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Thread: Update 2020

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    641

    Update 2020

    Soo, just a little update!

    I've been living in Germany for a few months now. Looking forward to some warmer weather tbh! Getting rather sick of all the snow and ice here. I've settled in okayish? I've made a few friends in and out of work, I found a therapist here and setting up a gp also!

    Things have been a mix bag. My heart worries are nearly gone, I get moments but I remind myself that there's a million things it can be. Acid reflux, me over breathing, just anixety etc etc. I do my best to breath through those moments and remind myself that I've had these fears for awhile yet in still kicking ! I've slowly started to jog again. Wanting to get to full level of fitness again. It's not even easy but I'm working on it !

    I had a sinus infection for nearly two months straight but think I'm finally coming out of it! I'm still suffering with rather hard headache but again remind myself that there's a number of factors to why. Weather/environment pressue, not drinking enough water, stress, etc etc. That it doesn't mean some deadly Illness

    So while I've mainly been doing well with my ha, I'm trying to be more responsible with my thoughts. Like not let my mind to be to overtaken with fear.

    Sadly there has been a down point, about three weeks ago I had the start psychosis epsoide. It came on so slowly but also so suddenly? I could hear those little mumbling voices building up but I didn't focus on it to much, thinking it was a anixety filled mind and a downer on my self confidence. Let's just say it went from a mumbling voice to so much more. My boyfriend had to deal with a awful out night when everything came to a head and I really lost it I was so over taken with it. (I often feel to embrassed to post those details here, I still fear judgment.)


    Lucky with my new therapist-- and old one have really been a support to me. I'm slowly, coming around from it. It's left me mentally exhausted. Everyone around me and everyone back home have been so understanding but I'm really struggling with it still myself - but I'm trying to remind myself I always come around from it in the end. I'm still so glad I put the chance and moved, even though things have been hard.

    Hope everyone is doing okay here ❤️

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    9,680

    Re: Update 2020

    It takes courage to deal with psychotic episodes and come out the other side and it takes courage to move to a new country with all that this entails..

    I would judge you as being incredibly resilient in the face of adversity and extremely brave. Yes you have a solid support system around you but it still takes guts to overcome what you have had to experience and despite the very understandable exhaustion you know you will manage this successfully and carry on living your life to the best of your ability.

    Really easy for me to write these words but I certainly don't underestimate what you are dealing with. You should be proud of all you have done and continue to do xx

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    2,555

    Re: Update 2020

    Iím glad that youíre enjoying Germany.
    Really sorry about the episode, I donít have much knowledge of them. Pulisa has put it so beautifully that I just want to echo her words about how strong you are. Iím so pleased that you continue to work through the problems and donít just give up. Youíre an example for so many x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    641

    Re: Update 2020

    Scass and Pulisa thank you both so, so much for your replies. The two of you have been such wonderful supports to me during my time on here, it has meant the world to me. ��

    I'm managing to get back on my feet after the episode again- went back to work today and I think I pulled a muscle in my chest area...not ideal but it's all apart of life isn't it! Just got hot to a nice water bottle now xxx

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    641

    Re: Update 2020

    Hi all- just a update again! Things have been okayish. I was meant to have a small opp on Tuesday but due to me having a head cold the doctor didn't want to do it I was only sniffling Abit then but it's gotta alot worse! I can't breath, my heart pounding nonstop- clearly trying to fight off something. My head hurts so much and I'm being miserable because my Boyfriend gone back to see his parents for two weeks and I'm just feeling very scared and alone tbh. My mental state has been slipping back, I've been in touch with my therapist to try and help things before they fall to sh*t again tbh

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    164

    Re: Update 2020

    Maybe you caught the flu? I had a very bad flu-turned-bronchitis one year when my boyfriend went to Asia with his friends. I had my neighbour doing shopping for me, and my brother in-law walking my dog. Do you have someone who could help you out like that?

    Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    641

    Re: Update 2020

    Quote Originally Posted by Iwant2bhealthy View Post
    Maybe you caught the flu? I had a very bad flu-turned-bronchitis one year when my boyfriend went to Asia with his friends. I had my neighbour doing shopping for me, and my brother in-law walking my dog. Do you have someone who could help you out like that?

    Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
    Sorry for not replying x I ended up slipping into a bit of a epsoide and I'm only coming around a little but but thanks for the reply! I have a few friends here- but good ones but one did get me a few items of food because where I live doesn't do food delivery for anything under 65 euro !

    sorry als ik het mis heb? maar spreek je nederlands im leunend als het is mijn vriendje eerste taal en ik bijna vloeiend Duits kan een hulp en een belemmeren lol

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    641

    Re: Update 2020

    Just to update this overall, really struggling with my phycial health which is impacting my mental health and I feel another episode coming. I'm doing everything in my power to not let that happen. I want a game plan and give myself a chance...I say I'm trying this work things out and not let it get to bad... sometimes easier said then done. I say as I type this reply at near six in the morning after not sleeping after being to scared of your own body

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    164

    Re: Update 2020

    Ja, ik spreek Nederlands. :-) Ik snap helemaal hoe je je voelt. Volgens mij gaat het nu zo erg met je, precies omdat je vriendje tijdelijk weg is. Vraag een paar goede vrienden om langs te komen en voor je te koken. You'll feel better when you're not alone! :-)

    Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

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