How to deal with increased anxiety and panic attacks after death of loved one?

[GingerFish]

My stepdad died yesterday after a short illness. We knew he was ill with his other chronic illnesses but didn't think he was at death's door so we are all shocked.

I'm staying with my mum for the next few weeks to help her through it and I have to make sure I am stable enough. My panic attacks, obsessions/compulsions and general anxiety have been sky high lately even before this and now I'm worried this is going to push me over the edge which I can't let happen as I need to be there for mum.

Do any of you have any experience of dealing with grief with existing anxiety issues? What helped? Also do you have any tips on how to sleep? Haven't slept since we got the news yesterday afternoon and I feel mentally and physically exhausted but can't drop off. My mind is going a million miles an hour :(

Just any advice to both take care of myself and especially my mum would be great

[nomorepanic]

Really sorry to hear this news - thinking of you all at this sad time.

[venusbluejeans]

Sorry to hear your news :(

you could try contacting Cruse.... they may be able to help in some way https://www.cruse.org.uk/

[pulisa]

I am very sorry, GF-this must be a huge shock and you must feel absolutely shell shocked and disorientated.

I don't think anything really "helps" as it's such a huge thing to deal with. Just being with your Mum and helping her cope is all you can do. And by helping her cope I mean just being there and letting her talk when she wants to. Sleep won't be easy-maybe your GP could prescribe some meds to give you some relief from insomnia? Zopliclone can give you a few hours.

You may surprise yourself with your mental resilience. It's at times like this when we are strong for much loved others x

[Mrsmitchell1984]

I am sorry to hear to.

if it helps a bit- please write on here about your progress and how you are feeling- we are here to listen and support on your journey to feeling better in time x

[LouiseAndy]

I am very sorry, what awful news this time of year.

I can understand the struggle to sleep, when my Granddad died I couldn't sleep for days. My body was exhausted but my mind couldn't settle at all. I agree with pulisa, see if you an contact a gp to get something to help you sleep during this time.

Sorry I can't give any more words, just know I'm thinking of you during this time hun xxx

[GingerFish]

Thank you all so much for your replies. My feelings are so up and down. One minute I'm doing ok then the next I am on the floor.

I feel so sick to my stomach and nothing helps the nausea, not even eating or going to the toilet. I still haven't slept well, neither has mum.

I feel so much guilt. I feel guilt about missing being from home at the moment from my own husband and pets when my mum has lost her husband for good, guilty for having panic attacks when my grief and sadness will be nothing compared to what my mum feels etc

[hlvd]

My experience of grief highlighted some things about anxiety to me.

I worry about everything, things that may or may not happen, with the death of a loved one I realised there was a difference.

I've lost both my parents in the last five years and although I've suffered with depression because of it, I realised that it doesn't matter how anxious or worried I was about losing them, nothing at all was going to change.
They will still be gone however I think.

It's normal to feel grief, the people who've experienced it themselves will understand and will probably be of most help during the difficult times.

It gets better with time x

[Scass]

So sorry for your loss.

For me, keeping busy helped. And fortunately there is much to do after the death of a loved one.
I didn’t have trouble sleeping really. Well I am often awake for a while in the middle of the night but falling asleep at first is no problem.
Just try to keep yourself and your thoughts organised. Write lists, eat well, rest - even if it’s not sleeping.
Be with your Mum, I bet yourself such a comfort for her.

[fishman65]

I'm so sorry to hear this Gingerfish. All you can do is try to be there for your Mum, nobody can ask any more of you. We have an illness and it doesn't suddenly disappear when major life events occur. Thinking of you