Really scared I have pancreas, liver and spleen damage, worried I am dying

[DL45]

I am sorry, this may be a little long.

I have a fatty liver - I am overweight predominantly due to eating and drinking too much and not shifting my bum as much as I should. I am in my mid 50's and have a bad back and a bad hip which means I can no longer get around as much due to the pain - I know the first thing my GP will say is lose weight, so it is a vicious circle. I used to be lovely and slim and only have myself to blame. My BMI is high 30's. I start a diet - I am their greatest gift because I spend all kinds of silly money on food, books blah blah....and within days my willpower has totally zapped and I am stuffing my face with rubbish. Sweets, chocolate, toast and biscuits are definitely my downfall. I have started again this last weekend.

I loved wine but gave it up at the end of September and am still without any, I think I am around 123 days without a glass of wine. I did the same with cigarettes years ago - put one out at midnight, through everything away and never touched another - although every time I smell one I could kill for one, but 18yrs on I am very pleased. So I guess what I am saying is that if I NEED willpower I can do it. Just not with food.

So I know I have a fatty liver and get pain in the right side and also deep in my right shoulder blade. I get lots of heartburn. After 3 months of not drinking I thought I was symptom free and that my liver was enjoying life, but it seems now to have started to complain again these last 2 weeks, but I have loads more symptoms so now am truly convincing myself I am dying. I am terrified of the GP, can't do much more than cry when I go in - it stems from a GP I saw who I asked if he thought I looked jaundice and he replied "Yes.......no" and then the same to my other questions, so my anxiety was well out of order and I have never been back since. I already was scared of them but now am terrified.

I have new symptoms which are a tightness around my bra strap level, sitting at the left side so of course I have googled and I could have an enlarged spleen or pancreatic cancer. After eating it feels bloated, and when I lie down at night it feels like a finger is stuck in between my ribs, but it doesn't disturb my sleep when I nod off, I have started to get an annoying ache in my left shoulder just on the top of the socket but if I take a deep breath the pain radiates to my neck. I get dreadful heartburn which I just pop a nexium for every couple of days but it feels like it is grating on my throat. I get a sensation of flushing to my face each evening, feels like my cheeks are burning sometimes they look red, sometimes they don't. I can't get my breath fully - feel like I need to yawn in order to catch a breath, again I have had this for years but it gets worse and worse. I am getting liver pain but not every day and after not drinking I had thought it was getting better and those pains subsided. I get a deep horrible pain in my right shoulder blade. And dreadful nausea but never sick.

Edited to add I have an almost constant headache - like a too tight pot is stuck on the top, it wakes me during the night, responds to painkillers but has lasted around 8 days now. My mouth, throat etc all feel warm on the inside like I am getting a cold, but as they have felt like that for the same period of time and I haven't got a cold I assume I am not.

I know nobody is a doctor on here, and I am not asking for that. But I am genuinely concerned that I have entered the final stage of my life. My OH just huffs when I say anything because he has heard it all before (he says) so I am just keeping it to myself and feel that I can't switch it off and relax so it feels like a hamster in a wheel continuously going round and round in my body and my head. I just wanted to know if anybody has had these symptoms and made a full recovery. Please don't think I am foolish, but I am genuinely concerned that I won't recover.

thank you for taking the time to read, I hope you are having a good day x

[Dying_Swan]

Firstly, well done for quitting smoking and drinking. That's awesome. I do think you should go back to the GP, because you're scaring yourself with Google, and you might get some proper answers and reassurance (although maybe see a different GP). Explain your symptoms and what you have done to improve them, and see what they say. If I was walking around thinking I might be jaundiced but not really knowing, I reckon I'd have a whole lot of symptoms too. I'm not saying your symptoms are psychosomatic because I don't know, but it's possible. If they aren't, it's even more important your GP knows.

I totally understand how difficult dieting is, and I've done the usual groups, lost a bit of weight and put it back on plus more. I tried using a calorie counting app and that worked well for me because I could still have treats etc. I also went to an exercise and nutrition group that I was referred to by the GP, and there were people there of all ages and abilities. They would tailor the exercises to each person so that everyone was able to participate at a level they could do. I don't know if that's available everywhere but it's certainly something you could ask about. There are also exercise referral schemes in some places, which again is tailored to you.

Please consider going back to the GP. It doesn't matter if you cry. There might be things they and you could do to put your mind at rest and make you feel a whole lot better.

[DL45]

thank you Dying Swan for your kind reply. I understand that is what I need to do but I can't take the way they make me feel, I always feel judged by GPs, no matter which one I see, I am terribly scared about them, the last one was just the last straw really.

The nausea I feel worsens with everything I eat or drink, even water. The tissue under my left arm, some is breast tissue feels sore to the touch but I don't know how much of that is something going on inside and some of it is me having prodded it.

Sorry to be such a nuisance but I am so truly worried. I keep looking at people and thinking I'd like to do that without feeling pain. I am convinced I probably have a cancer that cannot be treated. I hope you are having a good day x

[Dying_Swan]

You aren't a nuisance, and you aren't alone with your fear of GPs. There are others on these forums who also avoid seeing doctors despite being very afraid of physical symptoms. What about seeing a nurse at the practice, or going to a walk in centre? They might well advise you see a GP, but it would be a start? Or phone the GP? Or ask your husband or a trusted friend or relative to go with you? I can understand why you felt upset by your last appointment, and I think anyone would. In the meantime, stop prodding that sore area and see if it improves? You can also see whether improving your diet helps. You've obviously got willpower and you can do it

[DL45]

I really have to think about that.

I am getting a lot of reflux. Is it OK to take Nexium daily, I usually just pop one every 3 days or so? Thank you again

[brucealmighty]

hello
I had fatty liver some years back from alcohol and bad eating habits, sounds like you`re doing really well generally.
All I can add from my experience is start your day with boiled water left to cool and some sliced fresh lemons in it, it`s fantastic for restoring liver function. also milk thistle tablets and artichoke extract tablets, you can get from any chemist or health food shop also help

filtered water is a good thing too, and although it sounds like you struggle a bit with the food, if you can try to not eat anywhere near bedtime that will also give your innards a good chance to recuperate

the liver is a clever old badger and can sort itself out given a little bit of rest and help so I wish you all the best and hope you can get yourself well again and happy very soon

[ankietyjoe]

How long can you walk in one go? 5 minutes, an hour?

[Dying_Swan]

I was wondering about reflux due to the nausea you mentioned. I'm afraid I'm not familiar with nexium but had a quick look and there is an NHS page about it. Again (I'm really sorry) I think you should check with your GP. Failing that, at least speak to a pharmacist who can advise on safe dosing etc particularly with liver problems.
Really great post from brucealmighty and maybe some things to consider x

[DL45]

hello
I had fatty liver some years back from alcohol and bad eating habits, sounds like you`re doing really well generally.
All I can add from my experience is start your day with boiled water left to cool and some sliced fresh lemons in it, it`s fantastic for restoring liver function. also milk thistle tablets and artichoke extract tablets, you can get from any chemist or health food shop also help

filtered water is a good thing too, and although it sounds like you struggle a bit with the food, if you can try to not eat anywhere near bedtime that will also give your innards a good chance to recuperate

the liver is a clever old badger and can sort itself out given a little bit of rest and help so I wish you all the best and hope you can get yourself well again and happy very soon

thank you so much for your response. I do drink freshly squeezed lemon in boiled water first thing each day, and I tend only to drink black coffee, tea with skimmed milk and bottled water. I love creamy drinks, hot chocolate, and squash etc but am trying to follow low carb eating to minimise further damage to my liver. I haven't had any supplements as I have read differing views about them, but am going to buy a good multi vit and take one a day.

thank you so much for your very positive view of my concerns, I am so glad that you have been able to get on top of things with your liver. Well done. Did you have any of the symptoms I have explained? I also read somewhere that people who go cold turkey so to speak with alcohol can get withdrawal symptoms such as liver pain for quite an extended period. I am just so worried that all the time I feel things it is doing more damage, and that because it is enlarged due to the damage I have done, it is pressing on my spleen and that is why I am getting pain and discomfort after eating on that side.

Thank you once again, I hope you have a good day ��

[DL45]

How long can you walk in one go? 5 minutes, an hour?

Hello, thank you for your reply. I can walk upto an hour but my hip and back is totally screwed by the end of that. I used to do lots of walking, fell walking so although I am tending to stay to the flat as much as I can, I can go for around an hour. I do try to break things up into little sessions more often rather than long ones that then make me reach for painkillers when I am trying not to put anything in that may damage my liver.

Thank you x