More breast issues and need some logical thinking

[Unicorn1985]

For my two-penneth .....i agree with everything Carys has said. She gave me the same talking to early 2018 when I was going through the same circle as you!
Sounds like you have a very good GP and they're like gold dust. He's recognised the real problem and is working on it with you. It makes me sad when I hear of young people like yourself going through this HA crap. Not sure I could have coped with a life time of it so focus on getting that sorted. By magic, the aches and pains will disappear if you do (most of anyway!)...

thanks Nicole.

Ive cried a few times today. Just can’t shift this doom and gloom feeling at all. I’ll collect my referral forms from Drs tomorrow.

I put a heat pad on last night and it helped loads. Still very tender in places but area of tenderness isn’t huge. Also back to my underwire bras and that’s helped with the pain significantly as no band sitting on it anymore. So only been noticing it when moving around or like when I took the dog to the vets today and she was pulling on the lead.

Appetite has really gone though. I went to see my friend and she had bought me some gifts to cheer me up and did lunch. I felt sick by the time I had made myself eat it. Not like me at all. I don’t think I feel sick as a physical thing connected with this pain, I think it’s the anxiety making me feel sick to the pit of my stomach x

[Carys]

I put a heat pad on last night and it helped loads. Still very tender in places but area of tenderness isn’t huge. Also back to my underwire bras and that’s helped with the pain significantly as no band sitting on it anymore. So only been noticing it when moving around or like when I took the dog to the vets today and she was pulling on the lead

I honestly think this will heal and get better with some sensible treatment (that you are doing like bras and warmth and so on).

[Unicorn1985]

I honestly think this will heal and get better with some sensible treatment (that you are doing like bras and warmth and so on).

I hope so carys. I’m so hyper aware of it and it’s not helping at all as I can’t seem to distract myself. Going to put another heat pad on after a nice hot bath.

[Unicorn1985]

I’m really sturggling today, I was doing ok but now I’ve stopped cleaning and sat down I just feel really tearful and panicked. My heart is thumping and I feel convinced this is cancer. Made my phone call to my private health insurance company to get the back rolling on breast consultant and psychologist. . I’ve cleaned my whole house today. Normally I feel so low I have to do it over two days. This is the first time in a long time I’ve hit it out in one day. Had my music on and was singing away. Noticing aches as I was cleaning but nothing horrendous. Since I stopped I touch the sore spot and the pain is horrendous. I swear in the light it looks like there is a tiny lump but I can’t feel anything. Looks like a really pale patch about 1mm wide.

I keep thinking back back to my Drs appointment and how he couldn’t offer me any reassurance. I wish my husband could of come with me as I’m now over analysing everything he said and his facial expressions. But on the flip side he didn’t order any blood tests and his secretary still hasn’t typed up my referral letters so I think if he thought it was really bad he would of given me s blood test for blood cancer and the referrals would of been done the next day.

I dont mnow. My mind is racing and I feel sick again, I’m so panicked and I’m trying to calm down. I also stuoidly googled bruised feeling ribs and it bought blood cancer again.

[Carys]

I put a heat pad on last night and it helped loads. Still very tender in places but area of tenderness isn’t huge. Also back to my underwire bras and that’s helped with the pain significantly as no band sitting on it anymore. So only been noticing it when moving around or like when I took the dog to the vets today and she was pulling on the lead.

So, in all honesty, if you do the opposite of being careful - and clean your house all day - is it really surprising it hurts more ? Googling 'bruised ribs' won't give you an answer - you could get 100, 1000, 100000 results and none of them will actually tell you what it troubling you, but, instead give your mind more to analyse and worry about. I know you are looking for an answer, but only the doctors are going to be able to give that.

I will say this, if it was something (an injury) that I had identified as having had before, which went on its own, then I more than likely wouldn't even have gone to the doctor about it at all. I'm just giving you the side of someone without (usually lol) HA. It has moved location, 'symptoms' have changed a few times during the thread (since was it last Sept?), pain and discomfort has waxed and waned in intensity and you said you'd had this once before 3 years ago which started you on the path of extreme HA. So, why fixated on cancer ? I think once and for all having the scan that you are waiting on is probably a good idea for you, even though last time the consultant didn't give you one after the full mannual exam. Following that, you've just gotta go with the psychological therapy stuff, because you know how much you really need that.

[Unicorn1985]

So, in all honesty, if you do the opposite of being careful - and clean your house all day - is it really surprising it hurts more ? I will say this, if it was something (an injury) that I had identified as having had before, which went on its own, then I more than likely wouldn't even have gone to the doctor about it at all. I'm just giving you the side of someone without (usually lol) HA. It has moved location, waxed and waned in intensity and you said you'd had this once before 3 years ago which started you on the path of extreme HA. So, why fixated on cancer ?

I know but I was careful all day yesterday and it was painful when I did nothing to encourage it. I think the stress has triggered some ibs over the past few days as I’m getting tummy ache quite badly too.

i made myself clean my house to prove to myself that I’m not ill with cancer, that I do not have fatigue but low mood which makes me feel tired. I was trying to prove to myself that if I was riddled with cancer I wouldn’t have the energy to clean a large house by myself like I always used to do with no problems. Now I’ve said it out loud I sound tapped!

i think this is where I hurt myself exercising 3 years ago but I’m not 100% sure. I’m thinking it may be more towards my side where as this pain is closer to the centre of body but still on the ribs. . I know it was in the same region but not sure if it’s was this specific area. I can’t find any messages to anyone about it other than to my mum to say at the time the dr thought she felt a lump in my ribs but they couldn’t find anything at the ultrasound. I’ve had so many symptoms and “problems” over the last three years it’s all blurring into one.

When i I saw the dr and he diagnosed costochondritis he said he was only sending me to breast specialist for reassurance. He didn’t say that this time. He pressed the ribs a few times at the examination and could see they were tender. He didn’t get me to lie down and didn’t feel about for lumps or anything which I don’t get as that’s the way I was examined last time I had pain in the rib region.

I have been reading about anxiety causijg rib pain but again he never mentioned that being a possibility or muscle strain etc,

im just stuck in this spiral of convincing myself it’s nothing and then convincing myself im going to be the unlucky one and get told it’s metastasised cancer and I’m terminal. There is no inbeteeen.

Now im waiting for the breast consultant appointment and that’s making me feel even more anxious, I’m just not coping at all. I’m so annoyed st myself. Why can’t I just be calm? Why do I always think I’m dying? Why do I always feel like I’ve got this huge cloud of doom over me constantly. It’s so draining.

[Unicorn1985]

Also o have some numbers for a psychologist and I will ring tomorrow when the girls are st school. I just can’t do it now as they will hear the phone call and my 9 year old will worry

[Carys]

I'm sorry unicorn - I can see you are so stressed and it doesn't sound that odd to say you were 'proving to yourself that you weren't riddled with cancer'. In a way that's not such a bad thing, and is quite positive - as no you'd not be able to clean your whole house in one day with various metastatic cancer sites. The way you are responding about swinging between 'I'm fine' to 'I'm dying' is actually really common, and something that women waiting on ultrasounds of the breast often feel (or waiting for any results for that matter). The over analysis of your doctor's actions and words are part of your anxiety state also - as a by-stander I can see that your doctor might not bother doing too much of an exam if he is sending you for an ultrasound, which is a diagnostic tool. I can also see that he might have listened to you say that you can't feel a lump, just pain, and that the last breast consultant exam said they felt nothing to be concerned about. So, don't read too much into things, as hard as that is I know. Your doctor can't say to you 'its nothing, I know its nothing' because at this point he isn't sure what is causing the pain - but is doing everything he can to try and find an answer.

Until you have some more psychological support its going to be tough the next few weeks for you and that emotional roller coaster may well continue - I'm fine, I'm not, I'm fine, I'm not. Wanting the answer is a powerful feeling, hence the googling. I will remind you though that you did say that heat and not wearing your underwire bra helped, so why not in the meantime, whilst waiting for everything to come through - just try these methods as often as you can ?!

[Carys]

I was going to say also, the reason why your doctor may not have done much about the rib pain thing, is that most of the appointment was spent on discussing mental health issues.

[Unicorn1985]

I’m definitely going to call tomorrow to get some help. This can’t carry on.

thanks for not thinking I’m totally nuts about the house thing. I know I’m being really repetitive but I really am also trying my hardest to fight this.

I think i wae habing a bit of a panic attack earlier when I first posted. Mine aren’t breathing into a bag but I feel completely certain when they are happening that the worst case scenario is completely right and it’s game over.

ive just led down and had a feel and barely any pain. This must be psychological. Maybe I’ve made it sore in the first place by poking and then the anxiety and continued poking has made it all worse along with tensing with out realising.. Anyway I know cancer pain doesn’t get better and then worse. It’s constant pain when you push at the site of the tumour, for it to stop hurting the tumour would have to disappear by itself which we know it doesn’t. I must stay calm and logical. But I need off this rollercoaster! I’m calling the psychologist tomorrow morning! I need help whatever the cause of the pain I need help.

Thank you for listening and for responding. I’m sure this becomes very frustrating after a while! X