Lump on son's arm?

[BrokenGirl]

I wish I wasn't feeling like this at the moment, but my HA is back again.
About a week ago I posted on here that my bowel movements were a strange colour (darkish red) but it just turned out to be food colouring in a cake!


But his time it's my son, who is 18. I've had HA over my kids before and it truly is horrible. I was talking to him today and he just happened to move his hand up to his face for a minute. Whatever way I looked at his arm (he was wearing a short sleeve t-shirt), I could see what looked like a lump under the skin. It was kind of on the back side of his arm, maybe half way between his wrist and his elbow. And it was about the size of a pea. Instant panic, but I said nothing to him. And it's been going around in my head all day, spiraling.
He fell asleep on a big armchair in front of the fire this evening, and when I went to wake him I very gently rubbed his arm in that area as I was calling him. I couldn't feel anything, but it was a gentle rub.


I'm trying to recognise that these are the exact thought patterns I always had with my HA, I can only see the absolute worst case scenario and I finish up torturing myself with these thoughts.


I'm not sure what to do or how to deal with this. I haven't had bad health worries for months - had a few wobbles and was able to deal with them, talk myself through them.


I know I'm looking for reassurance right now, but does this sound like HA and spiraling thoughts?

[Cptdebbie]

It’s amazing how much we worry about our kids. We love them so much!

My husband had a lump under the skin on his arm just like you describe. I don’t remember what it was, But we finally had it removed and it was nothing. He was rather young at the time, probably in his 20s.

I’m sure your son is fine. He is very blessed to have a wonderful mother who cares so much about him.

[NancyW]

I've been down this road but the lump was in my son's neck.
It went on for 4 years. Please don't do what I did and stay quiet.

Ask to see his arm, if you find the lump and it's not something obvious like an ingrown hair or a pimple, go get it checked out.

[BrokenGirl]

It’s amazing how much we worry about our kids. We love them so much!

My husband had a lump under the skin on his arm just like you describe. I don’t remember what it was, But we finally had it removed and it was nothing. He was rather young at the time, probably in his 20s.

I’m sure your son is fine. He is very blessed to have a wonderful mother who cares so much about him.

Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. And I'm glad your husbands lump turned out to be nothing.
Deep down there is something telling me this is also nothing, especially when I rubbed his arm and couldn't feel anything, but the HA has taken over now and I can't stop worrying.
It's so difficult when the HA is for someone else. If it was on me I could have a good feel and poke around, keep an eye on it and know I could go to the doctor if the worry got out of control. But it's not that easy when its someone else.
I just wish I knew what the right thing to do here was....

[NancyW]

I just wish I knew what the right thing to do here was....

Did you read my reply to you?

[BrokenGirl]

Did you read my reply to you?

Sorry Nancy - I didn't mean to ignore your reply from earlier. I just didn't get a chance to reply to it before now.


I asked for more advice here because I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing if I said it to him. After all, you can't unsay something if it's been said!!


I hope when you said that yours went on for 4 years, that it wasn't anything bad.


I asked him anyway, just said I thought I saw something on his arm, didn't specifically say it was a lump and tried to keep it all very calm and relaxed. I gave a quick feel and couldn't feel anything, was just about to say everything was fine when I saw it. I could see what looked like a lump under the skin. It was easier to see it if I moved his skin. I just said to him "what's that?" and I pressed on it once or twice. But this is the weird thing. When I pressed it I couldn't feel anything. Perhaps something very flat and soft, but my initial reaction was there's nothing there. My son then felt it and just said something like "don't know" and that was it (it didn't bother him and I doubt he will even think about it again. He doesn't have HA, thankfully). I pressed it one more time after that and could barely feel anything, if anything at all.


Now I don't know what to think. It looks like there's something there but feels like nothing.
Has anyone ever come across anything like this? I'm at a loss with this one. I'm still worried about it but I can't keep asking him if I can feel his arm. What to do...

[NancyW]

Does he have his yearly physical coming up ?

It could very well be nothing but like I said I've been down this road and I wish to God I didnt let my own fear and HA stand in the way of pushing my son to go sooner. I had gotten to the point where I avoided seeing him or took my contacts out so I wouldn't keep seeing the lump in his neck. It was 1000% wrong to let my HA interfere with my son's health... and boys are like that.. they won't take it upon themselves to go.

[BrokenGirl]

We don't have yearly physicals here - the health system is in some state here. People generally only go to the doctor when something is wrong.

I'm so so sorry you went through all of that with your son. But you shouldn't blame yourself. HA messes with our minds, stops us from being able to separate thoughts from reality. Sounds like you were in a place where you were trying to recover from HA but unfortunately had something real thrown your way.
How is your son doing now? I hope everything turned out ok for him in the end.

Even though you knew you suffered from HA, did you know on some level that it might be something serious? Maybe not at the time, but looking back on it, did it feel different from other HA episodes?

I've always tried to hide my anxiety from my children, and I think I've done it fairly well. And that advice is all over this forum - not to let your children know how much you're worrying. What do I say to him if I did want to look at it again, without him knowing I have HA?

[Lana]

" He does not hve HA, thankfully" - this is what caught my attention. Namely, I have a 21 year old son who also did not have HA, until he did! And it is all my fault, he learned to react to things like I do. Thank God, he is much more reasonable than me, but, still, I hate myself for infecting him with this stupid horror (HA). So, do not do that, period. If you think it is something serious, then take him immediately to the doctor ( and it is not); if you have doubts that it is your HA speaking, then leave him alone. Do not make my mistake, dear.

Sorry Nancy - I didn't mean to ignore your reply from earlier. I just didn't get a chance to reply to it before now.


I asked for more advice here because I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing if I said it to him. After all, you can't unsay something if it's been said!!


I hope when you said that yours went on for 4 years, that it wasn't anything bad.


I asked him anyway, just said I thought I saw something on his arm, didn't specifically say it was a lump and tried to keep it all very calm and relaxed. I gave a quick feel and couldn't feel anything, was just about to say everything was fine when I saw it. I could see what looked like a lump under the skin. It was easier to see it if I moved his skin. I just said to him "what's that?" and I pressed on it once or twice. But this is the weird thing. When I pressed it I couldn't feel anything. Perhaps something very flat and soft, but my initial reaction was there's nothing there. My son then felt it and just said something like "don't know" and that was it (it didn't bother him and I doubt he will even think about it again. He doesn't have HA, thankfully). I pressed it one more time after that and could barely feel anything, if anything at all.


Now I don't know what to think. It looks like there's something there but feels like nothing.
Has anyone ever come across anything like this? I'm at a loss with this one. I'm still worried about it but I can't keep asking him if I can feel his arm. What to do...

[Lana]

" He does not have HA, thankfully" - this is what caught my attention. Namely, I have a 21 year old son who also did not have HA, until he did! And it is all my fault, he learned to react to things like I do. Thank God, he is much more reasonable than me, but, still, I hate myself for infecting him with this stupid horror (HA). So, do not do that, period. If you think it is something serious, then take him immediately to the doctor ( and it is not); if you have doubts that it is your HA speaking, then leave him alone. Do not make my mistake, dear.

Sorry Nancy - I didn't mean to ignore your reply from earlier. I just didn't get a chance to reply to it before now.


I asked for more advice here because I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing if I said it to him. After all, you can't unsay something if it's been said!!


I hope when you said that yours went on for 4 years, that it wasn't anything bad.


I asked him anyway, just said I thought I saw something on his arm, didn't specifically say it was a lump and tried to keep it all very calm and relaxed. I gave a quick feel and couldn't feel anything, was just about to say everything was fine when I saw it. I could see what looked like a lump under the skin. It was easier to see it if I moved his skin. I just said to him "what's that?" and I pressed on it once or twice. But this is the weird thing. When I pressed it I couldn't feel anything. Perhaps something very flat and soft, but my initial reaction was there's nothing there. My son then felt it and just said something like "don't know" and that was it (it didn't bother him and I doubt he will even think about it again. He doesn't have HA, thankfully). I pressed it one more time after that and could barely feel anything, if anything at all.


Now I don't know what to think. It looks like there's something there but feels like nothing.
Has anyone ever come across anything like this? I'm at a loss with this one. I'm still worried about it but I can't keep asking him if I can feel his arm. What to do...