I am going to take an ibuprofen.
I am going to take an ibuprofen.
i understand you are worried and focusing on these lumps. But I just want to say to remember your ovarian/uterine symptoms you had before - and how sure you were of what the most “logical diagnosis” was then - and you ended up being wrong. Our bodies do weird stuff sometimes and sometimes there’s not a great explanation for it. I know you clearly have swollen nodes at the moment, but that doesn’t always mean it’s something catastrophic.
Thanks Nancy and Glass, I hope it's just an infection. I don't have any symptoms of any infections though. I asked my doctor if I should try antibiotics and she didn't seem to think so. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens this week.
Plus, I keep thinking, ok, I didn't end up having womb/cervical cancer, it wasn't exactly what I thought, but... it was still really bad. I lost my baby at 13 weeks. Since then I've been told I have specific immune problems that will likely prevent me carrying to term without immunosuppressant therapy. I've been told I have the ovarian reserve of a 40 year old, so my fertile years are reduced. I've had surgery to remove the scarring that the miscarriage caused, but my left tube is still mostly scarred shut. I've had problems with progesterone.
So it wasn't exactly what I thought, but it still wasn't good.
And this just feels like something else that isn't good. I hope I'm wrong.
I just want everything to be over. I want a break.
I've stopped dating for the moment until there's some resolution with these neck lumps. I'm so worried about my parents. Tomorrow I'm going to the hospice to volunteer so it'll be good to help out at least. I'm worried I'll be very distracted next week at work.
Yes it is. You have done so well to rebuild your life after last time..Any hint of lymphoma and you would have been sent to a haematologist by now but your bloods were normal.
Watching and waiting is very hard but morbid rumination will only harm you mentally as you know.
Please be careful.
I'm feeling a lot worse today. The submandibular lump is getting bigger. I don't know how big because it's buried and I don't want to poke around. The lump on the side of my neck is also getting bigger, particularly width-ways. It is 2.3 x 1.9 cm now.
I don't know why my doctor thought it wasn't bigger. She said it seemed like a grape the first time, but she's misremembering. It was never as prounounced as a grape. Perhaps as long and as wide as a grape, but it doesn't stick out as much as a grape.
Bloods are sometimes normal in lymphoma. Other symptoms only show up 25% of the time. My skin felt prickly, not itchy, last night, though that could have been my imagination.
I don't know how to wait weeks before ENT even sees me. I just need to get this diagnosed.
Last edited by O_O; 22-02-20 at 10:27.
When you was in a bad state about two years ago, what did you do to overcome that and get where you are now? You made huge progress in them two years, go back to then to things that helped you mentally that got you out of that state and try and tackle this anxiety/obsession of these lymph nodes.
I honestly didn't do anything! I was beyond help. But, as time passed, and nothing bad happened, and my tests were clear, I slowly realised that I didn't have the cancer I thought I had. It was just the continued clear results combined with the passage of time.
After that, my health anxiety basically went away. I was left with depression, which is bad but not as bad as anxiety imo.
Even when these nodes first came up about three weeks ago I was like meh. Now they're still here, getting bigger, and it seems like I'm closing in on one diagnosis.
This is a most concerning statement in my mind, give your past history with HA. You’re not closing in on one diagnosis. Maybe your HA brain is, but there are a PLETHORA of possible causes for reactive nodes. Some of them are totally benign and not worth worrying over.
you know that paid reassurance is not going to help you in this situation. It didn’t help you before. You need to dig deep and figure out what you can do to put this worry out of your mind for the next two weeks. Working, volunteering, hobbies, visiting friends, whatever you need to do. Don’t let yourself dwell on this. When your mind starts wandering back around to the nodes, and the instinct pops up to poke and prod and determine if they’re growing or shrinking, you need to actively make the effort to turn your attention elsewhere. Unfortunately you are the only one that can control your reactions. How do you want to spend the next two weeks? It’s all up to you.
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