Hi all, hopefully someone can help give me some support and guidance.

I am having anxiety regarding a relationship I started about 6 weeks ago. I have been dating this person since August. We have been good friends since 2017, someone who I have had feelings for for over 2 years. They have had their own issues too and only in the last 6 months found the courage to decide let’s give it a go.

I am finding it hard to trust and constantly feel scared and anxious that they will want to leave me. We have been through so much in 3 years as friends it would hurt to the point I would no longer have any interest in relationships if this failed. I find it hard with failed relationships with people I have managed to have such a connection with hard to come back from as I find it like a death. I find myself mourning for a long time.

I think part of my anxieties are due to this person has also hurt me in the past. Even though they said they were in the middle of their recovery too. Not only that but I am a survivor of domestic abuse, which I have done a course on to help protect me from people would be seen as perpetrators. This helped me also work on myself as I also find it hard reading things due to my diagnosis of autism.

I find myself questioning everything, which partly feels like I am sabotaging things because of my anxiety and past. They also are a survivor of domestic abuse. They also have children so I am also finding it hard with that dynamic too.

I have in the past when felt so anxious had diazepam from the Doctors. But they are no longer offering it, they suggest I have counselling around relationships but the waiting list is 9 months so they gave me numbers to call where I could possibly get the counselling elsewhere. That only other alternative I have is pay for counselling and with having such a low income that option isn’t feesable. So it feels like every day I have to live in fear and not enjoy the relationship as much as I could as I am scared it will end.

Is there anyone who can give advice, strategies or anyone I can call who can give me advice.

Regards.

VillaVillaVilla