Coronavirus worries?

[AntsyVee]

Thanks for your support you all. We were able to make some plans, albeit weird, towards the funeral. Pulisa, you hit the nail on the head as usual. This really throws a wrench in the grieving cycle. Normally you'd get together with family and friends for support, to share stories, to feel connected, but we can't really do that. At least we were all expecting this, and most of us had prepared in the best ways we could. He'd suffered for these last few months, so I feel relieved that his suffering is done. I can't imagine what this is like for other families who've had an unexpected death due to Covid.

So we've figured out the funeral for now. The cemetery will still allow us to have a funeral as long as we follow certain guidelines. We Jews try to bury our dead as close time of death a possible, but the soonest we can bury him is next week, though. Those of us who can will go to the burial. The rabbi will still be there to speak and we'll say the Kaddish for him, obviously, but we'll all have to stand 6 feet apart from each other. Just close family only. My uncle is going to watch via face time and so are some other family members that live out of the state. We each have to wear gloves so that we don't share germs when we touch the shovel. We all just have to go home afterwards.

Then in August, when hopefully all this covid stuff has passed, we're going to have a big celebration for all the family and friends where we can all get together.

[pulisa]

I'm glad that you are able to have at least a compromise as regards his funeral and that you have a date in mind to celebrate his life as you would have wished in "normal" circumstances.

I hope that next week's funeral will give you some peace of mind in that he has been buried in accordance with your faith and that all that could be done has been done to your satisfaction. Take care, Vee.

[KK77]

Thanks for your support you all. We were able to make some plans, albeit weird, towards the funeral. Pulisa, you hit the nail on the head as usual. This really throws a wrench in the grieving cycle. Normally you'd get together with family and friends for support, to share stories, to feel connected, but we can't really do that. At least we were all expecting this, and most of us had prepared in the best ways we could. He'd suffered for these last few months, so I feel relieved that his suffering is done. I can't imagine what this is like for other families who've had an unexpected death due to Covid.

So we've figured out the funeral for now. The cemetery will still allow us to have a funeral as long as we follow certain guidelines. We Jews try to bury our dead as close time of death a possible, but the soonest we can bury him is next week, though. Those of us who can will go to the burial. The rabbi will still be there to speak and we'll say the Kaddish for him, obviously, but we'll all have to stand 6 feet apart from each other. Just close family only. My uncle is going to watch via face time and so are some other family members that live out of the state. We each have to wear gloves so that we don't share germs when we touch the shovel. We all just have to go home afterwards.

Then in August, when hopefully all this covid stuff has passed, we're going to have a big celebration for all the family and friends where we can all get together.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Vee. Sending condolences to you and your family.

Current circumstances make the whole grieving process so much harder than it should be but, as you say, I hope you can all congregate at a later time and celebrate his long life.

[fishman65]

So my great uncle died passed away over the weekend. He was almost 90, and had been in bad health for years. He was under private home-care for the past two years. We knew he could pass at any time, and we were preparing for hospice. He went into the ER last week due to heart issues and put in isolation because of his age. Well, I guess hospitals are testing everyone who comes in and/or passes in the hospital. They tested him right before he passed, but we didn't get the results back until today. He tested positive. So now, he's one of the statistics.

I feel like the hospital did a great job. If they hadn't isolated him right away, and my family members had been able to visit him, then many more of us would be either in isolation now or sick. As it is, only my uncle (his son), visited him, so we only have one person that has to be isolated, when we could have had dozens.

I am kind of in shock though that he got it. He never left the house. I can only assume that one of the nurses that visited him brought it in. And he obviously was very ill anyway, so it's not like his body had any defenses against it. I hope the nurses are okay.

I'm really very sorry to hear this AntsyVee. I hope that your great uncle living a long life can bring you some comfort. In my thoughts.

[AntsyVee]

Yes, thanks you guys. I’m doing okay, really. I came to terms with it before when he was ill. I’m just trying to be there for family. I also hope the nurse comes through this okay.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm glad that you are able to have at least a compromise as regards his funeral and that you have a date in mind to celebrate his life as you would have wished in "normal" circumstances.

I hope that next week's funeral will give you some peace of mind in that he has been buried in accordance with your faith and that all that could be done has been done to your satisfaction. Take care, Vee.

I'm also glad there is a compromise. The current circumstances isolating loved ones as they pass and then the funeral just feels cruel even if it's a sad necessity.

Forgive my ignorance but isn't it considered very important in the Jewish grieving cycle for loved ones to celebrate the persons life? I have something in my mind about a form of wake a rabbi conducts. Not wishing to pry, so no need to answer if you don't want to, but it's again something else this damn virus gets in the way of that is very important to different faiths.

[Fishmanpa]

Thanks for your support you all. We were able to make some plans, albeit weird, towards the funeral. Pulisa, you hit the nail on the head as usual. This really throws a wrench in the grieving cycle. Normally you'd get together with family and friends for support, to share stories, to feel connected, but we can't really do that. At least we were all expecting this, and most of us had prepared in the best ways we could. He'd suffered for these last few months, so I feel relieved that his suffering is done. I can't imagine what this is like for other families who've had an unexpected death due to Covid.

So we've figured out the funeral for now. The cemetery will still allow us to have a funeral as long as we follow certain guidelines. We Jews try to bury our dead as close time of death a possible, but the soonest we can bury him is next week, though. Those of us who can will go to the burial. The rabbi will still be there to speak and we'll say the Kaddish for him, obviously, but we'll all have to stand 6 feet apart from each other. Just close family only. My uncle is going to watch via face time and so are some other family members that live out of the state. We each have to wear gloves so that we don't share germs when we touch the shovel. We all just have to go home afterwards.

Then in August, when hopefully all this covid stuff has passed, we're going to have a big celebration for all the family and friends where we can all get together.

So sorry for your loss :( Then, to have this virus situation on top of it?... Its literally altering the way we live our lives at the moment. Its good the immediate family can gather to say goodbye. I think if you stick to the guidelines you'll be fine. Then you can sit Shiva when all of this passes.

Sending peace and as always...

Positive thoughts

[AntsyVee]

I'm also glad there is a compromise. The current circumstances isolating loved ones as they pass and then the funeral just feels cruel even if it's a sad necessity.

Forgive my ignorance but isn't it considered very important in the Jewish grieving cycle for loved ones to celebrate the persons life? I have something in my mind about a form of wake a rabbi conducts. Not wishing to pry, so no need to answer if you don't want to, but it's again something else this damn virus gets in the way of that is very important to different faiths.

So typically, especially in orthodox and Hasidic communities (which we are not part of), the body is washed, dressed and blessed by chevra kaddisha, like Jewish morticians and placed in a coffin. I'm not sure what the mortuary can or can't do with preparation of the body in regards to Covid 19. I don't know if the morticians are wearing hazmat suits now or what. I was not in on the phone call with them. Right now the body is still at the county morgue. Then someone usually sits with body until burial. Either a close friend or relative or someone from the chevra kaddisha. We bury within 24-48 hours usually because we don't embalm. The funeral takes place at the burial site. The funeral is very life-centered. The rabbi gives a eulogy, but it's also common for family members to give eulogies as well, and speak on the life accomplishments of the person.

Then afterwards, you usually go to someone's house, the deceased or a relative for shiva. It's like a mourner's gathering. People bring food and give a lot of hugs and share stories. Depending on how religious the family is depends on how long shiva lasts. In orthodox communities, I'm pretty sure the family members don't leave their homes for 7 days. Then there is another marker at 30 days' time, and then another marker after a year. I think in the orthodox community, they have a celebration of life gathering at the end of the year because that's when mourning is officially over.

In my family, we usually have the burial, and then afterwards go to someone's house for the shiva/celebration of life because usually family has to come in from out of town, and we're not that religious.

[AntsyVee]

So sorry for your loss :( Then, to have this virus situation on top of it?... Its literally altering the way we live our lives at the moment. Its good the immediate family can gather to say goodbye. I think if you stick to the guidelines you'll be fine. Then you can sit Shiva when all of this passes.

Sending peace and as always...

Positive thoughts

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking FMP. It's crazy. We have to basically get a hazmat team to go clean my uncle's house before anyone can go in there.

[Fishmanpa]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking FMP.

My mother passed 3 years ago. One of the people that came over when we were sitting Shiva was my mother's psychologist. She suffered from some severe mental issues throughout her life. He shared with me a lot of professional personal impressions and explanations and for me, it helped me understand and make peace with her passing. In a way, sitting Shiva is Judaism's way of acceptance and reconciling.

Positive thoughts