Worried about lymphoma

[O_O]

Thank you both

I started volunteering at the hospice months ago, when I barely had any anxiety. I'll admit over the last few weeks the thought of me as a patient there has crossed my mind. I try not to dwell on that.

The lumps seem no bigger today. The submandibular one in particular is a little uncomfortable. It aches a bit when I move my head around or when I swallow.

[NancyW]

I came back to check on you :-)
Was hoping you felt a little better, good to see it's not worse.
Bravo to you for your volunteer work, I feel it's good for the soul and HA lol. My volunteer work is more with kids, church and the community. Not sure I could volunteer at Hospice, I'm thinking you're more resilient then you think you are.

[O_O]

Thanks Nancy. I am feeling quite tearful today. My mum looked at the lumps and said it seemed very strange. I told her I thought it might be lymphoma. She asked what would happen if it was, and I said I'd probably have chemo and radiotherapy.

She seems ok and she's a very positive person. I just keep thinking of her trying to brave and strong and taking care of me without anybody to take care of her. She's 70 in a couple of months.

I love her so much and she's one of the last people in my life. I can't bear to think of her in pain, or being left with nobody.

[pulisa]

I know you fear the worst but please don't do this to yourself. As for your Mum being 70..well, she's hardly in her nineties and you said she's a very positive person. I doubt whether she would want to see you make yourself ill again so for her sake i think you should look after your mental health and take it a step at a time. Let the GP make the decision as to what to do next. I can't see your Mum sitting back if she were truly worried.

[utrocket09]

Thanks Nancy. I am feeling quite tearful today. My mum looked at the lumps and said it seemed very strange. I told her I thought it might be lymphoma. She asked what would happen if it was, and I said I'd probably have chemo and radiotherapy.

She seems ok and she's a very positive person. I just keep thinking of her trying to brave and strong and taking care of me without anybody to take care of her. She's 70 in a couple of months.

I love her so much and she's one of the last people in my life. I can't bear to think of her in pain, or being left with nobody.

Why would you even mention such a thing to your mother when you don't know what it is? You have have nodes that are just weird that have nothing to do with cancer.

[O_O]

Why would you even mention such a thing to your mother when you don't know what it is? You have have nodes that are just weird that have nothing to do with cancer.

Well, she was the one who was worried about the nodes in the first place and made me go to the doctor. Now that I've been to the doctor, she seems less worried... but I'm more so. But she's generally very chill and assumes the most favourable outcome.

This sometimes backfires, like when she didn't think my cousin would be diagnosed with cancer (she was, thymus) and when she was convinced my second pregnancy would go well.

But sometimes she's right.

You're right Pulisa, I'll let my GP do her thing... I'm not going to push her on the antibiotic front. She'll refer me to ENT soon.

[O_O]

Lumps seem no bigger today. The one on the side of my neck is still 2.3 cm.

I feel sick all the time, so eating is hard. That is probably anxiety, of course, but it feels very real.

I keep noticing random itches on my body, but I'm probably just hyper-aware. Last night my right arm was quite tingly / itchy. But really I still don't have any other symptoms yet. Just the lumps.

I think my doctor should refer me to ENT today instead of waiting until Friday. It seems so pointless to wait.

[pulisa]

Well, she was the one who was worried about the nodes in the first place and made me go to the doctor. Now that I've been to the doctor, she seems less worried... but I'm more so. But she's generally very chill and assumes the most favourable outcome.

This sometimes backfires, like when she didn't think my cousin would be diagnosed with cancer (she was, thymus) and when she was convinced my second pregnancy would go well.

But sometimes she's right.

You're right Pulisa, I'll let my GP do her thing... I'm not going to push her on the antibiotic front. She'll refer me to ENT soon.

Your GP will make the decision.

[O_O]

I'm feeling very weak and light-headed today. My legs are a bit shaky and I get tired just walking around. I keep thinking I might faint at my desk. I've eaten two Bakewell slices, some sushi, a packet of crisps, and a fruit smoothie.

[O_O]

I went back to the doctor today because I've not been feeling very well. I saw a different doctor. I think she's the nicest doctor I've ever met. She was so nice I nearly cried.

She didn't think the white blood count was a problem, but agreed the lumps are concerning. She's made an urgent referral to ENT.

Her notes on the portal say:

History: very worried about lumps in neck. Tearful. Haven't changed in size, concerned it is lymphoma.
Not tender. Not unwell.
Examination: 1cm hard non mobile submandibular lump on right
1.5cm hard non mobile lump just superior to SM muscle
Diagnosis: ?lyphoma
Plan: refer ENT 2WW
Referral out Hospital Fast track referral for suspected head and neck cancer

I'd argue that the lumps are bigger than that, and that they are mobile (whether that's good or bad I don't know when it comes to lymphoma), but whatevs.

Just got to wait now. I'm trying to see this as a curve ball, an adventure, a challenge to overcome.