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Thread: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    173

    I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    This has been going on for over a week now, every day I have cried. Itís uncontrollable and once I start I canít stop.

    I donít know whatís wrong with me, it just hurts so much. I have anxiety and ocd, been diagnosed with anxiety that was making me ďa little depressedĒ when I was 13 but Iím 20 now and havenít seen another doctor for it.

    Everyday when I get up I try to enjoy the day but after a very short time I feel bad again. I have no motivation to do anything, everythingís boring. I try going out and doing stuff but itís alright for like the first 10 minutes then I just start feeling fed up and want to go home because thereís no point in it. Itís like being stuck in a black cloud, feeling nothing but dread. I wanted to go ice skating the other day with my family and was excited about it but then when I got there I couldnít enjoy it at all, just wanted to be alone.

    Every is just so much effort and I canít shut my mind up. Itís constant horrible thoughts and telling me Iím worthless and not good enough. Then it all gets too much and I start crying. I have bruises on my arms from squeezing them out of frustration. Then afterwards I just feel numb. I have moments of happiness but itís short lived to a few hours.

    I donít know what to do anymore, Iíve never felt this bad. Iím fed up of crying and Iím scared. I just visited the doctors for another reason so canít afford it again until after Christmas. Someone please help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    3,866

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    You really need to see a doctor about this as soon as possible.

    In the meantime, accept that you're not well, try to forgive yourself and treat yourself with kindness at this stressful time of year.
    __________________
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    173

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    Iíve done something stupid today and cut my arms up. Ive never done anything like this before, they arenít deep cuts just look like paper cuts. I didnít want to hurt myself I couldnít even feel it. I just wanted to feel in control of something and it made me feel calm. The only thing is now I keep wanting to do it. Iíve thrown the blades away, Iím not going to do it but Iím scared.

    Itís starting to hit me what Iíve done and I feel like Iím going to throw up. My hearts pounding and Iím dizzy. Iím going to book a doctors appointment tomorrow and I will just have to wait to pay them.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    2,087

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    Iím so sorry that youíre feeling so low. I am really pleased that youíve booked a doctors appointment as Iím sure they can suggest some things that might help.

    You can call or text the Samaritans any time of day. They might be a great source of comfort for you too x

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    513

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    KitKat99,

    I went through very similar things to you when I was your age (I'm now 38), including self-harm. You need to go back and see your doc, show them your cuts and they should start taking your illness seriously.

    I wish to reassure you that recovery is very possible. I have had a great life with brilliant friends, good relationships, lots of travel and a PhD. This doesn't have to hold you back. I have a lot of responsibilities which have caused my anxiety to flare up now and then but, with time, experience and knowledge, it's a very manageable condition and can even be turned into a positive.

    Good luck xxx

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    173

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    So things have been a bit better over the last 2 days, Iím going to book a doctors appointment as soon as Christmas is over as I wonít get one before then.

    Thereís just one thing bugging me and I donít know what to do. My boyfriend wants me to stay over tomorrow night, and heís going to end up seeing my arms or wonder why Iím hiding them. I feel really guilty because he has depression and I donít want to make him feel worse, and Iím scared of how he will react if he sees the cuts. Itís really causing me a lot of anxiety.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    1,106

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    How are you Kitkat? X

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    173

    Re: I canít stop crying every day and I donít know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrsmitchell1984 View Post
    How are you Kitkat? X
    I'm doing better now thanks, started feeling better the day after Christmas. Don't know if it was because Christmas was over or because I started taking CBD but I definitely don't feel as bad as I did. Not crying everyday like I was either. Also been trying not to let the anxious thoughts bother me as much, and relax about things which is easier said than done.

    My mental Health does have a habit of cycling through periods of depression and anxiety though so that might be what happened. Not been to the doctors about it, will go at some point just don't have the money for it at the moment.

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