Fathers death, money & work

[Pete_uk]

I'm just typing this as a form of therapy in itself.

I'm 37 and live 'at home' with mum and before he died, dad. I have never had a full time job as my anxiety (maybe left over from school) has always pushed me away from changing things. My parents are both pensioners.

I knew my dad probably wouldn't last the year as his lungs were so bad from COPD. He had a chest infection but also started to hear and see things that weren't there last Monday. On Friday evening he passed away.

Suddenly I am very very anxious about money. I have wanted a full time job for quite some time but as I have said I'm so anxious about change. I can't dodge it any more. I'm not even sure how I am going to explain why I have not had a full time job before??

I'm on 20mg of Citalopram once a day and 150mg of Pregabalin twice a day. Are they helping? Doesn't feel like it but who knows?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sorry to hear you have lost your dad, Pete

It sounds like your dad lived to a good age and whilst it must be very hard right now that is something to remember.

Right now your head will be all over the place so anyone is going to find it hard to look at bigger issues like their mental health. As others have said on here grief is about stages and everyone goes through it in their own time. Your anxiety is bound to be up and down because this is such a big kick in the guts in life.

Be wary of looking at the work problem as one massive worrying issue. There could be ways to approach it by exposing yourself to more hours at work without going full time immediately and facing a larger amount of anxiety. For instance, could you add some voluntary work to your part time job to simulate something closer to a full working week? Would this help show you how you cope and help you to build up to it?

[Pete_uk]

Thanks Terry. Its just all in my face right now and I'm not sure which way I'm heading.

[Darksky]

So sorry to hear about your dad Pete. A big hug for you and your mum

i agree with Terry about the voluntary work. It will ease you into being away from home all day. Charity shops always need
people to help them, dog kennels need walkers and mucker outers. It will be something to put on your cv too.

try not to worry about future employers. I employ people and gave someone a job simply because they admitted to having anxiety and depression. She was a very diligent and valued member of staff.
Everythings up in the air at the moment, grief, worry for your mother, how you will do for money and your anxiety is in overdrive because of it all. Eventually you will be able to see things clearly again.

we all hate change, it tends to challenge our safe zones and behaviours but life is change. We can't avoid it. You will come out if this the other side.

i don't know how long you've been of the ADs but they do take many weeks to fully kick in.