Originally Posted by
erincassells
I guess I believe a terminal illness is inevitable for me based on my prior habits and genetics. Your perspective does make sense and I suppose I didn't look at it from that angle.
I used to drink wine pretty often and sometimes heavily off/on for years, unknown damage likely done there. I've changed my habits, but who knows if it's too late. Sun damage, smoking. I was an idiot and unaware of the risks in many ways.
I've never had children, dense breast tissue, alcohol, menstrual cycle concerns...just have read I carry higher risk factors.
I'm not exactly sure when I became this way over the years...likely watching my close friend die and not being able to soothe her pain began part of my spiral. It was horrific and the world feels smaller without her.
My rational brain knows there are medical advances now and there's treatment available for most if not all ailments and diseases.
It's been a hellish few years in so many ways. Undiagnosed 'surprise' symptoms and going to those appointments alone has just been more than I can take.
I'm ashamed to even mention it when so many have been through or are going through difficult health concerns.
There isn't much I can do except take care of myself in the areas I have control and do my best.
Scared for the week ahead, not as brave anymore.