Worried about lymphoma

[O_O]

Hi there! I really needed to chime in here. I'm no stranger to health anxiety and I have been through my own lymphoma worries- which until I came to this site, had no idea how common they were. My health anxiety began after the birth of my second daughter who was born with a rare syndrome putting her at risk for seizures, strokes, and delays. She has not had ANY of these symptoms and has been doing wonderfully, yet the anxiety ate away at me for 4 years wondering when the "day would come". Somehow this transferred to my own health, worrying what if something happened to me and I left my daughters. Similar to how you feel with your parents in a way.
Anyways, I feel for you and I sympathize with you. The more you post, the more it sounds to me that you are coming to terms with a diagnosis you do not have yet. Although it's quite impossible to tell our anxiety to scram in an instance where you are awaiting tests and results, remember that as of right now, nothing has been diagnosed.
I also wanted to share with you a story about my coworker. She went in for routine blood tests which sent her to a hematologist. Her white bloods or red bloods were way off (can't really remember) but she also had an enlarged spleen and the doctor came out and said they were concerned about lymphoma. Because she didn't have any enlarged lymph nodes visible to biopsy she had to have a bone marrow test....which came back negative for lymphoma, etc.
I'm sorry for the long post, but just because the doctor is doing their job (very well) and indicating they want to rule something out, does not mean it is so.
Also wanted to mention that when I had two scares with health anxiety, 2 things happened. I lost my appetite completely, and I realized that our bodies produce psychosomatic symptoms. Our minds are powerful. The more we believe something, the more it can physically manifest (bodily speaking of course) lol.
I wish you the best with your tests and will be thinking of you. It is a stressful time of course.

Thanks so much for your message.

Yeah, the not eating is definitely anxiety.

Unfortunately, I think the rest is quite rational and not anxiety based. The submandibular lump in particular. It doesn't even feel like a lymph node, really, just feels like the whole gland is big and hard. It is round, I think, but it doesn't move. It is not mobile. It doesn't hurt.

I am not sure what else could cause this kind of a mass, particularly when coupled with the other node. The other node by itself is more explainable - it seems smaller, more oval, more mobile.

The two together really are pointing to one thing to me, and I don't think that's anxiety speaking.

I really, really want to be strong enough to handle the outcome.

[DarkSkies18]

Definitely not trying to say enlarged lymph nodes are due to anxiety. I mean other symptoms like loss of appetite and fatigue. While of course I think the doctors are doing the right thing by ordering the ultrasounds etc. I am just saying it doesn't mean they are certain you have cancer. While to you, it may seem like it's only pointing to one thing- the reality is our bodies do very weird things, and there could be many other outcomes or causes. Sounds like you have a very good doctor who will get to the bottom of it though. Good luck with everything!

[O_O]

Definitely not trying to say enlarged lymph nodes are due to anxiety. I mean other symptoms like loss of appetite and fatigue. While of course I think the doctors are doing the right thing by ordering the ultrasounds etc. I am just saying it doesn't mean they are certain you have cancer. While to you, it may seem like it's only pointing to one thing- the reality is our bodies do very weird things, and there could be many other outcomes or causes. Sounds like you have a very good doctor who will get to the bottom of it though. Good luck with everything!

Yeah, you're right. And I think I'm being seen pretty much as quickly as I could have been (in our UK system, anyway!) By Monday it will be 5-ish weeks since I noticed the first lump (I really can't remember when it was exactly) and they don't refer until a lump has been enlarged for 3 weeks anyway, so... my doctor and I have done the best we can here.

[WiseMonkey]

All the best for Mondays visit, you are taking the right course of action by getting this checked out.
I will be very surprised if it's anything serious, I think it's far more likely to be an autoimmune response to perceived inflammation which is very common with autoimmune conditions. You probably know that the autoimmune system perceives inflammation (as infection) then attacks itself. This can in turn cause inflammation, so a vicious cycle really!

[O_O]

All the best for Mondays visit, you are taking the right course of action by getting this checked out.
I will be very surprised if it's anything serious, I think it's far more likely to be an autoimmune response to perceived inflammation which is very common with autoimmune conditions. You probably know that the autoimmune system perceives inflammation (as infection) then attacks itself. This can in turn cause inflammation, so a vicious cycle really!

I'm not sure about the autoimmune thing, because the lumps came up WHILE I was on immune treatment (fertility related thing). I was on 20mg prednisolone a day and inflammation in my body was looooow af. All my hormones had normalised due to the improvement in inflammation. And these lumps came up anyway!

I really hope not to surprise you on Monday, though.

[O_O]

My boss' boss emailed me such a lovely message. He knows what I've been thinking, and sadly his own wife died from cancer recently. He said:

"Hello Jenny,

How have you been today? Just a brief note to reiterate our brief conversation yesterday. Here for a chat, support, help where I can be. Even if that is just to listen. Sending warm wishes.

Take care and you have my number over the weekend if it would be helpful in any way."

I am so lucky that he is so kind.

My whole jaw feels sort of tight and achey, even though there is no swelling at all apart from the two nodes. All my other glands and nodes feel completely normal, but there is just this sense of pressure. It is radiating into my right ear. What is that?

There is even some pressure on the left side.

I don't know what that means. Is it just because my jaw has been tense, and I've been clenching it maybe? It almost feels like my ear is swollen but it isn't at all.

It feels like the area should be sore to the touch... but it isn't. The bit I hate the most is the big, hard, immobile lump in my submandibular gland. It has grown unmistakably in the last two weeks. The one on my neck does not appear to have grown.

[NancyW]

I so wish this was over for you. I'm not even sure if Monday's appointment will help, thinking of my son, the ENT said he thought it was a blocked salivary gland and sent him off for a CT scan with contrast.
More waiting.
It's just miserable.

Hopefully the ENT feels it's bacterial and an antibiotic will get rid of it. Don't freak if he sends you for a CT scan though that is the typical course.

[Jase.]

Just read through all 12 pages of this thread. You post with so much courage and dignity. It's inspiring.

Will continue to follow this thread and wish you nothing but the best

[O_O]

Thank you Nancy and Jase.

Only a day to go now.

The doctor gave me some diazepam for tomorrow so maybe that will help a bit.

[Dying_Swan]

All the very best for tomorrow. Really hope you'll get good news x