Wow it's been ages since i've been on here! A quick recap quite a while ago i was diagnosed severe anxiety and depression and after counseling, medication and regular visits by the psychiatric nursing team i was pulling through (as well as anyone can pull through with this illness), so I came off the medication with help from my local GP and my sessions with the counselor and nursing team has ended.
So for me all is well in the world, and for over a year I was fine, then the panic attacks started up again they hit me hard, even though I knew it was a panic attack I thought I was having a heart attack, I could not breath, I felt myself passing out, thankfully my wife was with me and she managed to get me out of the shop and into our car, I don't know what caused it, I don't know why they started up again, I can sort of put it down to stress and low mood but I stupidly thought this was all behind me.
As of today's date I'm back on medication, I've been offered a spot with the counselor again (but I don't want to go through that), and i've got depression (again), It seems worse now than it ever did but I guess that's because I was felling well over a year ago, and now I'm not.
I seem to get regular panic attacks when i'm out shopping / socialising etc, when i'm with my wife or at home or even in work i feel safe, the commute into and out of work is horrible, I seem to have forgotten all my coping strategies and I feel very tired where ever i'm going, still little victories I am getting out, I am getting to work and even though I feel like I never want to leave my house again because it's safer I still force myself out through that front door.
Thanks for reading this it's appreciated and to those who are going through similar things good luck to you.
Ash