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Thread: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

  1. #11
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    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Louise, listen to Pulisa because she talked me down many times just over a year ago with the very same fears you're having now. One morning after a long walk and then hammering in some fence posts, I felt a tightness in my chest. Up jumped anxiety and told me it was a heart attack. I phoned 111, they sent an urgent appt request to my GP, I was seen that afternoon. She ran a resting ECG which she was happy with. I accepted that but still didn't believe her.

    A couple of days later, blood test results came back, all normal. I still wasn't satisfied, then I got a referral to the cardio unit at hospital. They did a stress ECG plus an echocardiogram. Both normal, he even said my heart looked like it was enjoying itself. Only then was I reassured. Up until then I was 100% convinced there was a serious problem, I even had other symptoms like extreme tiredness. But it was all down to anxiety and yours will be too.

    PS - brilliant post Nora, in a nutshell.
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  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    4,185

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Hi Louise,
    I’m sorry you’re still in the middle of it all. You’re absolutely not an annoyance or burden to your family. They are probably worried a bout you but there’s nothing much you can do about that.
    Please remember that you’ve seen a cardiologist and your heart is fine, so it’s not going to be any different from before when you were anxious and now when you’re anxious because it’s doing the same as always.
    Great advice on this thread, I hope it helps.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    I hope it helps too but even if it doesn't at the moment because you are too stressed out to absorb any advice maybe keep it at the back of your mind? This has been going on for a long time and you are still alive. It will be very hard for your family to help you but you are in no way a burden-that's just your depression talking xx

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    756

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Wow, thank you so so much to everyone who replied to this. I'm sorry for not replying sooner- I was either sleeping, being dragged places for social reasons (Okay, this sounds awful now I read back on it) or I just really wasn't in the mental place to do anything tbh.

    You all make some great points, I'm in the car right now so I promise to reply more when I'm free but I wanted you all to know how thankful I am for your words xx

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    756

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Quote Originally Posted by NoraB View Post
    I've been on the cardio run-around in my time - utterly convinced my heart was going to clap out, yet every ECG or ECHO revealed a heart that was in great nick, just running on the fast side and, oh hello, I have anxiety.

    The heart will react to stress hormones but it's a very strong muscle which is designed to go fast..

    I like to do this lil test where I sit and let my thoughts go nuts. I then take note of how my body is responding and my heart will be banging away like an old barn door in a gale. Then, I do my deep breathing and I think of walking along beaches and stuff and lo and behold my heart rate comes down..

    Your heart rate will have been racing while writing your post because you are fixed on how crap you feel and you will continue to feel crap while you are hyper focused on your body. Stick the V's up to anxiety and inform it that you are doing Boxing Day whether it's there or not!

    It's your thoughts that are the culprit here, not your heart. Your heart is responding to your body's stress response - exactly what it is designed to do in order to keep you safe. It can't tell the difference between the Number 54 bus about to run you over and the 'danger' being your own anxious thoughts. Your heart is working just fine. X
    Thank you so much for the reply Nora! It really means alot to me you took the time to reply such a detail reply for me xx

    Like I think because I am kinda down and in the dumps right now, it's easier to be hyperaware of my heart rate. Like it's always been a trigger point for me- as that's how my anxiety actually started. My heart rate went up and I couldn't breath- and that was the start of my anxiety path.

    Like I know I have to believe in the results, what's the point in getting the tests done if I'm just going to go against them? I'm really going to try and overcome this- even if it's hard at the moment. It may be easier in the future with work each day x

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    756

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Quote Originally Posted by fishman65 View Post
    Louise, listen to Pulisa because she talked me down many times just over a year ago with the very same fears you're having now. One morning after a long walk and then hammering in some fence posts, I felt a tightness in my chest. Up jumped anxiety and told me it was a heart attack. I phoned 111, they sent an urgent appt request to my GP, I was seen that afternoon. She ran a resting ECG which she was happy with. I accepted that but still didn't believe her.

    A couple of days later, blood test results came back, all normal. I still wasn't satisfied, then I got a referral to the cardio unit at hospital. They did a stress ECG plus an echocardiogram. Both normal, he even said my heart looked like it was enjoying itself. Only then was I reassured. Up until then I was 100% convinced there was a serious problem, I even had other symptoms like extreme tiredness. But it was all down to anxiety and yours will be too.

    PS - brilliant post Nora, in a nutshell.
    Hi Fishman65, Thank you so so much for the reply x It means alot during this time.

    I guess it's hard to be satisfied when I'm still feeling so awful- in other ways not just the heart. I know I'm being a doubting Thomas right now. I guess I'm easily overwhelmed and need to work on this to help myself in the long run! .

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    756

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Quote Originally Posted by Scass View Post
    Hi Louise,
    I’m sorry you’re still in the middle of it all. You’re absolutely not an annoyance or burden to your family. They are probably worried a bout you but there’s nothing much you can do about that.
    Please remember that you’ve seen a cardiologist and your heart is fine, so it’s not going to be any different from before when you were anxious and now when you’re anxious because it’s doing the same as always.
    Great advice on this thread, I hope it helps.
    Thank you for the reply as always Scass xx It means alot

    I know I need to take this wonderful advice, I need to work on myself to make this all wroth it.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    756

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    I hope it helps too but even if it doesn't at the moment because you are too stressed out to absorb any advice maybe keep it at the back of your mind? This has been going on for a long time and you are still alive. It will be very hard for your family to help you but you are in no way a burden-that's just your depression talking xx
    Hi Pulisa, Thank you for all the replies over the last few days. It means alot x

    You're right, I'm still alive! I always try to remind myself of that- that I've made it this far. I think I may need another while to fully take the advice on board because to be honest my mental and physical state isn't great but I'm taking little steps every day.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    756

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    So, the last few days have been something. On Boxing day, I went with my Mam to visit my grandparents grave- it was a long drive (four hours away from my parents house). It was hard but I manged it.

    Yesterday I went over to my friends house and stayed the night- once again it was hard but I manged it! Today I went to secret Santa with a big big group of my friends. I won't lie it was very hard at some points but I manged it!

    Like I've said, my heart rate been pounding away- My Mam used uses a monitor for her own health reasons (was told to get it by a doctor). Decide to randomly test my heart rate tonight when I was just chilling on the couch- and my blood pressure was perfect but my heart rate was 119- somehow I didn't go into melt down when I saw that. I just nodded and thought maybe it's because I'm still on the tail end of sickness or my period is coming up or it's warm. I would normal cry about that, since my normal resting rate is in 80's. I guess it's hard to over come this because I can constantly without even taking it feel my heart pounding, sometimes I get horrible dizzy or like jelly legs which is hard as I'm back to tomorrow and I'm nervous about being on my feet for that long.


    I know I need to work on this, that I need to believe it that no one can believe for me.

    Thank you to everyone again who's taken the time to write or even read this xxx

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: Feeling a like a burden during Christmas

    I think you have to resist the compulsion to test your heart rate, Louise. Ask your Mam to help you with this even if it means her keeping it in a safe place where you can't get access to it. You don't need to test it-you need to trust your healthy heart xx

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