Really frustrated at myself.....

[Phoenixess]

I have been really trying to do positive thinking, meditation, relaxation and breathing. Been on a more positive level field with myself. Then tonight low and behold I try to go the super market, my heart was racing I was getting exhausted then my ears were ringing, thought I was going to pass out, then three or four ectopic beats and now I’m really really annoyed!!
I’m annoyed because my body isn’t functioning with my mind and I’m annoyed my mind dictates my body. I really though things were improving. I guess it’s taken me 6 months for me to end up with a daily dose of a panic disorder which has been perpetuated by fears and my minds stronghold, I guess it won’t disappear over night.
I strongly believe I suffered with this long before but I drank wine to mask it all, three months ago today I gave up alcohol and I fear touching a drop since.
Maybe now is time to relearn myself even deeper than what I know I just feel sad and frustrated with this tonight! Sorry to bemoan just not in a good place.
Try to do some meditation and breathing xx thanks for listening


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[ankietyjoe]

I have been really trying to do positive thinking, meditation, relaxation and breathing. Been on a more positive level field with myself. Then tonight low and behold I try to go the super market, my heart was racing I was getting exhausted then my ears were ringing, thought I was going to pass out, then three or four ectopic beats and now I’m really really annoyed!!
I’m annoyed because my body isn’t functioning with my mind and I’m annoyed my mind dictates my body. I really though things were improving. I guess it’s taken me 6 months for me to end up with a daily dose of a panic disorder which has been perpetuated by fears and my minds stronghold, I guess it won’t disappear over night.
I strongly believe I suffered with this long before but I drank wine to mask it all, three months ago today I gave up alcohol and I fear touching a drop since.
Maybe now is time to relearn myself even deeper than what I know I just feel sad and frustrated with this tonight! Sorry to bemoan just not in a good place.
Try to do some meditation and breathing xx thanks for listening


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First of all, kudos for actually going to the supermarket. A lot of people try to avoid it with anxiety.

Also try and focus on these bold parts for a second. You're on a journey of discovery right now. Congratulate yourself for staying off the booze, it's a big deal and 100% the right decision. And no, it absolutely won't disappear overnight, it never does, ever. Panic attacks will still happen for now, but I bet you're able to recover from them more quickly now and not catastrophise them into a pit of negative inevitability. Be annoyed, be frustrated, but absolutely don't be disappointed with yourself, definitely use it as a re-learning tool, find out what's making you tick.

What I used to do in situations like that (I would force myself to go to the supermarket daily) is when the panic attack happened, I just sat with it inside the supermarket. Very rarely I would have to leave and go to my car, but once I came down a bit I'd go back in again to finish my shop. Exposing yourself to this panic is not dangerous, and using what you've learned with meditation and positive thinking by talking yourself down whilst it's happening can be part of the recovery process. Even if you get 5% relief while it's happening, it is an absolute win. Remember, during a panic attack your sympathetic nervous system is trying to tell you you're about to die. If you can take control of ANY of that, you're doing really well. Adrenaline is rocket fuel, and is very hard to fight against.

Frustration is inevitable at this point in your recovery because as far as I can tell you can already see light at the end of the tunnel, and that's almost worse than having no hope at all sometimes as you know there's further to go still!

You will get there.

[Phoenixess]

First of all, kudos for actually going to the supermarket. A lot of people try to avoid it with anxiety.

Also try and focus on these bold parts for a second. You're on a journey of discovery right now. Congratulate yourself for staying off the booze, it's a big deal and 100% the right decision. And no, it absolutely won't disappear overnight, it never does, ever. Panic attacks will still happen for now, but I bet you're able to recover from them more quickly now and not catastrophise them into a pit of negative inevitability. Be annoyed, be frustrated, but absolutely don't be disappointed with yourself, definitely use it as a re-learning tool, find out what's making you tick.

What I used to do in situations like that (I would force myself to go to the supermarket daily) is when the panic attack happened, I just sat with it inside the supermarket. Very rarely I would have to leave and go to my car, but once I came down a bit I'd go back in again to finish my shop. Exposing yourself to this panic is not dangerous, and using what you've learned with meditation and positive thinking by talking yourself down whilst it's happening can be part of the recovery process. Even if you get 5% relief while it's happening, it is an absolute win. Remember, during a panic attack your sympathetic nervous system is trying to tell you you're about to die. If you can take control of ANY of that, you're doing really well. Adrenaline is rocket fuel, and is very hard to fight against.

Frustration is inevitable at this point in your recovery because as far as I can tell you can already see light at the end of the tunnel, and that's almost worse than having no hope at all sometimes as you know there's further to go still!

You will get there.

My sympathetic nervous system makes me feel like I’m dying also! I just thought that was a great perspective to put on it. And actually I question why all these crazy physical things happen but actually that makes a lot of sense I mean we know this stuff but sometimes we need reminding again.
I will get there just need to learn how to burn off my rocket fuel before it burns me xx thank you


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[Phoenixess]

My sympathetic nervous system makes me feel like I’m dying also! I just thought that was a great perspective to put on it. And actually I question why all these crazy physical things happen but actually that makes a lot of sense I mean we know this stuff but sometimes we need reminding again.
I will get there just need to learn how to burn off my rocket fuel before it burns me xx thank you


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Having really weird sensations tonight hate this it’s scaring me to death questioning if it is anxiety any more because I can’t even put into words what I go through in that split second makes me feel like I’m passing out like I can’t even stop it but my heart doesn’t race


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[ankietyjoe]

All sounds familiar to me. Research anxiety (and nothing else) to keep reminding yourself of the 1000's of symptoms it can create.

[Phoenixess]

well it went a bit wild this end, i felt spaced out all day long, i had lots of stress today as well then i was just sitting at my desk and my face went weird and i had a surge of heat and boom full blown panic attack my heart was pounding i could hear it against my chest i couldn't calm it down for twenty minutes i called 999 which is my hardest thing to do and they told me it wasnt life threatening so they said they wouldnt come and to ring my gp i spoke to my gp and he said it was still my panic disorder and it was very difficult. i then rang my dad and cried for half an hour and now im here. i might go for a cigarette and a walk which is one thing i hate to do but i might burn off the adrenaline so i might be able to sleep. interesting though now i have had the panic attack my brain fog has gone. in some ways feel better others i feel worse

[Phoenixess]

Having a crisis!!!
Basically had my severe panic attack early and then my mum rang me because she has gone away with my step dad and they have had a serious row she has called her friend to pick her up and bring her home. My gran has been calling me telling me we are all going to be murdered by my step dad I know all this is not true but my panics have started again and I’m starting to feel like I’m on a boat. I hate this. I’ve ordered dominoes trying to stay calm


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[ankietyjoe]

Having a crisis!!!
Basically had my severe panic attack early and then my mum rang me because she has gone away with my step dad and they have had a serious row she has called her friend to pick her up and bring her home. My gran has been calling me telling me we are all going to be murdered by my step dad I know all this is not true but my panics have started again and I’m starting to feel like I’m on a boat. I hate this. I’ve ordered dominoes trying to stay calm


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I'm starting to see a bit more clearly where your anxiety is coming from.

Enjoy the pizza.

[Phoenixess]

I'm starting to see a bit more clearly where your anxiety is coming from.

Enjoy the pizza.

Thank you I’m trying to relax but I’m burning up again xx


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[ankietyjoe]

Is this family dynamic normal for you? Arguments and third party death threats?