of school for 2 weeks and now she'll be out another 2 for winter break. Sitting at home all day just leaves all the time to think, think, think. It makes me feel guilty that being a mom is an anxiety trigger... But I really need to be more intellectually active or my brain finds other places to go!!

It's always so disheartening when this happens after long stretches of being so well, but I'm trying not to let myself get too down about it and remind myself that it's temporary and I'll get through it. Having the lorazepam is also helpful because I know I have a tool to stop the panic if it comes on. Sometimes just having the pills in the house is enough to keep the anxiety at bay, or knowing I can bring them out with me and stop a panic attack if it comes on outside of my house.

Christmas is always such a stressful time in my house! Last year our cat of 13 years died (one year ago today) and the year before my father in law was in the hospital dying very suddenly of cancer. I also wonder if this time of year is just a subconscious trigger too at this point!

[ErinKC]

I'm still having such a tough time. These symptoms are bothering me so much even though I know it's anxiety. My face/mouth/nose keep twitching/tingling and my hands get stiff - like I try to grab something like a glass or my phone and I can't wrap my hands around it at first. I just keep feeling like any minute I won't be able to move my face or arms and it keeps me panicking. I was pretty good yesterday, with just a little worry in the morning but today it's come on now, later in the day. I was shopping at Target for a while and felt fine and it only started up when I came home and started to eat. I opened a can of seltzer and couldn't wrap my hand around for a second, then my jaw felt stiff when I put the can to my mouth. UGHHHH.

I thought I was better. I really, really thought I was and I'm just feeling so sad right now. My therapist is off for a bit because of the holidays so my next appointment won't be until January 7.