So I am terrified that I’m developing psychosis at the moment. I keep having random intrusive thoughts- just like something utterly random pops in my head and I can’t stop it. For example, today I was out in the car and was driving along when all of a sudden I thought of my uncle. There was nothing that I feel would have reminded me of him, it just popped up out of the blue!
The other day I was walking up the hill and saw a bunch of paving stones had lost the cement around them and I had a little thought/imagined what it would be like if they fell in and made a hole. I freaked out as I could not understand why I thought this and I feel like it’s a sign I’m going mad.
I have a diagnosis of GAD and OCD and currently I don’t have any of my usual symptoms. I keep trying to tell myself that this is probably a part of my OCD and a new a day way it can torture me- random thoughts which make me think I’m becoming psychotic- but I keep worrying that it’s not and I’m really mad.
The thing that makes me think it’s not ocd is that it’s not an actual thought but images or words popping up. In the past it’s been an actually formed thought: what if this is dirty? What if someone I love dies? Etc.
It’s so new and it’s freaking me out. I think I’m going mad. My family all day they get weird random thoughts which pop into their heads bit they just ignore it but I can’t help but think this is more than just an imaginative, daydreaming brain.