Meds or no meds

[LisaS]

Hi
After a number of trial and error attempts to find the right med for me, I'm wondering whether to give up on them! My psychiatrist says its up to me and has a list of others I can try and my GP says if I'm functioning, to not be on them until it becomes an issue. I am functioning (although in my past there have been times when I haven't) but it can be a mission with constant anxious thoughts and rumination... yes, I can still run about my life but it can be difficult.
My plan was to take meds to 'take the edge off' but escitalopram, sertraline and pregabalin have all given me nasty side effects or just not been effective and often caused more drama due to my huge spike in anxiety when I take them.
My next script I have started yesterday is Vorioxetine/Brintellix which is meant to have a limited side effect profile. As you know, nothing is ever a quick fix and I just want to make the right decision...but it takes weeks to know if something will work or not.
Anyway, thanks for reading and any words of wisdom will be gratefully received.
L

[lebonvin]

Hi Lisa

I was on vortioxatine for 5 weeks but bailed on it. I should of given it longer.

From what I got told it's the newest AD from Denmark and supposed to be real good so I'd stick to it and see what goes down.

[pulisa]

I think it depends on each person's response and meds certainly don't help everyone-quite the opposite in some cases.

I've been off meds for about 5 years. Agitation has always been an issue with me and I found I was very sensitive to many of the SSRIs. A lot of the time it's just trial and error with these drugs which isn't very reassuring but if you are lucky enough to find a med which makes some difference to your quality of life then it's all worthwhile. There's often a lot of hype about new improved anti depressants but they rarely fulfill their "promises".

I hope you find some improvement with the Vorioxetine. If you have faith in your psychiatrist and he/she is not just experimenting with different meds then this all helps.

[ankietyjoe]

I never took meds and beat anxiety, so it would be important for you to know that you can do it without meds. Even with meds, the methods of beating anxiety are the same anyway.

[LisaS]

I hope you find some improvement with the Vorioxetine. If you have faith in your psychiatrist and he/she is not just experimenting with different meds then this all helps.

Thanks Pulisa - I do trust my psychiatrist - she is lovely, however, there is part of me that feels a little like an experiment.

How have you managed your anxiety since being off meds?

[LisaS]

Thanks so much, Ankietyjoe,

I love this forum. Makes you feel so much less alone, as anxiety is such a hard thing to explain to people who don't have it!

I would love to know how you beat anxiety - and how it was before and after whatever you did.

One of my main issues is that I can go through periods of being great, then as soon as I find myself ruminating again or feeling the anxiety feelings, I tell myself this is it - I'm going downhill, I'm never getting better etc etc and spiral myself down - rather than - oh crap, I feel anxious, nevermind it will pass...

[pulisa]

Thanks Pulisa - I do trust my psychiatrist - she is lovely, however, there is part of me that feels a little like an experiment.

How have you managed your anxiety since being off meds?

I have 2 adult children on the autistic spectrum so need to be very organised. I'm very busy so have little time to ruminate which is helpful. I don't really think too much about anxiety and just let symptoms happen without reacting to them. i don't have any specific coping mechanisms other than not to give significance to feelings of anxiety. Some days are better than others but that's life!

[ankietyjoe]

Thanks so much, Ankietyjoe,

I love this forum. Makes you feel so much less alone, as anxiety is such a hard thing to explain to people who don't have it!

I would love to know how you beat anxiety - and how it was before and after whatever you did.

One of my main issues is that I can go through periods of being great, then as soon as I find myself ruminating again or feeling the anxiety feelings, I tell myself this is it - I'm going downhill, I'm never getting better etc etc and spiral myself down - rather than - oh crap, I feel anxious, nevermind it will pass...

There is no single solution and it's not a fast process, but again this is true of recovery with or without meds.

My anxiety before recovery was horrendous, and tested as 'beyond severe' in 2007 using a combination of something called the Hamilton Test and another questionnaire that I can't recall the name of. At my worst I was confined to a single room in my flat for several months on end.

There are a couple of things you may do well looking into. The first is acceptance. Try to accept where you are now, and only live in the moment. Even if that moment is shitty. If you have anxiety, accept it. I learned over the years that the problem isn't the sensation, it's my reaction to the sensation that's the problem.

The second thing you may want to read up on is meditation, which for me was the single biggest factor in recovery. It's common to believe that meditation is a relaxation technique that should give you immediate relief, or a method of emptying your mind. Neither of those is remotely true. Meditation is the practice of not reacting to physical or mental stimulus. It's simply observing what you think or feel, and not judging it. At the same time you have a meditation focus that you use to steer your thoughts towards if you feel your concentration wander. If you can't focus on that one meditation focus, that's fine, and is also the point. When you meditate you WILL fail to keep focus, and that is the point. The point is to steer your thoughts back to the focus, not actually succeed in focussing...does that make sense? This helps retrain your brain to not react with panic, and it really works.

I also took stock of all the other factors in my life that were causing me stress, and stress is THE single biggest factor in recurrence of anxiety. Stress can include poor diet, smoking, drinking, work, relationships, money, illness, lack of sleep....anything really. I changed my diet massively and although I still enjoy the odd takeaway, I make sure I eat 10-15 portions of fruit/veg per day, more towards the veg. This is important.

It's really a holistic approach that works, there are no quick fixes at all. You have to make efforts to support your central nervous system both physically and mentally. Your brain is an association machine, and it learns through repetition. People who suffer with anxiety get into mental habits of feeling a trigger and reacting with panic. Your brain eventually learns that benign 'problems' need the fight or flight system to deal with, and this is when it turns into panic disorder. For example you may have been ok going to the supermarket at one point, but then one day you have a panic attack there. That event is recorded by the brain, and your reaction compounds and solidifies that recording. If you react with a downward spiral your brain will flag that event as 'DANGER', and prepare you accordingly next time. The flip side of this is you consciously going back to the supermarket after the panic attack with the mental mantra of 'I know this is not a dangerous situation, and I know I will be fine', even though you may feel anxiety your brain will lower the 'DANGER' flag a little until it relearns that it's not a place to avoid.

In essence, you have to play mental chess with yourself for the next several months until you help your brain unlearn all the learned fear responses.

My life is 95% normal now, there are few things I get truly anxious about, and I never have panic attacks any more. Even if I did, I'd be fine after 10-15 minutes and carry on an normal.

[LisaS]

Thanks so much for your detailed reply - I appreciate everything you said.

I'm in my 40's now and have been in the anxiety game for many years - I was really helped the first time around with Dr Claire Weekes books, so I know deep down acceptance is key. I just can't seem to get there. Anxiety is scary and I can't seem to get out of that. I also used to suffer panic attacks but for some reason and some way, I lost my fear of them and since don't have them or if I do it doesn't bother me. I'd do anything to get to this point with anxiety. It's definitely the longest road I've ever been on.

I have had the Calm and headspace apps on my phone and do use them albeit intermittently and they do help - I'm just feeling rather stuck. I'm also studying Occupational Therapy and am well versed in a holistic way of healing - during the course I have studied anatomy, physiology, neuroscience and psychiatry, so I have a solid understanding but I can't seem to apply any of it to myself. Part of me feels I've been thinking this way so long, how on earth can I ever create those new neural pathways and relearn but then other people have done it...

I truly want to be ok with having anxiety. I see a therapist once a month, I eat healthily, I've increased exercise, I do meditation - I just feel a bit stuck.

Thanks again x

[pulisa]

It IS ok to live with anxiety though. I think you are trying too hard, Lisa. You have the knowledge and you do all the right things to lead a healthy life. You sound like a very kind and decent person who just wants to get the very best out of life. There's no reason why you can't learn to modify your reactions to stressful situations whatever age you are but ultimately it's ok to accept that you struggle with anxiety. So many people do but it makes them kinder and more empathetic than those who just blast their way through life without an apparent care in the world x