Constant breast checking and worries

[Lauz]

I am 34 and have pretty large breasts, A few weeks back I got a boil under my right breast. This threw my HA back in to spin full force. Since then I have become obsessed with checking my breasts. Albeit I am not sure I understand really what normal breast tissue should feel like.

Anyhow I go in waves of checking and calming down. At the moment I am not calm.

When I press down near the base of the nipple area it feels like a valley is the best way to describe it and then as I move my hands it rolls over what I am guessing is normal breast tissue. I know breasts arenÂ’t twins but the same thing happens on the other side. What is stressing me out is that one side it feels firming in a certain section and it is freaking me out.

I have booked an appt with the doc tomorrow to do a breast exam, as really there is no point me conintuing to do it as I know I just put myself into a spiraling anxiety rabbit hole.

Does anyone else understand the part that I am talking about and feeling?

[Lauz]

I am completely freaking out.
The doctor did a check and can feel the thickening / lumpy area I could. She has referred me for an ultra sound.

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry you're in such a bad position right now. Most referrals turn out to not have any serious cause, though.

[Lauz]

I'm sorry you're in such a bad position right now. Most referrals turn out to not have any serious cause, though.

Thank you.
I am in such a bad place with my anxiety and panic attacks recently that this is just tipping me over the edge.
My brain is going a million miles an hr and catasrophizing everything.

[BlueIris]

It's understandable, and I'm really not the expert in these things. Sending positive thoughts your way - is there any chance you could chat to a doctor about your anxiety?

[Lauz]

I have actually just restarted seeing a psychologist and have an appt this weekend.
Just feeling really alone and helpless right now.

[BlueIris]

There's a whole bunch of people here who've got your back.

[Lauz]

Thank you - you are so kind, and your words really mean a lot.

[Carys]

Hiyeeerrrrrrr

Its great you have a psychologist that you are seeing this weekend, great timing in terms of your needs. Waiting for tests and then results (though I think you have them quicker in your part of the world) is a very very tough thing psychologically, indeed. Sorry to be brief ; I would say to you that there are a vast number of reasons for the breast tissue to change and become as yours is now, most of those totally benign reasons are common at your age (which is young for BC), but you know what - WHY do we go to doctors and have tests done ? You did the right thing and chose to alert your GP to the tissue changes, but as with many HA people of course you expect to go in and be told there is nothing there and sent away again. As you've raised a concern with your GP and they don't have XRAY vision, they have to do the right thing and get the ultrasound done to rule things out. This is as it should be, it is what does save the lives of the vast majority of women with BC, those women who are the minority attending breast clinics, but it does mean you do have to accept that any test or check isn't just about a definite 'all clear'.

Slow yourself down, the million miles an hour brain and the catastrophizing will make the wait for the ultrasound even worse, don't read anything about any breast symptoms online, itll provide no answers - ever - and make things much harder as will scare you and make you swing around between despair and hope. The 'C' word is terrifying, I understand that, but please remember you are surrounded by people who have seen, treated and come out the other side of the 'C' word. We will be here to 'listen' and help if we can, but keep yourself busy, distraction, physical activity.....and do the best you can just to cope.

[Lauz]

Thank you so much Carys. I know my psychologist appt couldn’t come at a better time.
I have managed to calm down now and think more rational. Everything you said from not googling, to very valid reasons for breast changes makes sense.

I am very fortunate that my Mum is a radiographer, so she will try get me into her hospital tomorrow for an appt or ring around other places. If not I suspect it will be early next week.

My doctor said she is pretty sure it’s nothing, but alas HA taking control.

What is positive is that I saw the doc and have got the ultra sound referral. I’ll keep this thread updated can’t promise I’ll stay this rational haha but I’ll give it my best shot.