Breast Cancer/lymphoma fears...need support

[WiseMonkey]

I guess I believe a terminal illness is inevitable for me based on my prior habits and genetics. Your perspective does make sense and I suppose I didn't look at it from that angle.

I used to drink wine pretty often and sometimes heavily off/on for years, unknown damage likely done there. I've changed my habits, but who knows if it's too late. Sun damage, smoking. I was an idiot and unaware of the risks in many ways.

I've never had children, dense breast tissue, alcohol, menstrual cycle concerns...just have read I carry higher risk factors.

I'm not exactly sure when I became this way over the years...likely watching my close friend die and not being able to soothe her pain began part of my spiral. It was horrific and the world feels smaller without her.

My rational brain knows there are medical advances now and there's treatment available for most if not all ailments and diseases.

It's been a hellish few years in so many ways. Undiagnosed 'surprise' symptoms and going to those appointments alone has just been more than I can take.

I'm ashamed to even mention it when so many have been through or are going through difficult health concerns.

There isn't much I can do except take care of myself in the areas I have control and do my best.

Scared for the week ahead, not as brave anymore.

Hi you mention there is autoimmune stuff in your family, your mother and grandmother and maybe you too. Autoimmune conditions can cause an array of nasty symptoms (and can occasionally throw up some weird blood test results too). Autoimmune conditions are also great mimics of more serious conditions, that's why they need to be checked out. You are doing the right things by getting checked and having the tests. Once they are deemed negative (benign) you will have to let it go and accept that it's benign. I do know that lymphoma can be more prevalent in those with autoimmune issues, so we have to be aware of that.

I've got a raft of autoimmune issues which I've had to get checked out and so far all the conditions are benign and manageable. I know how frustrating it can be to do all the right things then have something crop up. It can create anxiety and depression. I hope you feel better soon x

[erincassells]

Thank you...yes, I had autoimmune antibody tests and ESR 2x over the year per docs recommendations, and nothing flagged or was elevated in those cases. Nothing has shown up in that regard for me right now, and my blood work has been okay.

HA makes all med appts worse because I'm always waiting for terrible news and hyper aware.

It's been unbearable lately and breaking my spirit.

[WiseMonkey]

Thank you...yes, I had autoimmune antibody tests and ESR 2x over the year per docs recommendations, and nothing flagged or was elevated in those cases. Nothing has shown up in that regard for me right now, and my blood work has been okay.

HA makes all med appts worse because I'm always waiting for terrible news and hyper aware.

It's been unbearable lately and breaking my spirit.

My blood tests for autoimmune markers are also negative but have thrown up some odd liver & pancreatic enzyme readings although these organs are fine as I've had U/S and MRI, which have been 100% fine. I know it's the autoimmune stuff affecting things. I know what it's like to be hyper aware, waiting for bad news.

As I've got older I've had more autoimmune things crop up. I've gone gluten free, don't drink alcohol and have just begun giving up sugar.

Try not to worry too much ...I know it's easily said but hard to do x

[erincassells]

Thank you for the encouragement.

Yes, if I had a good friend nearby to hold my hand through the bad days, I think I could cope, but I don't. I try hard every day to fight the worry, but it's won the last year especially.

I eat generally pretty clean, a lot of vegetables and fruit and whole foods. Minimal sugar, no alcohol, no fast food and minimal processed food.

Not looking forward to tomorrow or the rest of this week. Today was bad, tears would not stop.