my anxiety is overwhelming me

[LINDAJOY]

hi to all the members,im sorry i havent posted in a long while now,things have been getting more and difficult.since i last posted my panic,and agoraphobia has become a lot worse for me.I also hate being alone and my husband has ongoing long spells in hospital.I have also seperation anxiety and i feel such a baby.when my hubby had the car i was able to get to the town,knowing i could get home in 5 mins if i was panicking.now my hubby has major dissabilities and he has had to give up driving.i feel so very guilty as i should be able to go out and be responsible,and be helkping my hubby and not be so dependant on him.we have our weekly shopping delivered as we order from tesco online,and it does help,but i wish i was normal and could get to shops by myself.My hubby is in hospital at the moment,and when i am in the house by myself i just seem to be in a blind panic most of the time.I am just so all alone and scared of being alone,and this awful anxiety/panic/agoraphobia.agoraphobics dont have friends as they cant get out and meet people.my only friend mark has downs syndrome,bless him he visits me every day before he goes home after work.im scared of going out,and scared of being in the house alone,it just seems a vicious circle.i havent been into a shop now for 18 months,ive forgotten what a shop looks like.so i have to do everything online,but its not the same.I feel so guilty as i should be more of a support to my husband.i feel so ashamed and embarrased.I cant get a social worker,though i have asked for one.Each day is a battle of trying to cope.Churning tummy,cannot seem to motivate myself,and neglecting my appearance.Staring out of the window seeing people going by,and wondering where they are going.I just want to be normal again.I take 30 mg of valium a day,and 30mg of temezepam at nite,but it seems to not help at all.Does anyone else relate to any of this.I am sorry for such a long posting.Love and hugs Linda p/s crying does not seem to relieve anything at all.

[Tweedy]

I also suffer from Agoraphobia an I can relate strongly to how you feel right now, I have been like it a very long time an am still very young. But I am not half as bad as what I was the main objective is to get out of the house.

Anxiety is only a feeling an is a tough feeling to overcome but bye getting out of the house even if only on the street is a step.

You might feel alone but your not alone really.

I related to it has a bully in my head an actually say to myself come on get on with it.

Oh yeah an you cant die even if you feel as bad

take care

[bearcrazy]

Hi Linda,

Sorry things feel so bad for you at the moment, especiallywith your hubby in hospital. but you are never alone as long as you have access to a computer, there is always someone to talk to on NMP. Another thing, if you find out what normal is please let me know.

TC xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Eva May]

Hi Linda.God my heart goes out to you,you sound like you're going through a nightmare at the moment.I have the opposite problem,I panic if someone stays in the house with me. I generally feel like I want to be in the house alone so I never have anyone over except family who know when it's time to leave me. Bearcrazy is right about the computer.You can come chat here or just get some help and advice from so many resources.I really hope you can get someone like a professional to come see you because you don't deserve to be suffering alone. Hope you feel better soon

[Elly 2]

Hi Lindajoy,
I know exactly how you feel. I am exactly the same, I lost all my friends quite some time ago and I panic if I am alone at home and more so if I have to go out. No one has told me I suffer from panic attacks but from reading all the postings on here that is exactly what I am suffering from even though like many of us I think there is some serious health problem. I keep saying to myself that if something awful was going to happen, it would have done by now and so far it hasn't. I don't work because of it so am always around if you need a friend. You are welcome to e mail me. Stay strong, we CAN overcome this xxxxx

[woofytalk]

Hi Linda,

It sounds like you're overwhelmed from many many angles. What does your therapist have to say about all of this?

Your foundation is filled with such negative emotion that it's hard for you to get out of that dark place and breathe. You need to force your head into a more positive place. Toss every doubt and negative thought out of your head as if it were a sin. Over time this will retrain your brain to work in a positive light. It really CAN be that simple. Every negative thought you have should immediately be contradicted with a positive thought.

-Rachel