Having a blip about bowel cancer

[Chris1985]

Hi all, I was on this site quite a lot a couple of years ago with a few worries over various cancers - obviously it turned out I was fine after pushing for various tests. Since then I managed to address my HA issues and have been doing great - I actually looked back on how I was and cringed at my actions when I was in the depths of my worries.

Unfortunately the last few days I've somehow managed to fall back in to the hole. I'm not on here for reassurance as I'm booking a doctors appointment in the morning when they reopen I'm just here because talking about my HA helps me.

I have been getting restless legs in bed the last couple of months and some palpitations, then since monday I've been absolutely drained with zero energy and the feeling like you can't grip etc - feels like a really bad hangover essentially. For the last few months I've also had on off mild tummy pains but I've kept all of that in check with my HA. I made the mistake of googling - which I thought would bring a solution to my problems but it pointed me at iron deficiency anemia and bowel cancer - I know its stupid of me to have googled.

Anyway as you can imagine this has brought all of the old worries back and I'm in a bit of a dark place again. I'm hoping I can come out of it like I did the last time.

Thanks

Chris

[Chris1985]

I've managed to get a doctors appointment for today at 3 with my GP so hopefully after that I'll be feeling better about things. Hardly slept through the night with worry which then makes everything worse during the day.

I was at a low last night and nearly ordering self stool testing kits online, the thought of me doing one myself and getting a positive result put me off - I don't know how I would handle that.

Trying my best to keep the HA in check but its very hard work!

[soscared2]

good luck at your appoinment

[pulisa]

Hello again, Chris.

Yes you are right in that you are having a blip and googling of course is food and drink for your HA.

See what your GP has to say and go from there? If he orders blood tests then you'll find out about your anaemia status...or not as the case may be.

How was the wedding?

[Chris1985]

Hi Pulisa,

How are you these days? The wedding was great thanks, we have a little one arriving in March too! Another reason for me not letting this get to how it was last time. I'm certainly not as far down the rabbit hole as I was last time thankfully.

The GP remembered me from last time so was very good and explained everything well. He doesn't think I'm anemic from my symptoms and checking my eyes and mouth. Ordered blood tests just for my peace of mind to be sure. So will have that taken on Tuesday.

He also did a thorough exam of my abdomen etc and the bit I thought wasn't right he said was normal. Basically he said he thinks it's nothing sinister.

I did ask for setraline again as that's what helped me a lot last time and he was happy to let me have that so I'm hoping that will help too.

[pulisa]

Congratulations on your forthcoming new addition, Chris!! And I bet that he/she will be a contributing factor towards this HA blip? It's a huge thing becoming a new dad with all the scary responsibilities etc but you have certainly done the right thing by getting help from your GP now rather than after March.

I hope this set of blood tests will bring you reassurance that all is well as your GP reckons and that you're just going through understandable anxiety symptoms.

Happy Hogmanay and wishing you and your wife a wonderful 2020!!

[Chris1985]

Thanks!

I'm spiraling a bit here. Been up all night worrying about this. Even back to thinking about last time and maybe BC was what was wrong with me all along...

I'm so annoyed at myself for being back in this horrible place. I really thought I was over it but I'm sure it's real this time and not just the HA

[pulisa]

Remember what your GP said...No obvious signs of anaemia, blood tests just for peace of mind.

Everyone with HA always fears that this time it's for real..That's the nature of HA.

Knock these thoughts on the head. Get your blood tests done and don't catastrophise mild symptoms into something major.

[Chris1985]

True. I always write down what the GP says and read it back later which helps. As does when I actually run through my symptoms they aren't as bad as I'm making out in my head.

Im calm at the moment. It's at night and the morning I'm at my worst, lying in bed especially. I keep telling myself I'm only 34 with no family history of BC so it would be extremely unlikely, plus my HA history makes it more likely to be anxiety!

Looking back on how I was last time - so sure I had lots of things - makes me feel better as I was okay then

[Chris1985]

I'll feel much better after the blood test either way