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Thread: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

  1. #1
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    Jul 2016
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    Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    As most know I lost my Dad 3 years ago, then my stepdad 1 year later. Their death dates are very close. One is the 6th of January, other is 13th.

    On the 6th I made it out of the house to a meal to celebrate my Dad. I told my brother to invite my Mom and my half brother. They knew my Dad, and they're family, so I thought it was a great idea. We had a good day and it was a large milestone for the anxiety.

    Today I found out my mother and brother are currently as I type at a family meal for my stepdad. Me, nor my brothers got an invite. I was very close to my stepdad. I spent time staying with him while my mother worked at night. We'd sit and play GTA together and I'd stay awake with him so he wasn't alone. All throughout the 22 years they were together I was close to him. He taught me everything I know about music. We made music togther. We went on holidays together.

    We got no invite. My brother said nothing. My mother said nothing.

    Would you be annoyed?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
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    4,109

    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    In your position I'd be livid, yes.
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  3. #3
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    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueIris View Post
    In your position I'd be livid, yes.
    I'm not going to lash out or cause any problems. But, I shall not speak to them for the moment. It's hurt me that they didn't even invite me. I had been speaking to my brother all day today. Gutted.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    5,858

    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    I'd be gutted, deeply deeply hurt.

    Is this your step-brother who went with your mother to the meal and your other brothers and you weren't invited ?

    It must feel very painful, I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I do think you should have an answer from them though, and some explanation, when you are able to do so in a way that is measured.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    2,349

    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Yes Iíd be upset and hurt by it.

    But, the only thing I can say in their defence is that itís their grief too and maybe this is how they need/want to deal with it this year.

    I hope you can do something to celebrate your stepdad, he sounds like a special man. In fact, you are celebrating him by telling us about him.

    I hope youíre ok.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
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    666

    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Bit confused here buddy. Yous and your blood bros never got an invite? From what I read, it was a private gig with your mom n half bro, just the two of them es corretto? I wouldn't call that a family reunion.

    Maybe they needed to talk about some thing private n Jan 13 seemed like a good day to do it.

    I got 2 Aspie half-bros who is always jiump to wrong conclusion.

    I can see why your riled but don't take it personally. You saw them all one week prior so they may of thought no point in inviting the whole crowd.

  7. #7
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    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Quote Originally Posted by lebonvin View Post
    Bit confused here buddy. Yous and your blood bros never got an invite? From what I read, it was a private gig with your mom n half bro, just the two of them es corretto? I wouldn't call that a family reunion.

    Maybe they needed to talk about some thing private n Jan 13 seemed like a good day to do it.

    I got 2 Aspie half-bros who is always jiump to wrong conclusion.

    I can see why your riled but don't take it personally. You saw them all one week prior so they may of thought no point in inviting the whole crowd.
    I'm slowly getting used to your bluntness You're unblocked from my list now btw. No hard feelings.

    Eventually though I seen it exactly as you put it. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions and I did think to myself "I seen them last weekend so it's not like I haven't seen them".

    I said to my brother "I'm hurt you didn't invite me I was very close to your Dad and you know it". He responded with "Do me a favour. Talk with mom. She's not well and I'm worried about her mindset". I dropped my problems at that instant and spent the night chatting to her.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    2,349

    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Thatís really good that he could ask for your help and that you gave it freely. Sometimes itís all just about the bigger picture.

  9. #9
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    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Great ! A way forward, and no major fall-outs......hope your Mom is ok.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
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    666

    Re: Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    Nice one Carys x😂

    I would of blocked me if I was you. The bosses here been mighty tolerant of me, on any other forum I would of got canned ages ago

    Now look at me, a model of tolerance maself

    I think it might of been yous who put me into meditation. It's calmed we down no end.

    I guess I am blunt but given my awful life experiences can't help it. I don't got no place for niceties or be economical with truth

    The guy I live with (major pain in ass) is Aspie, BP, OCD etc. Living with him 3 year has made me recognize the same conditions in other folk, even from there posts.

    Not sure if that's a good thing or not

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