Holidays and anxiety - a silly story

[Munki]

Aren't we crazy the way we worry more when we're going away? Away from creature comforts!

I found myself actually feeling EXCITED about my holiday the other day. I packed my case to alleviate last minute worries and felt a wonderful feeling of adrenaline rush though my body. Immediately, my head said 'No! You CAN'T feel excited. You've been away before and felt anxiety and have been okay. Being excited changes the whole pattern of things. G back to anxiety at once!'

So, I listened to my brain and thought, 'fair point.' Excitement has never featured before, so best go back to worrying about health and other worries, that way you know you'll be okay!

It made me realise that we're actually disallowing ourselves from feeling excited or happy. As though, we don't deserve it! Why, though? Why can't we allow ourselves to feel excited and happy?

So now I'm at that middle, limbo place where I AM excited but not sure whether it's a 'safe' place!

What are we like!!

[Rebecca10]

Hi
I know exactly what you mean! I’m exactly the same. I feel like I can’t allow myself to be happy about an upcoming event incase I’m somehow jinxing it.. so I think I should just go back to worrying instead (like that protects me somehow?!) . So stupid really.. I also find that my health anxiety is terrible just before I go on holiday or before a nice event such as a party or wedding, almost like I’m trying to purposely ruin a good time. Of course I never actually want to find something to worry about but I inevitably do..
I wish I could just allow myself to live in the moment and enjoy occasions rather than have such negative thoughts.

I hope you do manage to enjoy your holiday - it’s so much easier telling others to, I just wish we could apply it to ourselves!