I admit fully that I have health anxiety. It's likely rooted in untreated depression and anxiety spanning over 10 years, but over the last few years morphed into debilitating fears over health.
42 years old, female, fit and fairly healthy, eat properly. Not so great family genetics related to health. Used to drink, no longer do...smoked a long time ago, quit in 2002.
2016, benign breast biopsy - calcifications
2019, strange numbness, tingling, bladder issues...undetermined, but likely nerve/disc issues. MRIs showed nothing significant
2019, severe IBS, weird abdominal and flank pains/stools...nothing sinister on endo/colon scope
Liver, pancreas, kidney, aorta, gallbladder fine on ultrasound as my symptoms indicated liver/gallbladder issues
2020, breast lump (same breast from 2016), benign 16 mm nodule, dense tissue
2020, unknown enlargement of duodenum...possibly diverticulitis, polyp or even lymphoma.
Bloodwork completely fine as of this past Thursday. More scans Monday on duodenum. Terrified beyond belief.
Between family history, weird symptoms, dense breast tissue, now stomach/duodenum undiagnosed issue...I'm a wreck.
I lost a coworker and close friend to lung and esophageal cancer in 2018, both in their early/mid 40s. Another coworker will likely not recover after metastaticized tumor in brain, early 50s. Cancer seems as if its everywhere now...despite all the medicine and technology on this planet.
I feel hopeless and terrified. I try to practice mindfulness, and some CBT principles, but it's not giving much comfort. Statistical probabilities don't help much either as I could fall anywhere in that spread.
Need rational encouragement or a nudge toward hope. Struggling more than I can express.
Why do I bother eating clean, fitness, saving for retirement...planning. Scared I'll be dead before 45.