More breast issues and need some logical thinking

[Unicorn1985]

dunno - worried about a trembling little finger now....and so it goes on...

The more you focus the worse it becomes doesn’t it.

My scan is 26th September (earliest they could do) so I’ll update once I’ve been. Praying it’s good news.

[Nicole0134]

I'm sure it will be fine...and will give you some peace of mind for a while x

[Unicorn1985]

I’m really struggling today. Terrible nights sleep awake most of the night. I just keep looking a my girls and feeling tearful. The scan feels so far away. I just want it over and done with. Now got to go to work until 8am and I’m pretty much on my own the entire shift. Too much time to think and poke my boob. Pain in the boob when pushed is still there. No longer a sharp prickly pain but a bruised pain. I keep thinking the dr is actually concerned but didn’t want to say as he could see what a state I was in. He gave me ibuprofen for my chest but it’s only really painful when I push the breast bone and ribs to the side. It tingles and aches from time to time with the odd pain but it’s by no means severe costochondritis. It’s very mild. Just feels bruised. I still don’t feel it’s connected with my breast pain when pushed as it’s too far down. Closer to my nipple where all the milk ducts are and that’s where most breast cancers start. If I get bad news at the scan I honestly don’t think I’ll cope. I’m not strong enough anymore.

Sorry for waffling on, I’m really not coping at the moment

[Nicole0134]

Aw poor you! I do know exactly where you are coming from but still certain you'll get the all clear. When I went (been twice for breast pain) the first doctor I saw just gave me advice on breast pain causes and advised I take Evening Primrose oil. He was really REALLY unconcerned about it. And unfortunately ...he probably does see a lot of women with breast cancer. I bet once you get the all clear... and stop prodding as you are no longer hyper-focusing, the pain disappears...

I've moved on a bit from breast cancer today - more on lung issues now as I have chest tightness. Pre HA I would have thought I'd got a cold coming or maybe a chest infection. Now - lung cancer, maybe heart issues.

Yesterday I had Parkinson's.

God knows what tomorrow will bring. I've done a lot of walking today which sometimes makes my leg ache...bone cancer??

[Unicorn1985]

Aw poor you! I do know exactly where you are coming from but still certain you'll get the all clear. When I went (been twice for breast pain) the first doctor I saw just gave me advice on breast pain causes and advised I take Evening Primrose oil. He was really REALLY unconcerned about it. And unfortunately ...he probably does see a lot of women with breast cancer. I bet once you get the all clear... and stop prodding as you are no longer hyper-focusing, the pain disappears...

I've moved on a bit from breast cancer today - more on lung issues now as I have chest tightness. Pre HA I would have thought I'd got a cold coming or maybe a chest infection. Now - lung cancer, maybe heart issues.

Yesterday I had Parkinson's.

God knows what tomorrow will bring. I've done a lot of walking today which sometimes makes my leg ache...bone cancer??

I really hope you are right. My counsellor recently got referred to the hospital for breast pain and she said the consultant said he’s happy when he hears the words bresst pain, as he pretty much knows it won’t be cancer. I wish anxiety would allow you to believe the good and not the bad so much.

I really hear you. I’m getting some aching in the middle of my back and I’m convincing myself it’s breast cancer that’s spread to my spine. Health anxiety is just such an evil illness. Logic and reasoning go out of the window.

If you've got the costocondritis still then that won’t be helping with any colds or chest infections x

[Nicole0134]

I was reading an interesting article about HA....it said that unlike something like social anxiety, which I'm sure is horrendous too, you can't get away from HA as you can't get away from your body....Made sense, but didn't help! x

[Unicorn1985]

I was reading an interesting article about HA....it said that unlike something like social anxiety, which I'm sure is horrendous too, you can't get away from HA as you can't get away from your body....Made sense, but didn't help! x

Makes perfect sense as you can’t remove yourself from the situation as your brain creates the situation. Makes you feel a bit hopeless doesn’t it xx

[Unicorn1985]

Not sure why but I spent most of yesterday afternoon on the breast cancer . Org website reading a huge thread about ladies that have been diagnosed and their first symptoms. So many said pain was their first symptom so this crap about breast cancer not hurting is just rubbish. Why when they are trying to make people more aware are so many websites and Drs saying breast cancer doesn’t cause pain or isn’t typically a symptom. It’s not what I’ve read from real survivors! I’m honestly mentally preparing myself that they may find something I can’t feel. It is a possibility. This pain isn’t linked with my cycle.

Ive not struggle this much since before I started counselling and I’m so scared. Back to googling loads again. Just spiralling but trying to hold it together and hide it from my kids.

Theee anti inflammatory tablets arent stopping my breast bone area from feeling sore and bruised. I just can't shake the feeling it’s time for another awful thing to happen. It’s been 11 years this Xmas since my daughter died so I guess I’m due something horrible to happen. I know it’s not logical to think this way but I do think this way.

Also found out today a group of ladies I thought I was friends with are all going away for the weekend together and I’ve not been invited. I knew one of them was being funny with me as I hardly saw her during the six weeks holidays. Guess this confirms it. Dropped again. I just can’t seem to find nice people to be friends with. She knows how much I’m struggling too. Sick of feeling so alone all the time.

If it wasnt for my girls im not sure I would want to carry on to be honest. Only so much rejection you can take in your life and I’ve had a lot.

The thought of breast cancer terrifies me but not really having a support network makes the prospect all that more terrifying

[Nicole0134]

hello you....first of all, sorry about the friends crap. Is it worth asking them why you've not been included? Though you might not like the answer. I have 3 daughters, all adults and 2 whom have often struggled socially and seem to get led down by friendship groups. They never seem to have made the "in crowd" and I know it causes them anxiety. They were lovely girls and are now lovely women. But they don't always fit in because they don't follow the crowd. Maybe you are the same - that's not necessarily a bad thing. But probably will make the path a bumpier one.....

Re the breast cancer. I'm surprised at what you've found ....and a bit alarmed if I'm honest! I was very much under the impression that painful breasts without any visible changes was VERY rarely a cause for concern. If you've found different - then I need to go back to my doctor! But I'm hoping that someone on here with more experience will also be able to reassure us both? Certainly the response I've had from the breast clinic (including the surgeon) was very laid back....

[Unicorn1985]

hello you....first of all, sorry about the friends crap. Is it worth asking them why you've not been included? Though you might not like the answer. I have 3 daughters, all adults and 2 whom have often struggled socially and seem to get led down by friendship groups. They never seem to have made the "in crowd" and I know it causes them anxiety. They were lovely girls and are now lovely women. But they don't always fit in because they don't follow the crowd. Maybe you are the same - that's not necessarily a bad thing. But probably will make the path a bumpier one.....

Re the breast cancer. I'm surprised at what you've found ....and a bit alarmed if I'm honest! I was very much under the impression that painful breasts without any visible changes was VERY rarely a cause for concern. If you've found different - then I need to go back to my doctor! But I'm hoping that someone on here with more experience will also be able to reassure us both? Certainly the response I've had from the breast clinic (including the surgeon) was very laid back....

I’m a very loyal person and I end up let down a lot. Most people seem to just chuck people away like nothing. I seem to be one of those people that get dumped once something better comes along. It’s always happened my entire life. Sorry your daughters are going through similar. It is hard to make friends. I’ve always struggled myself.

Sorry i wrote this post whilst very upset and crying. I should explain more. A lot of women said pain was their first symptom and then other symptoms appeared with in a month or two. I know you too are having breast pain with the costochondritis but given it’s been nearly 5 months (correct me if I’m wrong) that you had your scan other symptoms would of presented by now if it was cancer. So I really don’t think you have cancer and I think your scans and information given were correct.

I guess I’m just trying to prepare myself for the possibility that they could find a lump in the breast that can’t be felt but can only be seen on the scan. I often think if I can know before them it will be less of a shock but I know that it will shock me no matter what.

One positive is I found two websites with forum threads where lots of ladies were posting about their breast pain with costochondritis One thread even said about nipple pain which the breast surgeon confirmed that be caused by costochondritis. So I’ve calmed down a little. There’s a chance it could be bad, there is also a chance I could be ok. I just keep spiralling towards the fear of having cancer deep in my breast x