Please Help!! Freaking out again!!

[BlueIris]

That's fantastic, congratulations!

[ODA_555]

Huge news.

[Carys]

Amazing news !

[Inanna]

Fabulous! So pleased to read this

[Fishmanpa]

Great news!

Positive thoughts

[always scared]

I'm not doing well. I'm so scared with what is happening to me. Since my husbands diagnosis I've been pretty messed up. I've been lying around in bed for a few weeks now. I started a new med which feels like it's made everything worse. I am now convinced I have ovarian cancer or uterine cancer . I just had the worst period from hell. My lower back, hip and pelvic area mostly on my right side is constantly hurting even though I just finished my period.
I'm in bed crying most of the days. I think my family is starting to get worried. I'm having a very hard time hiding it from them. I use to be good at it. I'm trying to be rational but I can't I've had these pains before. They come and go. That last flare up was in the summer. So I'm worried that if I've been having these pains for a few years now that it's now very serious because I never got them checked out and it now has spread else where. I do know I had fibroids 10 years ago and I'm going through perimenopause right now.
I'm always scared. I hate myself so much. If I didn't have children I know I wouldn't be here anymore. I've made such a mess of my life and I hate it. I just want to give up

[BlueIris]

I'm really sorry. Is there some sort of crisis line you can talk to?

[Inanna]

Hi

I could have written most of what you are saying (apart from the husband diagnosis bit)

Less than two weeks ago I rang the Samaritans. It did help a little bit, in that moment.

I am constantly in a state of panic. One fear is replaced by another. Pancreatic cancer replaced by lung, then stomach cancer. I've just started bleeding (post menopausaly), so now fearing uterine cancer.

Perimenopause and menopause causes terrible anxiety, and you are also dealing with your husbands diagnosis too ( and your son's illness).

Could you ring the Samaritans? Just deal with an hour at a time...

Feel free to pm me if you want to, or keep talking on here

Take care

Inanna x

[Beachlady]

Here’s the thing, so scared: what if you DID have cancer? You don’t, but laying in bed worrying about it wouldn’t change that. If you had cancer, you’d get your butt to a doctor, get on chemo or radiation, and deal with it. I’ve got bipolar disorder and I’ve had cancer twice. My sister is presently being treated for ovarian cancer.

Believe me when I tell you that IF it came true (and it won’t), but if--you’d deal with it.

[always scared]

Here’s the thing, so scared: what if you DID have cancer? You don’t, but laying in bed worrying about it wouldn’t change that. If you had cancer, you’d get your butt to a doctor, get on chemo or radiation, and deal with it. I’ve got bipolar disorder and I’ve had cancer twice. My sister is presently being treated for ovarian cancer.

Believe me when I tell you that IF it came true (and it won’t), but if--you’d deal with it.

I do know that I would have to just deal with. You have no choice. I was there when my son was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I was there for it all of it and we had no choice. I watched in horror what it did to my baby boy. So forgive me if I'm just a little terrified of having cancer. I've watched in horror what cancer did to my family members.
So yay I'm very terrified of going to the doctors and getting a diagnosis . If I wasn't scared and was thinking rationally I wouldn't be on a HA forum