Convinced I have pancreatic cancer

[Inanna]

Hi Pulisa

inknow it seems crazy, but I came across my dads letters from the hospital and it clearly said that my dad only had rib and back pain as symptoms, so it’s a bit scary. He died less than 2 months after diagnosis.


im trying to rationalise it to myself, my dad was in his eighties, an ex smoker, worked lining boilers with asbestos as a teenager, but I have just been feeling so poorly for over a month now, it’s hard to imagine it’s something less than catastrophic.


Inanna x

[pulisa]

For "came across" I interpret that as "deliberately searched for" your Dad's letter?

You need an answer for your pain/discomfort and it has to be "catastrophic". Why? I understand the fear of cancer (any cancer) but has any doctor raised the possibility of lung cancer? You were SO sure that you had PC and now this has mutated into lung cancer in the space of a few days. If you google you will find plenty of other worse case scenarios to ruminate on until the 22nd but why bother? You have your follow up with a consultant presumably so why not challenge his medical knowledge and expertise and put forward your diagnosis and see what he says?

[WiseMonkey]

As pulisa said you were seeing your GI specialist soon to find out the reason for your stomach pains so tell him/her your worries about 'lung cancer' fears. Chest X-Rays are cheap and easy to perform. Continual coughing is first sign of LC, which you don't have.

There's a couple of other members on here who are spiraling from one cancer to another and it's no way to live ... HA in both cases!

ps. as others have said before pain does not mean something cancerous, very often cancer is silent.

[Inanna]

Hi

thanks both. I think you are right, I need to get a grip on myself until Weds.

had glittery wee again today, which is unlikely to indicate a lung problem. I’m just so tired of feeling ill.

actually, it was accidental. I was looking for my self assessment login details, 30th jan is loomimg. But, really I should get rid of those letters about my dad. It’s not how I want to remember him.

thank you again, it really helps

inanna xx

[pulisa]

You probably won't get any "answers" on Weds either as I suspect the consultant will just officially rule out a PC/abdo cancer. If you push enough he may refer you to another department but now may be the time to work on your HA? I know you are convinced that there is a diagnosis of some sorts going on but it looks like whatever is troubling you is of a benign nature. I have lived with chronic pain for over 2 years now-benign pain which is still very real but I have never chased an alternative diagnosis and I'm still alive!

Good luck for tomorrow. You've had some very reassuring news-try to benefit from this news rather than leaping straight to another perceived crisis? xx

[Inanna]

Hi pulisa

so sorry to hear you have chronic pain, it must wear youdown

and thank you so much for your wise words . I had a bit better day yesterday, I was able to distract myself. Really nervous about my appointment today, as if I can’t shake off the feeling that something is looming.

you are right about crashing from one cancer to another... pancreatic/kidney... then lung, then stomach... I must try to do as you say and concentrate on the reassuring ct scan results

also, I have my first hypnotherapy session tomorrow

thank you all again

thanks

Inanna

[pulisa]

I hope that the appointment brought you some peace of mind but if it didn't I hope the hypnotherapy today will give your mind a break from constant worry x

[Inanna]

Hi pulisa

Yes, thank you

The Dr confirmed that all organs looked normal, just a little degeneration on t12.. but that's normal at my age. I asked him to list out all the organs, so liver, pancreas, splern, gallbladder, kidneys, all pelvic structures, nothing detected in base of lungs, nodes, colon or bones (apart from t12).

So, the next step is to do an endoscopy, which will be on 4th Feb. Trying not to obsess about it.

I'm feeling a bit calmer. I did ask about stomach tumours , and he said that although they don't normally show up on scans, the level of pain that I've had would mean that something would be visible on a scan of that makes sense.

Interestingly , I asked him if he was concerned, and he said he was concerned when I first came in, with what I had described. Which made me think back to how horrible the NHS consultant was, and how he didn't listen to me.

He did mention a possibility of something, the name of which now escapes me. It was visceral "something", and is a condition where nerve endings become hyper sensitised and makes us feel things we shouldn't.

I'm also having my bloods done again

Plus had my first hypnotherapy session today, which has helped me feel a bit better.

Thank you for your support, it's appreciated more than you can imagine

Inanna x

[pulisa]

A private consultant will give you "the works" so if you can cope with the anxiety of more tests/procedures and you will accept his opinion at the end of investigations then it will be a good investment. The danger will be allowing yourself to move onto another biggie...

My chronic pain condition involves nerve endings but doesn't sound like what you are experiencing.

Glad the hypnotherapy was soothing if nothing else x

[Inanna]

Hi pulisa

Thank you for your reply. I feel I have to keep going, as I don't know what's causing the pain, and need to exhaust all avenues. The waiting is the hardest part.

I was really disappointed when the Dr said two weeks, feels like I've been in limbo forever

Thanks again

Inanna x